need to keep strong

[hampton1982]

hi, im new to this site. im 28 and i was a heroin addict for 6 yrs i havent smoked for 10 weeks this coming saturday, i am on 20 mls of methodone a day. i feel so much better than i have in ages im putting on weight and the sparkle is comeing back to my eyes im in a good place but i need some advice on how to stay strong when im feeling weak. i feel so guilty about wanting to use tho the craveings are getting fewer. i know its in my head but i wish it would go away does anyone have any advice on being in a similar situation? what did you do?

[IBKleen]

I first started going to NA 23 years ago this month, it was another year before I really got into it. Anyhow, I went under protest. I didn't like it. I didn't like the people, I didn't hear the message, I didn't like the readings, hell--I didn't like the color of the paint on the walls or the tiles on the floor. I sat in the back with my arms folded and didn't speak for 3 months. I thought they were a cult of some sort and I was waiting for them to start chanting and handing me flowers. I thought it was a religious organization under cover--I thought all sorts of strange stuff. Something must have sunk in because I kept going and while I was going, I didn't use. Amazing. Then I joined in and realized they are just a group of people who are no different then me and all they are trying to do is get and stay clean. I learned that I can't do it alone, but together it seems to work. I got very involved and for the first 5-1/2 years I never missed a meeting--not one day. I got a sponsor and I worked the steps. I lost that fear of the unknown and I lost the fear of being with a bunch of strangers. I worked on a lot of old issues and I got my life back.  Honestly, they are no different then any of us. They ARE us. I made new friends there and those folks became my life-line and still are today. I had an accident some years ago and fell off the wagon with pain medication but I still knew enough to go back to the meetings and hang on to the people who supported me and didn't judge me. It took me a while to get clean again and get back but I am back now and, like I said, it is where my friends are (plus some other special people in my life) and it is where I can go with any problem, any time and they accept me. I don't know any place else I can do that.

I am rambling. Listen guys, I mean it when I say it is not for everyone but you owe it to yourself to try it. And not just once, I mean try it and give it some time. If it is not for you then that is okay.

I am old and tired and off to bed...LOL If I can tell you any more about it (not sure I can) I would be happy to try. Maybe do a google search on it and do some reading about it before you go. One thing, don't be afraid. No one will stare, no one will judge you and you don't have to talk if you don't want to in the beginning. Listening is always good.

I wish you the best. Nite.

[LeaAnn807]

If nothing else comes out of your first few meetings, you will meet people and probably get numbers of people who are clean who you can call when you need to!  Just go for now.  You don't have to worry about liking it.  If you don't, no one can make you keep going right?  So nothing to lose?!  Give it a try!

[hampton1982]

thankyou i think i mught give it a try like you have all said ive nothing to lose and just maybe i can gain a bit of strength of the meeting and it can help me in my dak depressing weak moments which im starting to need help with x
trhanks everybody x

[Richda]

I must agree with IBKleen,  I went to an AA meeting with my brother(addiction is sadly a kind of family trait) Now my brother has never liked AA or being sober for that matter, but never the less I made him go because at that time he needed help(he is 18 mo sober but that is a different story) the whole way there he told me how these people would be this way or that way and the smell and the guy in the suit, and the coffee... I got there and I was terrified, but its amazing once you walk in that room and you realize that you are just like them, it doesn't matter what car you drive, what house you live in, all of that goes away. There are people there who have the same problem as you do, and the most important thing I ever learned from anyone in my life which isn't that long, is that society has changed, back in the old days the elders would gather the young around and tell them how to harvest the land and how to hunt and the society learned its values and gained wisdom as a group. Which we don't have anymore, and he compared AA to that, you got the guys that have been there forever and they know everything, not because they necessarily experinced it but because someone before them did or before that person. Its a great tool in gaining a better understanding of who you are, how you can succeed, and they are there to help people like you, because they know what it feels like. Sorry for the length, I hope this helps, and I wish you the best.

[hampton1982]

thank for your post. i dont know i think its because i dont know what to expect. maybe i have the wrong impression of what they are like. did they help you and how long did you go for to notice that they helped? any advice would be great x

[cathy499]

I just found some na meetings in my area to attend--what should I expect?

[IBKleen]

I just read your other message. Why do you feel silly and why don't you think it will help you? What do you think NA is all about? Maybe we can shed some light on it for you so you understand it better.

[IBKleen]

I am 22 years clean off of Heroin and I also did it through the fellowship of NA. It took me years to get my head out of my ars and realize that I couldn't do alone and needed support from people who were just like me and could teach me how to live life without the use of drugs. Just so you know, I relapsed on pain medication so I only have 3 years clean, but I did not go back to my doc---Heroin.

NA is not for everyone but it is sure worth a try. Go to a few meetings and find the ones that are comfortable for you, one meeting won't do it so don't give up. What have you got to lose by trying, right?

Here is the link to find meetings in your area:

http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/

Let us know how you make out. I wish you the best.

[hampton1982]

do you go to any meetings? would you say that it helped you? for some reason i feel silly going and i dont know why its strange to me lol

[hampton1982]

thank you for your advice i was thinking that i should start going to na meetings a friend of mine suggested it but i feel abit silly and for some reason dont see how it will help. im sure its better than what im doing at the moment and anythings worth a shot. its great to hear that over comeing addiction can be done and congratulations to you too x

[LeaAnn807]

Are you doing any aftercare like meetings or therapy?  

[SLadylani]

Hi, I'm clean 4 years, 1 month, 27 days off heroine and meth. I did it through Narcotics Anonymous. They had a support system for me and tools for me to use whenever I did have those urges to use. I could call someone, read recovery literature, go to a meeting, help out a newcomer or be of service, or just hang out with someone who had already been through what I had, which gave me hope that it was possible. I'm not saying that NA is the way you have to do it, but it has a great support system, and it helps to call someone when urges strike so you don't have to go through them alone. Today it's crazy, after this much time clean, I don't have urges anymore, maybe once or twice a year. I'm a Hospice nurse and work with narcotics all the time and have no problem with it. The obsession to use has been lifted. I have a life. I never thought I'd get here, or live to get here. NA has a hotline that you can call and/or websites to get a list of meetings, or just talk to someone, you could probably look for the number on the internet. I wish you luck either way, and congratulations on the hard work you have done so far :)

Sara