treatment

[RastaP]

I really think i need to go to treatment... i have some questions for those who have been.  How do you find a place first of all.. how do i know if i need to go.  how do they  determine if you need inpatient or outpatiient treatment. It sounds scary.  So do you like go and do you sign your life away.. like what happens if you **** up... do you have to be clean to leave.. are you stuck there. I know i shouldnt think of these things i should be more positive.  I wanna just escape this whole deal.  I am just getting so messed up i can't even do anything... i spend soo much money on it all. so much,,, i dont work as much because.. i',m litterally always sick. either i have a cold or my stomach hurts so bad.  I keep doing more more and more drugs.. eventhough i want to stop so bad. so so so so bad. i wanna feel healthy i dont want to feel like **** i haven't eatin a thing since sunday except pot brownies its painful.. i dunnno whay could be wron i know its from my partying habbits i know it.  And  yesterday we spend all our money on drugs didn't save any money for food.. only had booze and brownies again. wtf is wrong with me. I am moving in the opposite place i want to be. It seems like the more i want to be clean... the more drugs i do and the father i fall into this trap.. and also also i have some 47 bruise i counted themm yes that is alot.. i dont think i fell or ny thing because they're everywhere espcially my legs and hips. does that have something to do with drug abuse what would it be from.. its really scaring me and it's painful to have anything touch me.  I think i'm dieing or crazy.. and everyone here thinks i'm crazy.. eveyone around me too.. I feel so so so lost so lost. i wanna cry now but i cant cry.. why? please give me some tips about treatment.. like what to they do... how does it work. i am so terrified right now. for my life. i am i am out of control seriously out of control.. i need to talk please i might need to do something about this

[RastaP]

I am so scared.. and sad.. so sad. Sometimes i think that its pointless to even try. I feel like i'm just going to die.. I'm so worried and disappointed in myself. it is unbarable..  i dont even know what to do. i told my parents i don't want them to help me. they make me feel embarrased about it.. because i made these choices and i'm the only one that can change myself.. i just feel like i cam absloutley out of contol. I can't stand that feeling. and soooooo much for ballet i quit. i just want someone that will listen to me and understand me.. i dont understand me at all.. i feel so stupid. I really don't ike myself. i do when i'm high.. and i got so messed up yesterday.. and most of today that right now i feel disgusting... I think i'm hungover.. or i ate too much pot. i have to throw up but i cant i cant i'm soooooooo angryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so angry with myself

[gizzy32]

Hi Rasta. I have never been to rehab, but some here have and will give you advice. I did take a tour through out the rehab center and went to some N/A meetings there and I was surprised how comfortable they made me feel there.

I know I am blunt on your posts sometimes, but you really do need help and it's getting worse as you have said. What makes quitting so hard is surrendering, that is accepting your completely powerless and seek some type of treatment. Our addictions will fight us with all it has so we dont' get help, it wants to keep you sick and getting help WILL make you better. I have said this to you on almost all your posts, talk to your parents. If they don't understand addiction, then ask them to come on here so ya'll can come up with a plan on what is best for you to get better. You need to do this girl, it's life or death. Surrendering will give you life, now go get it. We are rooting for you!

[outotown]

I didnot go to rehab on my own I kinda just woke up there, mine was short term, I was scared to death but became very comfortable really quick. But there is people that have been in long term 60-90 days that can tell you more. I didnot mind it at all I knew it could be life changing. Good Luck Too You