So scared

[scaredoutofmymind333]

After being free from addictions for 3 years, I have developed a addiction to very high doses of vicodin. (DS-over thirty a day) Last year I had a minor heart attack and I am very afraid to cold turkey. Do I need to go to inpatient detox? Nobody in my life right now knows of my addiction...I am coming clean with them tonight and wondering if I need to plan on going to a hospital for detox? Please, any advice would be appreciated.

[scaredoutofmymind333]

Thank you so much Andrew.....your words and encouragement really hepled me get through the day yesterday. I told the rest of my family this morning and while they are very shocked, they are also being very supportive. I am very lucky on that end. Before I get too self consumed with the pain of WD let me congratulate you on your 32 days of not taking pills. You have become a source of inspiration for me. Thank you

[FassFeat]

I am so Happy and Proud that you had the courage to go through with it last night. I am also glad to hear that your BF is the real deal (you probably knew that but was just doubting) This is great news. I don't know about hospital detox, but I do think that oxy WD are probably worse than Vicoden WD. Regardless, given the mild heart attack, hospital is a wise choice. You are on the rght path... Sending you some positive vibes.. God Bless, Andrew

[scaredoutofmymind333]

Just a quick ? for anyone that has detox'ed in a hospital, What should I expect? Is it any better than WD/CT at home?

[scaredoutofmymind333]

Told him last night. You are right, I feel so much better. I was totally honest about everything and answered every question with complete honesty. He was great. He was shocked when I told him that I wouldn't blame him if he left me! He told me it would take alot more than that to lose him. He was shocked, like your wife and had no clue. He didn't notice any personaility change, but we have both been working long hours the last few weeks and not seeing much of each other. He called his sponsor for advice and I called someone and asked them to be my sponsor. He held me and told me that everything will be fine and he will stand by my side through all of it.  I will be going to the hospital today when he gets home from work to start my detox. The detox hospital here will not let you call and find out if they have openings in detox, you have to go and wait and see, however they will admit you if you have an underlying medical problem, in a general floor until a space in detox opens. That is also scaring the crap out of me. I have been through WD, CT about 3-4 yrs ago, from very high prescribed doses of oxycodone and I remember praying to die because I was so uncomfortable. I am dreading that. But then again I have been so miserable through this addiction that I am looking foward to being drug free again! Again I am so glad I found this community. I will keep you updated and I know I will be spending long sleepness nights here soon. Thank you everyone, for everything

[FassFeat]

Let us know how it goes. I know it is hard, but you will feel better getting it out. Good luck

[scaredoutofmymind333]

bf is on his way home. Part of me wants to wait 1 more day to come clean with him. (I have been doing the 1 more day thing for 2 weeks now!) I am so scared, so ashamed. I dont even know how to start the conversation. I am also terrified of the WD that will be starting soon. Been having heart palpatations all day. Sorry, just needed to vent. Thanks again for the advice and help

[LeaAnn807]

If he is a recovering alcoholic, you might be surprised what he knows! : )  Just be honest.  He may actually be relieved that he hears the truth from you!

[scaredoutofmymind333]

Thank you for that encouragement. I am sure he knows something is "up", and has no clue what it is. Your words will help me get through the day, and again, I thank you. God Bless and you have a great day too!

[tommm70]

WD's will spike your blood pressure, so make sure you see a doctor before you stop. Opiate WD is usually not life threatening unless you have an underlying condition, which you have already spoke of.
You might be surprised when you talk tonight, love goes a long way in these situations. Your bf being an addict (alcohol) himself should make him understanding. I still say only an addict knows what it is like to be an addict.

Good luck to you!

[FassFeat]

If he is like my wife was, when I told her, she already knew something wasn't right just by the way my personality had changed. She was shocked by the truth but unwavering in support. I remember after day five of my detox, she woke up smiling and said she was glad to have her husband back. I think he will be relieved. Have a great day. God Bless

[scaredoutofmymind333]

As for calling my doc and getting a plan, he also knows nothing of this addiction, and I am not under his care right now for anything. My boyfriend, that I live with, is a recovering alcoholic and he is the one I am coming clean with tonight. He has done a few detox's in his life, and I am sure he will try to get me into one. I hope he stays by my side through this, but I cant blame him if he doesn't, this is not what he signed up for! I will lose my job over this. He will however, no matter what his decision is regarding us, make sure that I am safe while going through it. He is a good person. It is going to be hard to get through this day knowing that I will be breaking his trust, heart, etc. when we talk tonight, yet I cant live like this anymore. I thank everyone for thier quick responses...it helps to get advice, encouragement, etc from people that have been there. Thank you again

[FassFeat]

I would at least discuss with your Dr., thats what I did even though I am relatively healthy. I went cold turkey off of about the same amount you are on. I also was alone, no one close to me knew I had a problem. I told my wife and we went to my family Dr. who delivered our children (ages 16 and 20). I was embarrased but he wasn't judgemental and prescribed me Clonidine which helps with alot of the WD symptoms. I also looked at the health pages on top right corner of the home page on this site and used some of the supplements in Thomas Recipe and the Amino Acid protocol. Given the fact that you have had a heart attack, I think it would be advisable to see a Dr. before doing anything drastic. I do think you should quit, whichever way is healthy for you. Today is day 31 for me and honestly the physical WD only lasted 3-5 days. There were some lingering effects that lasted about 2 weeks for me, but the worst was over in 3 days. Welcome to the forum and please stick around, you will get alot of support here. This forum helped me (continues to help me) more than anything because everyone here is in the same boat and will not judge, only offer advice and encouragement. good luck and God Bless. Andrew

BTW, coming clean with those close to you is a wise decision.

[LeaAnn807]

Hey, I was thinking after I posted.....could you call your doctor today and maybe go talk with them before you talk to your family?  That way you would have a plan in place when you talk, and it won't be so stressful???  The doctor might also want you to start doing something at home before you go to detox if that's what he recommends.  

[scaredoutofmymind333]

Thank you everyone for your quick responses! It is so greatly appreciated and I am very gald I found this forum....I am sure it is going to help me with all the sleepness nights I KNOW that are going to start very soon.

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  You definitely need to get with a doctor on this.  With the heart attack, however minor, you shouldn't take a chance with it.  I would recommend inpatient for a few days to monitor your vitals and give you the proper meds.    

I'm glad you're doing this!  Hang in there and keep us posted!

[Cissy373]

I would either go to a hospital or before I start the detox discuss it with my doctor and let him/her help you to get off the pills.

Try not to be scared and good luck.