I need help, please

[AnShiloh]

I am Shiloh and have been taking hydrocodone and tramidol excessively for 8 years because of major surgeries.  I finally realized that I am hooked.  I have taken nothing but gabapintin for 13 days and still live min. To min. Can someone give me some advice or hope.  Please.

[buddycrunch]

I thought I was posting on an old thread so made another post here.  :)

1.  No, I was on oxycodone and vicodin and oxycontin from my worthless drug dealin brother inlaw after I couldn't get my hydrocodone refilled anymore.

2. My shrink gave me a script for only 60 pills of tramidol @ 50 mg each and said to take 2 per day till gone.  I googled them on the internet and see they are addictive even though not manufactured from opiates.   So I put them in the cupboard afraid to use them after going through oxycodone withdraws, five days were hell but still suffering at 49 days today.  Mostly just my original arthretic pains from a motorcycle wreck in 1976 broke both wrists yes both and mangled my face and nose, car wrecks and even a parachute accident that screwed up my back and legs,  I've had an ankle replaced in 1983 again in 84, an elbow replaced in 2006, 31 tumors taken out of my sinuses in december 2012 (hmmm, how did those get there?)  anyway been around pain meds for 30+ years,and tried street drugs.  I've kicked em several times (held a job with the city getting drug tested regularly from 1990 till 1996, then made it from 2002 to 2006 without any)   Been married 26 years to a wife who's never had a cigarette or touched alcahol nor missed church, got 4 kids, two grandkids.  

3.  The shrink rescheduled me for november 16th, and also prescribed gabapetin @ 300mg per day which i've been taking, but like you said in your first post gabapentin doesn't seem to help, it's "day to day struggle". Back during the summer while I was still taking oxy, i could work 3 to 4 days a week and walk a couple miles every other day,  now this entire week since Sunday I have worked 5 hours and walked one mile once.  I hurt real bad all over,  still have a little diarea probably from drinking coffee and an energy drink trying to motivate myself.  My self-esteme is wiped, depression is setting in and I sit and look at the pile of work customers have brought into my shop and can't get going on it to make the money to pay the bills.  I'll be 50 yrs old next year and not on disability.  So I turned to this website again.

4. I'm willing to hook up with a few people on here and work through our struggles together, I gave up on N.A. back in the 80's  I'd be willing to swap a cell phone and email in private with some for support.  Was why I tried to track down that vicki from two years ago.

[AnShiloh]

Are you telling me that you have been off tramadol for 7 weeks and are still finding it hard to exist?  I do not believe I can handle that.  Please let me know.  Thanks for contacting me.  I'm sorry I posted this on an old thread and caused you problems but I'm a 74 year old computer illiterate and appreciate your efforts. Thanks.

[buddycrunch]

Me again,  just wanted to add that I see my psychiatrist on november 16th.  Two of my kids know.

Also, I google tramidol and gabapetin alot and seen how addictive tramidol is yet not an opiate like hydro, etc   hmmmm    can't even really tell why my shrink threw in the gabapentin.  I think he is focusing more on the depression than pain.

Good luck to you.

[AnShiloh]

I am walking, doing a little yoga and using light weights.  Thanks for the input.

[buddycrunch]

Vicki,
OMG, I've been poking around on this website for two hours, found my 2 year old post and put a new post there ( [url]http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Please-any-advice/show/1263151[url/] )then tracked vicki to here.  

Shilo, we are in about the same boat.  I've gottalot of beans to spill about my last ten years.   Just last month i went to a shrink 150 miles from my town was totally honest with him, who agreed not to put me on opiates again.  He gave me a one time script of tramidol of 60 pills @ 50 mg that I am hoarding back, and a refillable script of gabapentin @ 300mg per day that I am taking.   7 weeks off oxy's and old pains are returned and terrible.

I'll save this thread to my favorites and stay in touch  

[cleanguy]

Great job on the clean time! Your wife is one wise woman! So glad you have the support!

[HappyDays2Come]

Hi Shiloh wow 14 days!!! That is fantastic!! Good for you for going to a meeting...I bet it's going to help you so much! Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. You're going to start feeling better in no time!! Great job!

[weaver71]

My wife dropped me off at a meeting to make sure I actually made it. I tried to walk around the building, but there she was. Sometimes I wonder why our loved ones put up with us. I'm glad they do, because my wife knows me better than I know myself. I'm so glad she didn't give up on me like I had. You won't regret talking with people who get where you are. Do what it takes, it will be so worth it. Listen to the people who love you and you will become more loveable.

