one thing after another.ON THE BRINK!!

[overopiates]

PLEASE READ IM SORRY ITS SO LONG...
Ive been here a few months,been strong+tried2help others but OMG.I thought I had my cravings under control.I got hurt a couple days ago ended up n the ER.Lots of pain but I didnt TAKE anything narcotic/addictive.
I have been dealing w/stress OK BUT its getting so much worse.Right now and lately its been lots of money stress.my husband is on unemployment after taxes out its only$211a week,cant find a job+Im n the process of getting on social security but almost done w/that long process(a couple more months).We have NO SAVINGS AT ALL LEFT!Our bills r piling up no one to turn to(electic will b turned off friday if we dont pay it+no$4rent due on the 3rd.Its a big possability Ill have2go2my moms w/my2yr old n Florida for at least a few weeks.Leaving my hubby over2000miles away.Im freaking out.Anxiety big time,stressed beyond belief.All I can think about is needing a xanax so bad to stop the feeling of an anxiety attack or how some lortabs would make this situation easier to deal with.I have already been told by my DR(who gave me the tabs,soma,xanax)if I need them to call they will call them n he didnt agree w/me quitting.I still c him for AD+migraine meds.NEVER been n this situation+panicked.
I know its a big mistake to use pills to get through this BUT I feel like Ive hit a whole new rock bottom.I write this w/tears streaming down my face.Dunno what2do.....
Sabrina

[Sad_Woman]

Just want to let you know I can commiserate! Back in June I found out I was pregnant. Right after that my hubby found himself out of work. While trying to taper off sub I had my gas shut off, struggled to put food on the table, had my van stolen..oh yeah the devil himself threw out every trick in the book to derail me. I held on, somehow I held on.

I'm off sub now and although the bills are still piling up and I'm stressed beyond belief the biggest thing: being held captive by a drug- is no more. If I can get through that I can handle anything!

You will too! Things always have a funny way of working out you'll see.. Stay strong ok and so will I.

[leggs469]

When I started detoxing off the meth it was like I was waking up finally. All my friends have made jokes for so long about me nodding. Even my Godson noticed & he's only 5 yrs old. It's a great feeling! I'm 53 now & I feel like I wasted so much of my life drugging. I just want so bad to get off this last 40mg so I can truly be sober. My doc gave me xanax for panic attacks & I hated them. If I took a xanax for a panic attack, I'd be out of it the rest of the day. So I finally quit taking them & I still have panic attacks but I deal with them another way {Breathing} & so far, so good. I don't want to be out of control & nodding ever again. Hopefully I will find a doc to help me get off the last 40mg. Only my best for you & thanks for listening.  Leggs

[littlebit667]

This is part the info I got when we dealt with my husband's alcoholism and learning he was bipolar a few years ago.  Whenever the addiction takes over..emotional development sorta stops.  Hopefully, when the addiction is no longer part of their lives..the emotional level begins to grow again.  My husband has moved from 27 to 35 in the last few years!  :)

[overopiates]

Its odd I feel young+old at the same time.Ive been through a lot of life experiences so I feel older than my years n some ways but I spent most of my20's n a drug haze that seemed2fly by w/o too many distinct memories so n ways I feel like Ive just really started living an adult life since I got sober.Does anyone else relate to that?

[dominosarah]

I cant wait to get the one at the grocery store!  Monday night shopping with a 5% discount!!  lol

[Luckytwice]

I just got my seniors discount card a couple years ago and now they don't even ask me for it anymore, they just automatically give me the discount... :o(

[Luckytwice]

Oh, so you are just a kid then, LOL!

[dominosarah]

I turned the big 5-0 in May!  Life is just beginning~~

[overopiates]

Gnarly:Thats what I was saying I didnt realize unti now that for years EVERYTIME I got stressed out I would reach for a pill.I didnt realize it until that was my knee jerk reation to all the stress.I need to change that.
Yup still have my big girl pants on LOL.
I realized this morning that I have a 2yr old that knows when there is a lot of stress Going on and taking care of him is so much more important than self pity.Hopefully one of the many things were trying2do2make sure everything is ok will come through.Im a little disappointed n myself though.I turn the big 3-0 tomorrow so I need to b an adult about this.

[Luckytwice]

Hi Sabrina.  Sorry you are in an economic mess, and I know how stressful that is, believe me. But turning to pills for relief isn't going to help any, and you know it.

The three main amino acids that will are  5HTP,(which I think you can't take because you are taking an antidepressant?)  but the  L-Tyrosine,200mg) and L-Glutamine. (1000 mgs 3x day) you can, is cheap, and should help with stress, along with some black or green tea in the evening to relax you.  And the multivitamin and vitamin C.

Things will turn around for you and your Hubby soon. And  healthier and happier you will make that day all the better when it comes.

Hang in there.

[dominosarah]

Call the places that you owe the money too and talk with them.  Deal with these issues head on.   Usually there is a solution as i am sure they deal with this sort of thing all the time.......

[vicki595]

Sabrina:  Still have on your "big girl pants?"

Try to stay strong and I KNOW it's hard but you just have to. In the greater scheme of life you'll be much happier without the pills. I promise you!

Keep checking in, okay?

