Aa
live with an addict
I don't know where to turn or what I can do, I live with my son who is engaged to a woman who uses several medicastions that are prescribed to her, oxycontin, fentanyl, percocet, morphine, soma, ambien, adavan as well as a "black tar" sunbstance she claims is hash oil. She constantly "steals" her meds that are controled by myself and my son and I suspect either overdoses or sells them for the "hash oil" she is spending all of the money we have for bills and is also a compulsive eater, eating all of our food if it's labeled not hers or not. Right now I am very frustrated and maybe skipping a few details as I am just at my wit's end. We were also recently victims of a home invasion and i am certain it's related to her activities. Our house is very isolated and not visible at all, someone would have to know it is here. I am scared every night that someone else will break in and attack us, they did attack before. She also won't assist the police who generally do nothing anyway...and recently when someone camr to the door, just opened it as if nothing ever happened. Mind you, we get a knock on the door maybe once every 2 years. I am scared every time I hear anything and tired of her abuse. I have no income so I can;t just leave. I have suggested my son get her into rehab. Well I feel dumb typing all this. I feel hopeless.
I have to laugh at the soggy bread and onions too! I just thought I'd share her latest fiasco. Last night she took my son's car to get drugs and was pulled over by a cop. I am laughing as I type this cause she claims the cop was behind her so she moved over to let him by. According to her, he stopped to see if she was ok. LOL! Cops don't do that for no reason! Anyway...while he was "seeing if she was ok" he discovered she didn't have her license in her possession so he "decided to call it a suspended license" and impounded my son's car! So my son goes to get the poor car out of car jail and of course finds out that her license has been suspended for FIVE YEARS! I have no idea what would cause such a stiff suspension. But I am sure she's thinking up a great yarn for us all. So far she's told him it's cause she didn't appear for court years ago so she was issued a resticted license for going to and from work. Work?? Ok...so where is THAT license? Well this is getting good, it keeps me entertained, or I have to think of it that way or I'll go insane. And I would love to see her go down the tubes...
Regarding the 900mg, her Dr says there are many patients who take 1,000s per day and this is low dose. What it is, is 200mg MSContin 3X/day with 10 60mg morphine per day for breakthrough pain. It is much less than fentanyl and oxycontin as far as opiates go.
Yeah I know, whatever with that. Her Dr before this one refused to prescribe anything unless she had a contract and had someone else administer the meds, this is why either myself or my son keep the meds. I did tell him that if the safe doesn't work we will have to have her visit the pharmacy daily. And really if a person has to go that far, they should be able to recognize that they need rehab. They won't take her meds away, they will just help her to get onto a reasonable amount for pain control and get her into PT as well.
The kicker here is that she is my income. I am legally her care giver through the State, cleaning, cooking, making sure she isn't falling, etc. I am not all that healthy myself and not employable. The house is a rental in my name but without their incomes and my measley added income, I can't afford the rent or utilities or anything at all.
I'm not eligible for any aid whatsoever, without going into boring details, I'm screwed. But I am very good at saving money and determined to get far away from here.
Intervention is an excellent idea. But who is left that cares? My son believes she is justified and entitled, although after today I am not sure. She's put his driving job in deep jeopardy now and she no longer is allowed to use the car. So this means he will have to drive for the drug deals or she will just have to stop. I told him this has to stop. Just ask the Dr for more meds, why put us all in danger?
Well, enough said. Back to soggy bread, I want to cut a hole in her bread and spill water next to it! Here's another one for your entertainment, (and I have plenty), she only eats white bread because other bread hurts :-\ .....
Wait. I have a new concern I almost fogot! She asked me to look up some disorders that she claimed Dr emailed her about...I suspected it wad from tv cause I heard her watching a medical show. Sure enough, when I looked them up, they were the topic on Mystery Diagnosis that day. My question is, does she have a mental disorder where she can't seperate tv, etc. from reality? Ok now I have to get back to soggy bread and onions and laugh so I can get to sleep :-)
Regarding the 900mg, her Dr says there are many patients who take 1,000s per day and this is low dose. What it is, is 200mg MSContin 3X/day with 10 60mg morphine per day for breakthrough pain. It is much less than fentanyl and oxycontin as far as opiates go.
