Hello fishersnana. There is a movie you should watch. Actually it is a documentary. It is called, "The Finger of God" produced by Darren Wilson. You can watch the entire film on youtube in 10 parts. Remember that when you watch this film, you are no different than anyone on there. We are all the same.
On another note, You should applaud yourself for getting clean. If you can get clean, there is nothing that you can not overcome.
you are still on the suboxone now? is the neurologist aware of your suboxone use?
seizures can be a side effect of suboxone.
have you been to a psychiatrist?