to relapsers in hiding

[gizzy32]

well today i have been seeing a few people come out and say they have relapsed. to those of you who have come forward, i say hold your head high, and don't beat yourself up. although relapsing does not have to be a part of recovery, it does happen far too much. it has taken courage to admit falling, but the fact you are all still here and wanting help means this addiction has not beaten you, and you are willing to fight. when i relapsed i felt so guilty and so angry at myself, i would go on benders being up 3 days straight, just completely out of it so i didn't have to feel. the guilt was what made me give up and stop fighting.

i just want those that have relapsed and no longer visit us on here to come forward like these brave people have done today. you have all our support, and you must not give up. you must keep fighting even when your down. you can't do this ALONE>

BLOTOUTOFTHESUN, cmon man, we want you back on here, you have so much to offer, and you have helped so many. don't let this disease make you give up, cause i promise it is beatable, there are a lot of sucess stories and i have faith in you, please come back.

[gizzy32]

how about instead of saying i could make tomorrow my last pill, say IM GOING TO MAKE TOMORROW MY LAST PILL. there is a huge difference in wanting to and doing so. it is only you that can truly do this, but obviously you want to or you would not be here right. i understand that staying clean is different than being clean and in order to stay clean you need help. have you tried N/A or counselling? its hard but worth it to live well. i know you can do this.

[Imtired]

I wish I'd just admit that I can't beat this **** alone.  I've tried time and time again, and find excuses.  When I saw that Blot and Hops had said they relapsed I thought, well why not me again, and again. etc.  Thanks for coming back and telling me to wake up and stop feeling so sorry for myself. I honestly thought I was the one that just couldn't give it up, for whatever reason.  I love reading the posts about how wonderful life is without the pills.  I wish I could just believe it.  I've come so far with understanding, with the help of all the people here, about what and how to do to stop. I can't find the reason why yet.  And that's all my own fault.
Hops and Blot, I look forward to seeing your posts.  We came along about the same time and it is like seeing old friends when I get on here in the am.  I felt like I was letting everyone down by not staying sober. How do I find that umph to get it done?  and keep it done?  I'm sorry this is so long.  I'm having my own pity party right now.
I could make tomorrow my last pill again. But I just don't know how long it will last...

[gizzy32]

its crazy, your right hops it does feel like a family, but hey what family is not dysfuntional right.  its crazy how much love there is on this forum.  addicts are some of the most caring compasionate people, i have learned that from my few months on here.

[hopsing94]

Hey to anyone else,like gizzy said. Don't be ashamed,please. I noticed how slow it was Monday and Tuesday and I was thinking is it just me or did others relapse or what. If you did please don't hide. We can all get through this together. We are like one big dysfunctional family.

[hopsing94]

very nice gizz, I think he heard ya. Welcome back Chris.

[oxygirl487]

well said....i agree totally....great post!!!!