Yeah I know, whatever with that. Her Dr before this one refused to prescribe anything unless she had a contract and had someone else administer the meds, this is why either myself or my son keep the meds. I did tell him that if the safe doesn't work we will have to have her visit the pharmacy daily. And really if a person has to go that far, they should be able to recognize that they need rehab. They won't take her meds away, they will just help her to get onto a reasonable amount for pain control and get her into PT as well.
The kicker here is that she is my income. I am legally her care giver through the State, cleaning, cooking, making sure she isn't falling, etc. I am not all that healthy myself and not employable. The house is a rental in my name but without their incomes and my measley added income, I can't afford the rent or utilities or anything at all.
I'm not eligible for any aid whatsoever, without going into boring details, I'm screwed. But I am very good at saving money and determined to get far away from here.
Intervention is an excellent idea. But who is left that cares? My son believes she is justified and entitled, although after today I am not sure. She's put his driving job in deep jeopardy now and she no longer is allowed to use the car. So this means he will have to drive for the drug deals or she will just have to stop. I told him this has to stop. Just ask the Dr for more meds, why put us all in danger?
Well, enough said. Back to soggy bread, I want to cut a hole in her bread and spill water next to it! Here's another one for your entertainment, (and I have plenty), she only eats white bread because other bread hurts :-\ .....
Wait. I have a new concern I almost fogot! She asked me to look up some disorders that she claimed Dr emailed her about...I suspected it wad from tv cause I heard her watching a medical show. Sure enough, when I looked them up, they were the topic on Mystery Diagnosis that day. My question is, does she have a mental disorder where she can't seperate tv, etc. from reality? Ok now I have to get back to soggy bread and onions and laugh so I can get to sleep :-)
this story just screams intervention to me. that's if you're nice. i am borderline nice and would have little difficulty having this person removed from my home. it won't be a home as long as she is there. you are in my prayers. best of luck, sway
Are you living with them or are they living with you? If it is your home, I would tell them they have to leave. I think this is a dangerous situation for you. Your poor son is either blindly in love and believing everything she says or is blindly in love and doesn't believe what she says but is just going along with it. And her stories about soggy bread and onions are nuts.
I'd be worried that this is a very unsafe situation for you. I can't believe one doctor would prescribe all those medications. Why are you the one in charge of them? What happens if she wants something and it isn't time, would she get physical with you?
Even if this is their home, is there someone you can maybe live with until you can get a place of your own? I cannot imagine living with the stress that must be in your house. I know you love your son but he's an adult and he is going to make his own choice about being with her or not. But I think for your own well-being you need to be out of this situation.
Best of luck.
I'd be worried that this is a very unsafe situation for you. I can't believe one doctor would prescribe all those medications. Why are you the one in charge of them? What happens if she wants something and it isn't time, would she get physical with you?
Even if this is their home, is there someone you can maybe live with until you can get a place of your own? I cannot imagine living with the stress that must be in your house. I know you love your son but he's an adult and he is going to make his own choice about being with her or not. But I think for your own well-being you need to be out of this situation.
Best of luck.
Hi again!!!
Your situation is sad but the soggy bread and onion story had me cracking up. They must think you are incredibly gullible.
She obviously needs help and is "in deep" and your son is enabling/oblivious to the situation.
It sounds like your plan to get out is a sound one. You truly need to look out for you because you WON'T win there.
Goodluck!!!!!
Your situation is sad but the soggy bread and onion story had me cracking up. They must think you are incredibly gullible.
She obviously needs help and is "in deep" and your son is enabling/oblivious to the situation.
It sounds like your plan to get out is a sound one. You truly need to look out for you because you WON'T win there.
Goodluck!!!!!
I feel so bad for you.
As active addicts we are liars and thieves. I never heard the "amnesia" story and I thought I heard them all.
She is on a ridiculous amount of pain medication and the combination lock will not stop her. She is an addict and her goal is to get high. 900 mg will not only stop the pain, it could stop her heart. She seriously needs long-term treatment.
You cannot save someone who doesn't want to be saved. If there is any way to remove yourself from the situation, please do.
My heart breaks for you that you are in this situation. I will say a prayer for you tonight. Hang in there.
As active addicts we are liars and thieves. I never heard the "amnesia" story and I thought I heard them all.
She is on a ridiculous amount of pain medication and the combination lock will not stop her. She is an addict and her goal is to get high. 900 mg will not only stop the pain, it could stop her heart. She seriously needs long-term treatment.
