still trying to be drug free

[littlebybe]

im going on 8 days clean today and i must say what a journey; i was quitting c/t. on the fourth day i felt so bad. i mean i was really going through it body aches and pains insomnia emotional and ANGER. im embarressed to admit that. i was so mad at my husband. my husband has 2 deteriorating discs in his back. he has a script for percocets and takes them only when in extreme pain. hes not like me. i became soo angry at him for not giving me one. i wanted to fight him. hes a retired boxer and there is no way i could ever over power him. thank god he has a gentle and loving side when it comes to me. i was acting like satan. he gave me a suboxen. i took them for a couple days. havent had any since friday.my question is when the sub's go out of my system will i go through w/d again and if so will i be starting all oner again? im feeling so much better now. if i have to do it i will. i just pray i wont.

[corey411]

First of all congratulations on day 8 or whichever day you want to call it. Believe me the thing about going back to day 1 has been contravercial on here. Try not to focus on that too much.Put all of your focus on your recovery.  After you have collected a few months and start to feel better those few days won't mean a thing.

I don't know much about Sub first handed. I have read posts that have said that it has a longer half life therefore takes longer to get out of your system and will take longer to feel withdrawls from. I've been 4+ months clean and I can tell you if I knew someone had drugs in my house, I would tear it apart like the tazmamiam devil and find them and take them. I am still not at the point where I could handle that and can only hope that someday I will be. Another member on here had her husband take them to work and lock them up.

Eight days is early. The physical wd is about 4-7 days. I was lucky, mine was day 4 each time.After the physical, I had a few days of feeling good. I've heard it called the pink cloud effect. It can really feel like it's all over. If it was that easy we wouldnt need this forum or NA or drug councelers. You really need to take it one day at a time. You will experience alot of good days and alot of bad days. Sometimes the good days were the days when I'd start to use." One more day using won't hurt"......Addiction says this to all of us to fool us into using again. We are still pretty much in early recovery for at least the first 6 months to a year. It does keep getting better though. You just have to be able to fight through those early months and know that it will be over and you will have joy. Kinda like being pregnant lol.

When I started using again that early it did set my wd back some. If you only used 1 day it shouldn't be that bad though. I will pray that you have the strength to fight this addiction and find joy and peace in recovery. GBU, Corey

[gizzy32]

I don't know a lot about sub, but wanted to say congrats on 8 days now, you came off a lot of pills. Those emotions are normal and boxer or not, i am sure when you are in that pill mode you could have kicked his ***, lol. Since he has that script will it make it harder for you to stay clean, does he have them hidden? If your feeling better now why don't you try to not take anything and see about some type of aftercare. Your physical is almost over, but the mental battle is what will be the toughest. What is it going to take for you to stay off them this time? You are doing great so make sure it stays that way. Congrats and good luck