need support and advice

[brknwng]

I think I just posted to a wrong forum, in other words, Im a newbie to joining a support forum, but not a newbie to w/d.  so tired of the cycle, abuse, w/d, abuse because can"t handle w/d , I am on day 1 but my fifth try this year alone. my drug of choice is the opiods. I want clean. I am so tired of them controlling and stealing everything I love from my life. Please, my friends, I want this but.........pretty ds

[brknwng]

hey Maxy, noticed in roll call you go to AA. Like you, not many NA meetings close. Will they accept a narc addict. Have heard they can be not too accommodating to pill users. AA would be closer and so many more meetings than local (3) NA meetings. I really want this.

[brknwng]

Goodmorning and thank you for your response bigdaddy. I do plan on starting NA meetings soon as I am well enough to attend. I do have reasons for not going to center or hospital but who knows, I am too determined this time to not let it win. I  am tired of the game of addiction, the lies, the searching for pills. I am very sick this morning and please, continue your support. I am new to reaching out for this and, my gosh, I don't feel alone. That's gold right now

[brknwng]

Wow, thank you all. No my partner doesn't use but understands because she came from a family history of abuse. It is my career that is keeping me out of hospital/detox center. I have been on sabbatical for almost a year because I knew I was spiraling out of control. So, it has also now started to take a career that took 20 years to aquire. I am so done with this monster but after five hours sleep, I woke up because I had soiled myself. the W/D is the worse I have ever had but I am determined and my partner is very supportive. A little history; I have struggled with substance abuse most my life, going for periods of several years sober. I came from a very abusive family of origin and proud to say I am the only one out of the four of us that got help, was in  therapy for 7 years, worked hard through university and am double Ph.D. . I have a Ddx of PTSD with severe depressive episodes. My last relapse started with a blown disc, third cervical, which compressed my C1 through 5. Knew before I went to pain management that it was a bad idea but....am in pain and an addict. I am afraid this monster will continue and I have a lot to lose. right now I am terrified of being DS again and the level of abuse was high this rodeo of three years. Seaside, I appreciate your advice. I am doing Thomas recipe but stomach cramps are so bad  I can't hold anything down. I really need all of you. With the advice and support, and a lot of help from God, maybe I can do it this time. I feel awful, but I want it. I want my life back. Thank you for allowing me to post a lot. I think that is the only way I will be able to do this.

[Bigdaddy1313]

Is it possible to check into the hospital detox center to help you through the nightmare of detoxing. Like you I kept relapsing because I couldn't get past day two. The chills, sweats, diarrhea, and everything that comes along with it is very, very hard. I failed so many times I honestly didn't think I could stop. Going into a medical facility made it so much more easier. For me there is something about being in a safe environment where they are there to help you with different types of detox medication made it bearable. Also I was in with several other people like me detoxing off of the same things I was. That was huge to be able to talk to each other about how crappy we all felt actually made it funny and we could laugh about it. At home by yourself is so lonely and for me it was virtually impossible. Don't worry about aftercare until you get to the other side of detox. AC is vital to staying clean and out of the grip of the demon of addiction. You mentioned your family doesn't know but I would bet they know a lot more than you think they know. Plus they love you. If they see you asking for helping going into a detox center I bet they will be proud and happy that you have made this wise choice. Please consider going in and get your fanny checked in. Hopefully you have insurance but even if you don't check in anyway. Just think of how much money you will save not buying your drug of choice. Being clean is such a joy. Such a blessing. I never thought I could get clean and on March 13th of nest month will be 2 years for me. Life is sweet. Please go check in.

[CRSeaside]

Do you need to control pain?  Then get some ovc meds at drug store.
Are you using and your partner using As something is missing in life ?
Go to a mental Heath professional. Then NAMI support group. Or aftercare of your choice.
I was on a Dr taper last year. It was 3 months long.
  Get a plan. Get some reasons. Some goals.
  Meanwhile be as healthy as possible to endure.  Take supplements. Vitamins. Stop all sugar and white flour products. Back to basics. Fish and fresh vegetables. Eat lots of bananas.
   Get a reliable person you answer to. Not just each other. In person  
  We will help you. Keep posting. Stay off the drugs.  Maxy

[refills]

IMO that's too quick of a taper. Some doctors will taper that amount for months. While it's good to want to stop taking the opiates, just getting fed up is not enough. A plan for the detox along with a definite plan for after-care is needed. Have you tried inpatient care? Do you have insurance that will cover expenses? I wish you the best. Keep posting.......

[brknwng]

I have not taken any opana for 5 days but started weaning off of them with percs. The first day I took 6 percs, then 5 next day, next day 4, next day 3 and today just 2 percs.  The percs helped get the opana out while helping take the edge off of the physical w/d.  But I am out of percs now and am scared for tomorrow.  Am I doing it right?

[brknwng]

I am the partner/support.  She has been on opana 24 hour extended release 8mg pills.  She would chew or blow up to three of those a day for about the last 3 months with a couple percs in between.  We need advice about tapering and when it is time to see a Dr.  Was kicked out of pain management a year ago so don't really know what type of Dr to see about a wean down.

[refills]

You sound like you're ready. What's the plan and do you have any help at all? I hope your changing up the approach. IMO, a doctor should be involved if possible. Hey tell everybody I say. That is what I did. Cut those ties. I can't really help you with tapering, but there are many on here that can. Help us help you by posting a little more detail as you are comfortable with. Speaking for myself, I was just getting a little to old to be acting like that. Addiction is no fun at all. C,mon we can do it!

[brknwng]

Hello friend, and thank u so much for responding. a long history with percocets, was introduced how to blow opana er, so one gets the dilaudid quick, about 4 months  ago. im ashamed to say I'm 55 and, I hate what drugs have done to me. can't go anywhere unless I had enough. I hide it from family members. I really want to stay clean this time but w/d, I am so tired and hate this game. I am getting so sick and its only been 24 hours.

[lolaragdoll28]

Which opiates do you have , wat mg and for how long and how old r u?