You cannot save someone who doesn't want to be saved. If there is any way to remove yourself from the situation, please do.
My heart breaks for you that you are in this situation. I will say a prayer for you tonight. Hang in there.
Thank you, everyone for your many comments. The substance on the foil isn't a pill, it's what she says is honey oil. I have never seen any honey/hash oil that is roch hard and black or smoked in that way. I have also suggested that she can get MMJ for a lot cheaper and legally and she won't. So I suspect it is not related to marijuana. The meds are all prescribed by one Dr. He recently took her off the fentanyl and oxycontin and perocets and replaced it all with 900mg of morphine per day. I have stored her medications in a locked box but she picked the lock claiming she has amnesia. Now it's in an actual safe with a combination. I believe she just wants to be totally pain free, she does have chronic pain from degenerative bone disease and a reconstructed neck. A year ago she fell on her hip and her left leg and hip are numb from nerve damage, so yes she does have pain and in sort of a catch-22 situation. I found a chronic pain rehab center for her but she said she didn't want to go. Big surprise. I have considered getting the meds out of the house altogether or making her think they are out, but we'd need special permissions for someone else to hold it. It is scary to watch her go through this, she is only 29 years old. I'm at the point where I have as little as possible to do with her. And try not to let her know things like don't cram food down the drain, she'll just do it more. I don't know if this is her normal behavior or the drugs. I don't really care. I just want out of here and trying to save my money so I can leave. My son thinks this is all normal and sympathizes with her, he thinks they can have children and I have told him she'd need to be drug free for probably a year first. And if she can do that for a baby she should do it for herself. I had to cut my grocery shopping short the other day because he had bought her a sandwich that he was afraid would get soggy and said she is allergic to soggy bread. LOL WTF? She is also allergic to cooking onions if she knows I'm cooking with them. No reaction if she doesn't know...sorry I am just sick of her. He is taking her out to dinner this weekend, I asked how will she sit in a restaurant with onions cooking? He said restaurants don;t use onions.....see I can't win I think I live with 2 morons.
Hi~
What exactly is your son doing about all of this? You have a right to a reasonable amount of security and safety.
Keep posting here so we know you're okay
Vicki
What exactly is your son doing about all of this? You have a right to a reasonable amount of security and safety.
Keep posting here so we know you're okay
Vicki
I agree with jamma, someone is likey smoking those pills or perhaps also the fentanyl.
Alanon would be a great step for both you AND your son. What about a pharmacy or pain clinic doling out the meds to get them out of your house??? I'm not sure of your laws there.
I really feel for you, she won't stop until she is ready.
Look out for YOU,
bob
Alanon would be a great step for both you AND your son. What about a pharmacy or pain clinic doling out the meds to get them out of your house??? I'm not sure of your laws there.
I really feel for you, she won't stop until she is ready.
Look out for YOU,
bob
Welcome to the forum. Yes, you can get fentanyl patches for pain, I'm over on the pain management area and there are several people that I know that use it for severe pain. My suggestion to you is to get her out of your house? Or, can you get the medication out of the house, hide it somewhere so she doesn't keep stealing it? It sounds as though she may accidentally overdose because of all the medications that she takes? What is the reason she has all those medications? Is she suffering from chronic pain, disk issues, surgeries? I'm just curious because I take tramadol and vicodin for a herniated disk, and I know some people on the pain forum that take a lot more medications but they have very serious medical conditions. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, I can totally understand that it must be very scary to watch what is happening to her.
I'm hoping you could get her into some sort of rehab before something really terrible happens? Please keep posting and keep us informed.
Karen
I'm hoping you could get her into some sort of rehab before something really terrible happens? Please keep posting and keep us informed.
Karen
She has a prescription for fentanyl??? I didn't even think you could get scrips of that. I thought it was only used by anesthesiologists because it's too dangerous due to it's strength and the rapid cycling of the high+withdrawal
the stuff on the foil is where somebody has smoked some oxy or hydrocodone it's from smoking some kind of pill.they put a lighter under the foil and use a straw to inhale the fumes that come from the pill heating up and melting.
I feel so bad for you it seems like this woman is making your life a living hell....
I feel so bad for you it seems like this woman is making your life a living hell....
