i am having the worst time with kicking my addiction to prescription meds... i actually have a package of them being delivered tomorrow - i bought them online, i can even track them on fedex.com.. i completed the narconon program about a year and a half ago, but i have relapsed several times.. and i am so very depressed that i barely have the will to live much of the time. i just don't seem to be able to summon up any personal strength anymore. i have become too weak emotionally. i look forward to nothing. i fear everything. i know after i take the pills and wake up from it all, the guilt will be worse- and yet, i just cannot seem to say no and have the courage to not take them. and i do not have anyone to really answer to- no husband, or children around me that are directly affected or witness to my useage. and although i am not of retirement age, i am retired- and what compounds it is the fact that i have a very financially comfortable life, so i have the money to order the meds online-- which is a very expensive basically. so, well here i sit - just trying to get online to see what was out here and read other's stories, etc.. in hopes of some inspiration i suppose... i know it is up to me to stop this vicious cycle... but that is the problem..