[mary577]

Ah, good!  Listen to your wife!  I am glad you have the support of your wife.   It will help immensely..   Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[AnShiloh]

Thanks for your input and I will research this right away you people are fantastic.  Thanks so much.

[AnShiloh]

Thanks for your kind words and helpful info.  I really appreciate it.

[selfinduced]

Hello AnShiloh, The only thing I want to add is that for me exercise was the thing that helped me the most. I started with a brisk walk for the first week, then got into a heavier exercise routine. It just got things moving quicker. Also, fake it till you make it. Surrender to your situation and keep plugging along. Rejoice in the days you've not used and be excited to wake up tomorrow knowing another day is behind you. Before you know it, you'll be so excited to wake and see the sun shining and feel your old self again. Time is what you need. By the way.....CONGRATS ON 14 DAYS!!!

[YesLife4Me]

I looked up meetings yesterday on the internet and found the one I went to within the hour.   :)  

That being said, I have used tramadol as a filler (prescribed by Dr.) when I couldn't get the Norco I wanted.  Whenever I would run through the 30 he gave me (usually within 3 to 4 days max) I would have worse w/d from them than the Norco.   It does take longer to get those out of your system and the w/d is stronger.  Seems to me like I needed more of those to achieve the results I got from the Norco as well.  I haven't taken any of those in a couple months, so my w/d was from Norco only this time.   But trust me, I've w/d from all the pain meds and Tramadol and Methadone were the worst!  

[Ben727]

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear you're still suffering at day fourteen. My experience is with the opiate component of what you've been taking, and in my experience, by day fourteen, it should be getting easier. That being said, from what I've read here about Tramadol, there are other ingredients aside from opiates in Tramadol that can cause a difficult withdrawal. You are getting excellent advice on your post, and I also recommend you do the following: In the search bar at the top right, paste in the following text: "Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 54". This is a discussion about Tramadol specifically that may provide some additional support and benefit for you. Stick with it and you will get through this!

[AnShiloh]

You are as hard as my wife.  She said that I was going tomorrow and that is final.  Thanks for your strength.

[IBKleen]

Why are you waiting a week to go?

[AnShiloh]

Yes.  My wife has communicated with an AA,NA group and I plan to attend a week from tomorrow.  I do not use tobacco or alcohol and do not have a need for narcotics but plan to attend to get help and possibly give some I hope.  Thanks a lot

[YesLife4Me]

It also helped me to focus on anything positive whatsoever.  Even if it was a simple as 'hey, I made it this far and I'm doing something positive for myself".   When I start feeling down; jumping on here, reading about others stories and words of encouragement helped.   Try to stay active the best you can.  Do what your body will let you.   And I agree that if you can find a meeting to attend, surrounding yourself with people going through the same thing as you can make a huge difference in your day!   I went yesterday and am going again today.  Anything to get my mind off myself.   Hope that helps.

[AnShiloh]

Thanks for your words of encouragement.  I am still struggling on day 14 and not taking anything with any narcotics in it and will never do so again.  Thanks lots for your great response.

[IBKleen]

Have you considered attending NA or AA meetings? There you will find a lot of hope from people who are where you are or have gone before you. It is always a great place for support.

[AnShiloh]

Thanks for your post.  I am seeing a psychiatrist in a week but still am struggling  min. To min.   Any advice. Thanks a lot

[YesLife4Me]

Hi,

You took the hardest step, which was stopping and going through the w/d's.  Are you still having withdrawal symptoms or is it physical pain and depression that is getting to you at this point?   That is part of the process and is normal.  Your brain is trying to regulate itself since you have been feeding it what it needs to help you function.  Now you have taken that away and your brain needs to rebalance itself out and create the chemicals on it's own again.  2 weeks...great job!!!    The worst is behind you.  

[AnShiloh]

Thanks for the advice.  I'm on day 14 taking nothing with any type narcotic in it and still live min. To min.  Can you give me any advice or hope.  Thanks a lot.

[AnShiloh]

Thanks vicki595.  I have been on hydracodone 7.5 mg @ 3 a day and tramidol 50 mg. @ 4 a day for 8 years. But the last 18 months or so I have been abusing it by doubling that and not realizing I was now addicted, a druggie in fact.  I have had nothing with any type of narcotic in it for 14 days now.  I am really struggling to live min. To min.  I have an appointment with a psychiatrist nov. 1.  Can you give me any advice or hope..  Thanks a lot.