I uploaded a photo of something I found in my house:
http://yfrog.com/3u0602001106j
can anyone tell me what this might be? there are 4 sheets of foil with this substance on it
http://yfrog.com/3u0602001106j
can anyone tell me what this might be? there are 4 sheets of foil with this substance on it
Is one doctor prescribing that many different controlled meds? The reason I ask is because it would be hard NOT to overdose on all of that, if she is taking it all daily. She obviously has a serious problem, but you have to take care of yourself, and make sure that you are not enabling her to keep on. You mentioned that she is abusing you....that's not right!
I would try to talk to your son about this. She really needs to get some help. You and your son could start with AlAnon. That is a GREAT idea! You will get support there, and you can get some ideas and advice on how to help yourselves with all of this.
Best of luck to you! (and your son!)
TH
I would try to talk to your son about this. She really needs to get some help. You and your son could start with AlAnon. That is a GREAT idea! You will get support there, and you can get some ideas and advice on how to help yourselves with all of this.
Best of luck to you! (and your son!)
TH
Thank you both for your caring responses, I don't feel so alone now. My son doesn't use drugs, he has no idea how powerful these medications are. I just returned home from 4 months on the east coast visiting a friend and already I want to get out of here. I told my son rehab would be better than finding her dead one day. She has overdosed many times. Her Dr refuses to prescribe to her at all unless we control the meds and lock them up. She gets to them anyway and yes this is a very serious problem. I will definitely find a local alanon for some answers. Thank you both so much!
Hi and welcome to the forum....I feel your pain ...a few yrs back my youngest daughter
turned into a crack/methamphetamine addict...we had a lot of stuff happen shady careters at the door one came in the house and started a fight with my wife...I wasn't home to defend her things started turning up missing in the house she stold money from her brothers and sisters it was a mess....living with an addict can be very difficult...
theres not much you can do if they dont want to get clean...it sounds like your son is enabling her to live the way she is living and it is hurting all of you...you should check out alaon meetings in your area they will give you copping skills to deal with an addict in the family you need to have a heart to heart talk with your son about all this she is on some very strong and additive narcotics it sounds to me like she is in full blown addiction and you my need to intervene...it is best when the person using relises
there is a problem and she probably dose both you and your son need to approach her together...I know it seams hopeless but theirs always hope keep coming here for support we all have a good ear for lissining ..good luck and God bless....Gnarly
turned into a crack/methamphetamine addict...we had a lot of stuff happen shady careters at the door one came in the house and started a fight with my wife...I wasn't home to defend her things started turning up missing in the house she stold money from her brothers and sisters it was a mess....living with an addict can be very difficult...
theres not much you can do if they dont want to get clean...it sounds like your son is enabling her to live the way she is living and it is hurting all of you...you should check out alaon meetings in your area they will give you copping skills to deal with an addict in the family you need to have a heart to heart talk with your son about all this she is on some very strong and additive narcotics it sounds to me like she is in full blown addiction and you my need to intervene...it is best when the person using relises
there is a problem and she probably dose both you and your son need to approach her together...I know it seams hopeless but theirs always hope keep coming here for support we all have a good ear for lissining ..good luck and God bless....Gnarly
Hi and welcome to the forum!
Maybe she could get some help or go to rehab, but if this is your idea and not hers, and she doesn't want to do it, then odds are that she wouldn't stay clean anyway. It's always worth a shot though. It sounds like a very bad situation. You don't deserve to have to be scared and abused. I would say even if you have to stay with someone else for awhile then that's what you may need to do. Not only is she in danger of overdose with all the controlled substances she is taking, it sounds as if she is doing some things that are illegal. Is there someone you could stay with? I would hate to see you or your son go to jail or get hurt over something she is doing. Does your son use drugs too?
I am so sorry for your situation!
TH
Maybe she could get some help or go to rehab, but if this is your idea and not hers, and she doesn't want to do it, then odds are that she wouldn't stay clean anyway. It's always worth a shot though. It sounds like a very bad situation. You don't deserve to have to be scared and abused. I would say even if you have to stay with someone else for awhile then that's what you may need to do. Not only is she in danger of overdose with all the controlled substances she is taking, it sounds as if she is doing some things that are illegal. Is there someone you could stay with? I would hate to see you or your son go to jail or get hurt over something she is doing. Does your son use drugs too?
I am so sorry for your situation!
TH
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