[gnarly_1]

hi your going threw a ruff time it will pass DONT USE THE LORTABS from here on in its strickly otc stuf.....I have forund a really good teay to relax you it wirks beteert then xanex in my mind its callled '''YOGI keva stress relieving tea you can get it on line or google a store that careys it it really helps me im bipolar and suffer with anxiety it dose the trick,,,,,,,you got to get it in your mind set that you cant use pills to fix everything in the long run they only cause harm......im not trying to give you a hard time but only trying to keep you from making the same mistakes as I did you will get past this and learn howv to deal with it your sobriety is strong you can do this good luck and God bless.......Gnarly  

[snakejones]

How's the back today, darlin'?

[overopiates]

Thank-you so much everyone for ur support.I had a good cry then decided to put on my big girl pants+deal with Whatever happens.
-to justsaynotodrugs I have been clean for a few months no need to quit but I appreciate u looking out.
I am feeling sry for myself thats too self indulgent to pity myself for NOT being able to take something to numb myself when the bad stuff gets too much.People do it EVERYDAY.U all r great thanks for the advice and ur stories.It helps a lot

[going2bemommy]

i feel u we lived on unemployment 210.00 a week for 6 months when my husband was out of work we also are recovering addicts. I can tell u the one and ONLY thing that saved us was us turning our lives over to Jesus not easily done for some because they dont believe in God i can tell u from our personal exp after accepting Christ into our lives it has been the BESt thing we have done. It is not all roses all the time but we do NOT go w/out my husband was just off on back surgery we had no income for 2 months we and God provided for us we didnt looses anything and nothing got shut off. I just wanted to share this w u that there is hope it is jsut about who u put ur trust in dr's, other people, or God i will be praying for u i am very sad to read this because i was there once and i know the only answer but some just dont/wont believe. i can tell u taking pills again would be a HUGE mistake this too shall pass and then u r left w starting all over w the detox. Blessings to u

[justsaynotodrugs]

         Its not easy dealing with the pain that these narcotics can cause.  When you just stop taking them your mind still wants that good feeling. You need to ween down off these drugs if you don't you might pick up again see your Doc. tell him or her whats going on you should be able to get help. There are programs in place to help addicts with there addiction.

[Innerstrength67]

Thinking of you girl! This is very stressful stuff your dealing with. When you get through this ruff patch without pills you can get through anything.

[snakejones]

Hi Sabrina--I am so sorry you've got such a burden on you right now. I tell you this, though--you'll make it through. Think of the big picture as well as your current situation. Today's problems are a bump in the road. Have you checked around at local churches? Our churches here help many folks with food and paying electric bills. Our town has been hit really hard with NASA layoffs---many, many engineers and techs now unemployed and worrying how they will take care of their families. Our best friend got laid off two weeks ago from NASA with a lot of his buddies. My husband is still working there, but it's been easy for us to fret and lose sleep over him being laid off at a moment's notice. Being out of work is scary, no matter who you are! Right now you do what you have to; health and the baby come first, money second. Has your hubby had any luck yet with getting some job leads? Can he stay with his mom while you stay with yours if it comes to that? Can the three of you stay with MIL? You'll be back together soon, you just gotta regroup. But it is best for the three of you if you can stay together. Anyone you can borrow a little $$ from? Anything to sell on eBay or locally? That's all I can think of for the moment, but I'll try to think of more. I am so sorry about this. I will include you three in my nightly prayers for good things to happen soon. Have faith the best you can. You'll get through!

[LeaAnn807]

Honey, you are going to have to get ahold of yourself before you explode!  Drink some tea and take a hot bath.  These are all things going on that you cannot change, right?  Going to your mom's  may be a good thing right now.  It was when I did it!  You don't wanna go back down pill road!  Trust me.  I did it a lot of times, and there is nothing that will make you feel worse than that.  You think you feel like rock bottom now?  Taking pills causes guilt on top of that!  

You can get past this!! : )  It's gonna be ok!

[Pricogirl83]

Hello Sabrina,

I just read your post and I want you to know that deciding the choice to use narcotics to "help out" is the worst decision honey. I say this because I used opiates for that reason for 8 years. It has been a very hard struggle and now I am stopping opiates, once again, and it was the WORST decision to use those things. They make you feel good for only a little bit and then either you need more or get extremely grouchy afterwards. If you would like to talk, please feel free to. I hope things go well for you in life, times are really hard I see right now. I will pray for you honey. god bless

[muchlove5]

Hang in there. You can do this.  The fact you didn't take the offer from the idiot doctor in the first place is awesome.  You are underestimating your strength.  I relate to the financial issues I realte to.  I look at it as I or one of my children could be sick with cancer or someone always has it worse.  I tried to be thank ful.  I know its tiff butt negativity has never benefited anyone.  Also with money when we all die one day you don't take money with you.  You do take your memories of YOYR loved ones with You and can rest in peace knowing the earth while in a good place.:)  Pills and drugs will rob you of the memories and life you want to be present for.  Keep your head up you should be proud:)

[overopiates]

No Vicki its not the pills.Honestly I can get them   anytime I want and Im fully aware of that.Its that Ive NEVER dealt w/a situation this awful w/o using and I dont know how to deal w/it sober(if that makes sense).Its not like Im dying2get high(I would just end up way more disappointed+10X worse off).Im fully aware if that.Quitting is1of the biggest accomplishments EVER.Just dont know how2deal w/o that awful crutch I had4so long:(

[overopiates]

Thank-you Laurel.I really appreciate your support.