question for those in recovery

[grievingwidow]

I have been on methadone and percocet, very low dose, like 20 mg a day on the methadone and 10 mg a day on the percocet, but it has been probably 15 years that I have been taking this for chronic headaches.  I used to be hopeful that I could get off someday but then after my husband died, and the major depression set it, it was just hard.  My question is this, after going through the horrendous detox that has to occur to get off, after all that is over, can you really feel happy again, and do actually feel "better" than you did on the meds?  I am trying to figure out if there is really a negative to me being on the drugs, I never feel a high, never, but they may make me feel better than I would off the meds. I do know that I dread going to the doctor every month, I mean really dread it, it makes me nervous and my blood pressure goes up, am always afraid he will stop giving them to me, and I have been through withdrawal twice, I don't think I could do it again.  So a big positive would be the fact that I would not have to go see him every month.  I suppose I have a lack of feeling in control of my life as it is now, my self-esteem is so low, I lost my job and lost my home, am living with my mother.  I want to get my life back, do you think it is important to get off the drugs to do this?

Thank you for any help you can give me.

Love, Cindy

[avisg]

Yes life is better drug free .There is a very good chance at some point your doctor will stop prescribing them at some point you most likely have to get off of them. You are the only one that knows when you will be ready to get off them. You could always start a slow taper of the methadone a little at time.

[gizzy32]

Your are not a bother, sometimes it's slower on here on weekends. Of course you will feel happy again off them, that is the myth of using, we won't be happy again and that's a lie. The problem with that is we have to go through a bit of hell to regain ourselves and be happy. If you want to get your life back, what are you willing to do? Are you ready to get off these pills?

[grievingwidow]

never mind, I know that I would be better off without drugs, sorry to bother you people, you are busy enough I know...........................  thanks anyway.