one month today

[enufisenuf]

I have read forum for a while...never posted.  Anyway today marks one month w/no hydro. That would be longest in 2 1/2 years.  I have stopped probably 8 or 9 times in that time period usually because prescription was out. During the last year thought I could control intake...yeah, right.  Realize now that is not possible for me, so I am hopeful this is the last.  I am actually confident, but I know how it can change quickly sometimes, so I will stick with hopeful. So, at 30 days I feel good...not perfect, but good.  It has gotten more and more difficult to stop...maybe not more pain, but longer....so I feel I may be close to the last chance to stop and become myself again completely. Anyway, thanks to all that post...I have seen myself in many comments that I have read.  I will post more later...thanks again as you all have helped.

[Jambo62]

hey Congratulations I can't wait until I can report 1 Month...I am at 13 days now...It's ironic you say you were surprised at the way you feel about flushing your remaining pills away.  i say that because about day 3 or 4 when i was feeling my worst i mamaged to flush 48 of them down the crapper....I was either going to take the or flush them,  I won that battle, but I do have a script for 80 more available to me...which i need to cancel because tonight i don't want them but i could see the day that i would think i can handle it and i would be right back where i started........An earlier post said you nned to shut off your supplier even if they are legal.....it sure makes sense....it's a total commitment which is what being clean is all about...continued good luck and JGod Bless you.

[cynicalslave]

Good job man!! Today also marks my one month clean. So that is a positive coincidence! Stay strong!

[ochooked]

Good for you Enuf ---  I am glad you are thinking - --- I know you will come to realize that as addicts, we just cannot afford to give the devil an inch -  you already know he will take a mile --- Gotta stay clean and not just until the temptation gets strong -- gotta prepare for it -- best way to do that is to SLAM that door shut -- Ask anyone on here if they had drugs available to them, would they have taken them in their moment of crisis or craving --  You already know the answer -- It is the same reason that most of the folks on this site have said they can't taper --- they often say  "If I got em - I  take em."  So, the best thing is to flush, flush, flush.  It is so liberating.   Wish you a very Merry Christmas.

[worried878]

congrats on ur clean time!  all clean time is good time....accepting that we dont always feel perfect is a big part of this whole thing for many...keep posting

[enufisenuf]

thanks for responses...particularly ochooked...maybe I am not in as good of shape as I thought because even though I do feel a really strong commitment, different from the other down times, your idea of "closing the door" did give me some anxiety. I actually still have 13 and 1/2 10/325 left and have had them in reach the whole month...I was going to flush them the first week, but decided to wait until I felt OK and was not acting on the wd...planning on flushing on the 31st.  Still need to let that "close the door" idea sink in...I am a little surprised by my reaction.
Thanks for the insight.

[ochooked]

Wonderful post Enuf ----   I would ask you, though, about the strength of your commitment ---  Did you leave the door open back to your supply - for "just in case I can't make it??"   Hope you will consider slamming that door closed --- if you do not tell your doctor that you had a problem that was getting out of hand, it is almost certain that you will (in a weak moment) decide to return for "just one more refill".  Nothing spells "I have quit for good" like telling your supplier - even if it is a wonderful doctor whom you adore.  I wish you all the best.

[bandnmom]

Congrats to you! 1 month is a huge accomplishment! You should be very proud of yourself. Hope you stick aound and continue to post. I would not be over a year clean without this forum! Its a life saver! Welcome

[gizzy32]

CONGRATS!!! One month is fantastic and when i seemed to notice all the postive changes starting to happen. Accepting that you can't control it, puts you in control as you know you can't go back. Confidence is great man, but take it from the king of relapsers, never ever let your guard down. Aftercare is essential to STAYING clean. You are doing great and nice to see you make your first post, hopefully not the last:) One month, woo hoo.