die really i could

[madcapo12]

lost and trying to fight my mind .... i dont know how you all did it the fight to stay clean .. i feel like a truck has hit me .... im am so scared of my self right now ... i feel like i could just die ... not that it cant be done ,,, crazy talk i know ....................... i cant do this anymore ..... 12:37 wed night .... its only been like hell .......... no last anything was yesterday morning .............. do i say f  it and and take a hand full .. couse i so could ........ im shaking so bad its hard to type and i have to fix almost every word i type it it worth it to even write this .......... idk any more about nothing ... my mind is turning on me ... to staay or go ...??????????????

[jeska]

shut the **** up *****.
that being said, my father had an addiction with alcohol and battles depression all his days. but i battled it as well so he and i understood each other on a very deep level. i was so sure our bond would never be broken. until one morning, i was 12 years old and attending my last day of school before christmas break at approx. 8:35 i felt something dissipate within my soul. a few hours later i was informed he had killed himself. at times i hate him for that. because he was a coward and a quitter and he left me here alone.
so if u have any family at all, go spend some ******* time with them, swallow your pride and enjoy them while u can and make them feel loved. and if family's not an option, i have chosen my own family in a friend or two.
KEEP GOOD ENERGY CARRYING INDIVIDUALS IN YOUR INNER CIRCLE AND ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER TO FOCUS ON POSITIVE OUTLOOKS AND CHOICES. YOUR LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. STOP DWELLING IN THE LULL OF DESOLATION AND GO LET THE SUNLIGHT SEEP INTO YOUR SKIN LIKE YOURE A NEWBORN ENJOYING MOTHERS MILK.
I treat many experiences like that. We can only help ourselves.

[newgirl2708]

keep posting...keep posting...stay here...like our friend Toxic says...one is too many one million is not enough....we are here for you!!!!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Keep hanging on. You can do this. The body and mind screams for more. Don't listen to it.

[Crispy]

take the mind and the body will follow i use that to this day.

[cathy5841]

i know right now you feel like dying.  i have been there.  i actually prayed god please let me doe.  but i promise once you have come through the detox you will see how worth it, the pain was to get free of this addiction.  i am almost 5 months clean and life is sooooo much better.  yes the detox is bad,,,but it is the only way to get your life back.  stick with it, you wont regret it.  i am here if you need to talk.  and breath like crispy said.
good luck and many prayers
cathy

[madcapo12]

im scard to get up
or move from this spot ... i really dont trust myself ...... wtf    ...i cant take it any more ......

[Crispy]

take 10 deep breaths in through your nose out through your mouth. Lets thinkg logically about this. Any time u feel anxious do the breathing exercise it releases toxins from your body and gives you a calm feeling. Getup right now go take a hot shower and put on some new clothes. Then come back sit down do some breathing exercises again and let me know how u feel.