valium, xanax

[Likewise1971]

Hello all,

Short introduction of myself, I am an expat living and working in Thailand, spend 18 months in Rwanda as paratrooper in real war, during the slaughtering between hutu's and tutsis. Now this is almost 20 years ago and never had any issues with it.

Now recently I started getting awful nightmares, serious mood swings, aggressiveness for no obvious reason, suicidal thoughts..... So about a month ago I started taking valium since I had bad experiences with xanax, serious withdrawl issues. No the problem with both valium and xamax is that they make me kinda crazy, once I have taken my 10 mg valium, at first I feel a little relaxed but then after an hour or so I start to act weird, I start putting things in places and of course the day after can't find them anymore, my mind starts getting manic, I feel like I want to do  all sorts of things that I normally wouldn't do ? I'm not gettting it because I thought it would relax me but it does that only for an hour and then I turn manic....

Years and years no mental problems, my life currently is very good, financially pretty sound, living in the tropics, house with beach view and so on. Sooooo, what is the dang problem in my mind and why isn't the valium calming me down ???
Every day is getting more and more difficult to cope with !
Hopefully somebody can get me some advice because Thailand is not really ready for psychologists and psychiatrists, outhere they still have the idea that someone with a mental issue is just plain crazy in their point of view.
Anyhelp or info much appreciated.
John.

[margypops]

you are welcome have you looked at the PTSD forum

[Likewise1971]

Thanks all,

Because I'm feeling like someone who is losing control...... I will surely look into the books and have a look online about the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction.

Thanks all, and may we all feel better soon.
Rgds
John

[Likewise1971]

Hi there,

Thanks for the info, I will surely look into the advice you gave me. It might be possible that it has something to do with the past, example : firecrackers are going off and I duck like I used to 20 years ago back in Kigali/Rwanda. What I find strange is that I have never experienced this, only now this started. I would have thought that my mind had already dealt with those war issues.

Rgds
John

[margypops]

hi I see they moved you here ...good luck

[margypops]

I think you will find some good folks can help you on the substance abuse forum..and the great info iboogie has put up is a help ...I also think it maybe PTSD you are suffering from .Take a browse through the forums they may help you ...

[lboogie7729]

Are you familiar with PTSD? I ask because it is entirely possible that what you were dealing with 20 years ago, still needs to be dealt with. From what you are saying, it's very possible that you're dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I say this because I have it (not war related) and I have severe anxiety and depression. Look up MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) online. I have been getting into meditation and yoga and reading Jon Kabat-Zinn's book "Full Catastrophe Living". It is incredible the things that come up for people when they learn how to 'get still' and tap into what's going on internally. I have been on benzo's myself. Not a huge fan of xanax. I'm now on a generic for Klonopin. Not impressed with that either. But within a week of getting into guided meditation, on top of my yoga classes, therapy, journaling (I am throwing myself into this) I have felt dramatic changes. I won't go on and on, just thought I would mention a few things worth looking into that I feel have helped me tremendously.
Thailand is on my bucket list!