***need your advice to avoid trigger*****

[joann1975]

I am about 9ish days off lortabs. I tapered. I am not good at counting the days. I just know this weekend is really going to be the test for me. We are going to a sporting event for my niece and it is about an hour and a half drive from here...that I can handle....my Mom called and wants to ride w/us. Now I am freaking. Of all the things in this whole world she is probably my biggest trigger and probably the deep down reason I use. Without going into a lot of details she just puts me over the edge NO MATTER WHAT and always has. I am kind of starting to get freaked about it...but the other part of me is just trying to pretend like it isn't happening. I do take on a regular basis (but have NEVER abused it b/c I don't like the downers) clonazepam...I considered taking them with me to break in 1/2 but that is just trading one addiction for another....but this early in my recovery don't I need to do everything I can to stay off the lortabs?

I am trying to not get too freaked b/c there is a big chance she will flake out and not go with us and I will have gotten worked up for nothing but I need to be prepared if she does. Also, to add to it she can't sit in the back seat of our truck b/c we have the suicide doors and she can't handle not having control of being able to open her door whenever she wants.....well after so long w/my back I get uncomfortable in the backseat. I am fine taking turns but she won't even do that. So I know my back will flare up with that and the sitting either on the ground at the game or in lawn chairs. The pain I will get over but throw her in with it and ..... man I don't know. Also, I get b!tchy and take it out on my poor hubby and then you know where it goes from there.

Sorry for rambling I am just getting nervous about this and any advice would be appreciated greatly!! Thank you in advance!

[sadinmichigan]

You are welcome..You are a sweet and caring person..i honestly understand how your feeling..about a few things..You are going to be just fine,...don't forget to cahrge your cell phone incase you need to make a call..LOL...i'll be home all day..you could text me and then i'll call..take your mind off the few moments or something...(please know I am not making light of this)...xoxoxLisa♥♥♥♥♥to you

[confused456]

Joann....please PM me!!

[joann1975]

Lisa...thanks for your sweet encouraging words. I needed them.

[joann1975]

I NEVER said I am going to take a benzo every time I have a trigger. My post has been taken completly out of context here. I was considering it worst case scenario in the event I needed to.... I am only about 9 days into my recovery. I don't even like the benzos but I know that it would chill me out enough to get me through the road trip w/o losing it on my Mother. NOBODY knows the relationship or understands the complexity of it. Thank you all for trying to help and for those with your positive words of encouragement. I always try and encourage people and send kind words and thoughts their way. I was just venting b/c I am nervous about tomorrow and I was hoping I could get a few "you can do it" I have even said a hundred times that I was hoping for that and I am still getting these take control.... don't let your Mom ride with you. I RARELY post my own posts on here b/c each time I get insulted or shot down. So instead I just talk to the few people I have made friends with here and then comment on others posts and offer encouraging words and try to be kind, loving, supportive & non-judgemental. I am more upset now about the few responses I have gotten on here than my trip tomorrow.

[sadinmichigan]

Girl...Of COURSE YOU CAN DO IT!!!..Just by talking it out here hopefully it will help prepare your mind and get ready..I know what you mean though...I have figured out pretty much all stress is my trigger..and damn...that sucks....I would definately take the benzo with you and if you need it..then take it..Good luck tomarrow..You are going to be ok..Just keep thinking about your neice..it sounds like quite an accomplishment she has made..thats cool..she will be so glad to see you and gramma too..xoxo Lisa

[kimmieb]

everyone here who posted is correct in what they're saying...it's just that we're all different and we all deal with things in different ways....you can't fault someone for suggesting one thing or another that maybe you didn't like....it's just human nature....no one is perfect....we all try to help....but sometimes a person doesn't like the "help" or "advice" that is given...that's ok...doesn't mean anything bad....just keep perspective....and remember we're all grown-ups and have our own opinions and experiences and advice on how to handle things....if you ask for advice, you'll most definitely get it here!  whether it's  EXACTLY what you want to hear all the time, well, that's another story! :-)  but keep the faith....everyone here is "good people"....no one is trying to be nasty....just truthful and honest....which is EXTREMELY important during recovery, as is support and encouragement....but not always sugar-coated support and encouragement, ya know?  keep the faith....all will be ok!
k.