what is my next step

[20yrmonkey]

I'm just about off Methadone I've been on it for about 20 years now and I am done with it I want off NOW I have cut myself fairly quickly but really havent been to sick I went from 120mg per day down to 60 mg so I cut myself in half and I stayed there for 3 months after my body ajusted to that amount I cut myself in half again to 30 mg I stay there until my body adjusted and the went to 25mg for two weeks and then to 20mg when I cut myself to 20 I found it much more difficult than any of the other times and to get past this I did it in two doses 10 mg in the morning and 10 mg before bed I found if I did the full 20 mils in the morning by bedtime I was sick and could n't sleep but if I cut it in half and did it in two I was fine. I'm still not completely adjusted to 20 mgs a day but I'm now taking it all at once I also am trying to take 20 one day and then 15 the next so that instead of taking 140mg a week I'm taking about 100 mg a week. I don't know what my next step shoud be I've been contemplating just going cold turkey but I don't think that I can do that because I still have a 12 yr old daughter at home and I have birds that need attention and caring for on a daily basis. I don't take anyother drugs and haven't since I've been on Methadone i don't drink either. I just want to get off this **** and I'm not sure how to go down any further how slow do I have to go for this last 20mg does anybody know  20y rmonkey

[sadinmichigan]

the only thing you can do is go down the 5mg and see how you feel,,but wait at leat a week or more to really know before you cut it again..I think 5 is alot at this point but you can always add a mg or 2..as for telling your dr..my own opinion is NOT..I was so happy to have walked out of that clinic for the last time and I didn't tell anyone..i just never showed up again..good luck ..

[20yrmonkey]

I almost forgot to mention that I'm doing this on my own I haven't told my Doctor yet that I'm planning on getting off. Doyou think I should tell him or just wait until I'm off and just don't show up anymore. My Doctors a complete jerk I make an appointment to see him at 10 am and most of the time he doesn't even show up at the office until 11am or later then he keeps me waiting for about three hours. I have to drive 60 Km to see him It cost me 30 dollars in gas to go there and back. He has no respect for us at all He think because we have an addiction we don't have lives so what else do we have to do except sit around his office until he decides he going to see us. I really feel we deserve better than this after all we are the ones putting food on his table. he has 50 meth paitiants and charges each of us 60 dollars a month and then he gets another 28 dollars from BC medical so he's definatly not hurting he also is a pain specalist so he has pain patiants as well. I don't think he deserves to be imformed of my withdrawl I just want to be a fly on the wall when one day I just don't show up..LOL  do you think I should tell him or not?  

[20yrmonkey]

I just want to get rid of this awful monkey on my back. I get my methadone in liquid form 1mg of juice = 1mgof methadone. I get it in apple tang. it makes it easy to measure. I'm ready to cut myself again I want to go down by 5 mg to 15mg a day do you think that may be to fast at this point or should I just go for  it and see what happens I really don't want to be to sick. I have to work on friday night and even though I don''t have a hard job I still have todo alot of driving and running in and out of differnt places. I'm a persona courrier and sometimes it can be quite stressful when its exteremly busy and of course I work the busiest nights because I make the most money then. Like I said I have a busy life its not like I can just lay around and be sick I haven't got time for that. But because I am so busy It doesn't give my time to think about weather I'm sick or not so I don't dwell much on the fact that I'm going through  withdrawl the only time that I have to let it even cross my mind is when I'm laying in bed at night. and When I first wake up in the morning I notice that I have a bit of anixity that is the worst feeling.  once I start getting on with my day that usually passes. I really want to be off this **** by my birthday which is Aug. 10th do you think I'll be able to do it by then.

[Penelope14]

I can relate to your situation, I detoxed off of methadone, 90mgs for 5 years was what I was on & I tapered very slow, it took almost a year & thier were times when It got ugly, especially when I got under 5mgs, then down to 0mg, but after a certain amount of time, it starts getting better. I also had my hands full during my detox, I had a job that I have been at for 7 years, { that I thought I was gonna lose as I felt so bad }, I had two kids who were a handful, & had wants & needs as most kids do, but somehow I managed. I think we as addicts, fear the unknown, I used to future trip alot when I was on 5mgs of methadone, I had a million fears of what had not happened yet, worrying about how awful I might feel, looking back I now realize this was only setting me up for failure, so try to be as positive as you can, take it day to day & at your own pace. I have known many people to get off methadone & all of them go thru some kinda withdrawals, some mild, some not so mild, but at the end of the day, they like myself, got better, & you will to. Penelope

[kk143]

Hey there and welcome as well...I may be the one that she was talking about...I was taking appx 15mg when I started to taper myself...I had one fingertip of powder from a 10 mg tablet left this morning and I feel pretty good, it is hard to give you an exact amount because it is so little.. it just seems to make since to me to get as low as humanly possible and that's what I have done...so far it has been liveable ...I did it very slow and I was fine...the first couple days I went down from 2.5 to 1mg i really felt it but still I functioned and did all my normal things, I did want to go back for more but I knew if I did the next day would be worse.  I made a table and scheduled myself...it took a lot of will power which has never been my strong suit...imagine that...but I just wanted it(to be free) so bad i wouldn't give in...I didn't have any anxiety med like a lot of the others and I have been okay...I did start taking a lot of vitamins and trust me they are a must...also sleep will become an issue once you get down really low...I tried everything and now am resorting to calling my doctor for something stronger...read all the info you can off the health pages...it really explains it good and has been a very big help...I suggest you stay here on this forum as much as you can...it gives you the will power to get through some rough times and there are such loving supportive people here it has been a blessing like no other...we all know how you feel and admire anyone who wants to stop this horrible cycle...you can write me anytime, maybe this has helped ...always, Karie

[sadinmichigan]

it is hard to say what kind of w/ds you are going to experience with the last 10%..how much is that? You have gotten down this far..so i would just keep going until your done..i have 6 children and could not take care of them when i went off 65mg..thankfully i had alot of help.so I understand that..but i think if you go cold turkey off even 5-10mg..you are not going to feel good especially after is is out of your system completely..and yes..it is mental..But having gone through methadone w/d myself..it was pure physical for the first few weeks..

[20yrmonkey]

My problem is I can't be sick I have huge responsabilitys I still have a 12 yr old and a job I can't just lay around and be sick but I find when i'm busy I don't dwell on the fact that I 'm coming off something difficult I cut myself in 1/2 three times and was'nt sick. I really beleive that 90% of withdrawall is in your head if you can over come that the physical is all you have left to deal with but to cut myself cold I don't know how bad that 10% is going to be can anybody enlighten me

[sadinmichigan]

I also would like to congratulate you on such a task.Methadone is a very powerful drug and is so hard to get off of..I think you are a very strong person to have been on it so long and cut your dose in 1/2..I could hardly handle going down 3 mg..but i did end up going cold turkey at 65mg..not fun..anyway..The last bit is always the hardest..i would just continue to taper ,but maybe a little more slowly and then go cold turkey at 1 mg..there is a girl here who is just about to go cold turkey (or already has) at 1 mg after tapering herself down..she was on it for @ 10 yrs..You can do this..it sounds like you really want it and after tapering that much i would say so..and that is the most important thing..take care

[joann1975]

Hi there...welcome to the forum....I don't know much about methadone. I wanted to welcome you to the forum and bump this to the top. Someone will be along later in the morning that can help you with this .... sorry for the delay!

JoAnn