Dear hopeless , I too have a tragedy that I believed was the reason I used and thru treatment I have been able to find sobriety. Get a counsoler(sp) who specializes in addiction as well as treatment the phone book should guide you just fine . For me it basically came down to this: I had two choices I could stay on the path of drinking and useing because of what happened
Or I could thrive and really live in spite of what happened. So because of ? Or in spite of? I will tell you that no matter which you choose it will not be easy however one will lead to jail an institution or death and the other will be a regaining of yourself and fullfilment. And of course the choice is yours. If you find you have choosen poorly choose choose again. When my pain was the worst I stopped moving and was stuck for years now I know when it's true he// that's when I have to keep on going if for no other reason than to get to the other side. Moments of pain I want to end as so as possible. It's the moments teaching my son to whistle that I want to last for ever. You see what I mean? I didn't mean to ramble but your post spoke to my heart, hope it helps
Becca
I never discourage people from going to a treatment place if they can. My dad, one sister, aunt and I are all alcoholics. I went to several rehabs and would reccomend them all. Hina Mauka on Ohau HI was a 6 month live in when I was there. Unfortunatly they are outpatient now. But there are 1000s in america I would think. I never paid for any of them. I went to the VA rehab in Albany N.Y and now I think that's not a live in either. IN FACT I believe I was the only women to ever complete that live in rehab. But I did use opiates for 8 years after I was sober 8 . I'm sure I knew from day 1 I was bsing myself that I wasnt losing my soberity. I HAD A SUBSCRIPTION !!!! I did know because I stopped going to AA meetings and I had been a 2 meeting a day person for years. The meetings and this forum can get you through or go to rehab. Either way GOOD DECISION !!!! to get clean.
I would recomend that you go to a treatment center. I too grew up with a mother who was an alcoholic plus she abused prescription drugs. My father had some similar issues as well. I too know the cost of addicition and fortunately have never gone there but I am tempted but fight the urge.
Addiction is tough to beat so get professional help if it is an option. They will work with you. Right now a good friend of mine is 17 days free of Loratabs that he has ben on for 3 years. He has sought professional help. They will develop a treatment plan to hold you accountable.
Stay in touch and best of luck to you. Let me know if I can help you in any way.