I feel like relapsing

[catlover8]

I am so bored and sad. I feel like getting some pills to kill both the boredom and the sadness. Almost 60 days today. I started using because when I got married, my husband never let me do anything. He wants to stay home all the time. So, I got high to take away the boredom. Now, I am feeling exactly like that again. Bored and so sad and nothing to do and like I just want to use. I just needed to say that.

[troubleinohio]

your name implies youre a cat lover...how about getting involved in Cat Rescue? Could you do fostering? or volunteer at a shelter or something like that? Im sure that would be fun and rewarding for you?

[taperme]

Do you like to cook? Read? Photography? Knit? These are all things you can do around the house that would occupy your mind. Maybe something online? You could sign up to do some surveys or something and maybe even make a little money. What does your husband NOT like you doing? Does he object to you leaving the house? I find when I am getting down that getting out and just going for a ride or getting a coffee can really clear my mind. Also just getting the to-dos off of my list helps as well and makes me feel more productive and all around better. By the way...good job on the 60 days as well as reaching out here!

[kc156]

maybe a job to go to would help,if you dont work yet.            Karl

[gnarly_1]

Hey Cat congrads on 60 days and your right about it being one of the breaking points for a lot of addicts...you need to take your thoughts captive is this rational??? or is it the addict in me....first its just a thought....then it becomes an obsession then an obsession
turns into an action...you need to break your train of thought b/4 it becomes a problem
this is what I learned in substance abuse consoling ..it seams to work if you try it
put on some music and get lost in it for a wile...go out for a walk and enjoy the spring
now that your clean look into an old hobby you use to do b/4 drugs took over...I like
fishing for example also my daughters invite me to go hiking with them in the many mountain parks around phoenix....you just got to start doing things to keep yourself bizzy the cravings or thoughts will go away I remember getting them like crazy at around 60 days now at 158 its rare but I still have my days....just hang in there
using wont solve your problems....also I see a substance abuse conslor once a week to vent ...it helps a lot and if I crave im off to an N/A meeting use the resources around you...you got to much time invested now to break down and fall
stay strong...keep posting and good luck and God bless....Gnarly  

[helps02]

yea, I know what you mean about boredom. I've only been clean 3 days (with the help of Suboxone) and not really myself yet.  Infact found myself in rage today and since my husband left early this morning (space was needed) I now find myself bored.  I started cleaning and when I was done with that I actually picked up my son's coloring book and started coloring.  I must have colored enough pages that when he got home from school today he said "Mom, you used up my whole book! are you gonna buy me a new one?"" I just kinda laughed.  Now i'm looking for something else to do, maybe I'll bake a cake or something...

[vicki595]

Hey Cat !!    I'm sorry you're going through this...you're right,the pills could always fill the void in our lives.  But,it was fake and we were fake while on them.  But,I do understand.  I've been there...Hang out on the forum for a while. Maybe post something on the social side and we'll all have a good laugh!!  Cheer up!
Vicki  xo

[catlover8]

I don't have any sources either, so I guess someone is trying to tell me something. I calmed down a little from the last post. This is going to sound childish, but when I was in college, I went out and had fun and my life was so full of friends and good times. I looked forward to the weekend becsue I knew the fun it would hold. Now, all I know is that Friday, Saturday and Sunday mean the same thing as Monday Tuesday and Wednesday. I do nothing different. I still go to bed at 9 and wake at 6. I clean. I sit. I watch TV. My mom used to shop with me and stuff, but she is really sick with cancer, so I don't even have her to hang with anymore. I go over to her house, but she can't leave. I have lost all my friends for pills, so I don't really have anyone to call for interaction. I have one very important friend, but he has to work on Saturdays and he is not much for fun. Watch TV or video games. I am over the relapsing thing. Fleeting moment. I feel like I won't do that, but I wish I could have a happy weekend doing fun things not work this weekend. I guess I am on my own. Thanks guys. I needed you all. Charetti, I am glad I am not the only one feeling like this. TV cannot be life. There has to be more.

[Charetti]

You have no idea how helpful your post is. I am 62 days clean and I am struggling with the same thoughts. Perhaps this is a vulnerable time in our recovery. I think about it daily for the past few weeks but fortuneately I dont have any easy sources for pills.  I am sticking with it and asking the universe for extra help these days.

[micheleTX]

Hi Sophie, I feel like you should have a name like "Sun shine", you are like a big ray of sunshine all the time.  So positive!  You are just a sweetheart and Im so glad you are here :)  Just wanted to say that...you make me feel like smiling all the time, and I do that already lol...anyway, off topic here.  Just had to throw that in here.
You will feel  better catlover.  But you really need support right now too...It took me at least 60 days to start feeling right again mentally, maybe longer! Good luck to you and God Bless!

[SophieShine]

Hey there girl!
DON'T!!! You are so gonna regret it...
You did VERY good by reaching out...
If I'm completely honest I don't really like the idea of your husband wanting you to stay home but I guess that's another debate...Why don't you find a hobby you can do at home? It takes a while for our brain to adjust and to "feel like" doing something but believe me your enthusiasm is gonna come back.
Hang in there for now, rooting for you here.
Sending you strength. xoxoxo. sophie.

[micheleTX]

Hello catlover :)  When you used the pills, did it take away that boredom and sadness?  Just curious.  If you are sad you need to figure out why.  You said he never lets you do anything, what do you mean by that?  Are you a stay at home mom or what??  Also did it take away the boredom?  I would like more information, because those seem like underlying problems maybe??  There are so many things you can do to ease boredom (I think anyway), and why are you sad all the time?  Why won't he let you do anything??  Please give more information, maybe we can work from there :)