Alcohol Abuse

[Ste8049]

If you look at my past posts, I have been dealing with neurological issues for some time now. I have been very depressed about everything, from having to quit nursing to my inability to work and drive. During this time, I have been turning to alcohol to kind of deal with my problems, not such a good idea, I know!!! It hadn't seemed to be a problem until last night. A group of my friends, including my boyfriend, went out for my birthday. After a couple of hours of drinking, I completely blacked out!! The amount of alcohol I consumed was an amount that I am usually able to handle with no problem, but I don't remember anything for at least a 3 hour time span. While at the bar, my boyfriend and I got into a verbal fight and I ended up getting extremely violent. I punched him in the head multiple times and almost got arrested. I also picked a fight with a couple of my friends, who are also mad at me. My boyfriend wants nothing to do with me and thinks I need to get help. I will admit, I do drink almost every night. Whether it's 1 beer or 10. Normally it's a 6 pack or less. Today when I woke up, I scheduled an appointment with a psychologist at my college, but I am going to have to wait a week and a half for my appointment. In the mean time, I have decided to quit drinking all together, like I mentioned earlier, it is my birthday and I'm sitting at my house by myself. I feel horrible for my actions and want to make things right. I am wondering if anyone can tell me why I got so drunk and violent, it was very out of character for me to do what I did. Also I'm wondering if anyone knows about any free help offered for alcohol abuse and/or couples help. I don't want to lose my boyfriend, he is the love of my life and I need to get better. I feel like my other problems, as well as the depression has played a large role in this. I really need help, right away and don't have the money to pay to get help. Please somebody help me!!! If anyone has any advise about my alcohol use or how to deal with what I have done to my boyfriend please respond!!! I am so depressed and need advise ASAP!!

[rixsta]

your only 22,when i was that age i had a serious drinking problem,i started heavy drinking from the age of 15 ,up til the age of 24 i drank and made an idiot of myself all the time ,i lost freinds and respect in my family,till one day somthing in my head said geez im getting tired of this no one likes me anymore so i opened up to an old man who diddnt know me too well who worked in a factory near my job ,we sorta seen each other around.i said "hey mate ,i got a serious drinking problem,i want to stop,any suggestions"he simply said to me "well ,stop "im 42 years old now and since that day i only ever drink rarly 2-5 times a year and in moderation,well thats my 2o cents worth for you,i cant say much though if its a neuro problem thats making you drink.good luck mate and take care.

[lboogie7729]

Great advice Nikita.
Ste8049, I'm coming up on one year sober. I don't do meetings, but I've been seeing a counselor at my old university once a week, coming to this website and another one called SOS. Google it, they have a women's online group and it is a great resource. It's amazing how many woman from all over the world go there to offer support, advice and hope for one another and you may be surprised to hear you have things in common with us. I post more on here, and tend to read more on there. But these are two great websites where you can almost always find someone to talk to if you are feeling down, struggling with cravings, have questions etc.

[freenikita]

There are SMART recovery, women for recovery, practical recovery and many other organizations that offer Non AA group meetings and which philosophies and approaches differ from AA. Google "non AA group meetings" and I am sure you're going to find something around where you live. Just a piece of advise and really just that because I know some people can quit their addictions at once and on their own: what I know and what I see: they are not many and at the beginning, doing it alone might actually be even more difficult than it already is. You are young. Try to remember that the younger u deal with this issue, the healthier and happier your life will be. Forgive yourself, leave the boyfriend alone for a while. What he saw was simply not you. And if he truly cares, he will want to come back for the real you. If he does not, time for you to move on. (unless u 2 r already back together as I see that the post is an older one... If the case, don't forget that your sobriety is priority right now.)

You've got your life to live, girl! You need support,
understanding and compassion. You might have offended some people that night. The way you described it, it was not a pretty site. Ok, I think it is fair to say that most of us here have had a similar experience of public embarrassment... Apologize to the ones who were present and u might finally realize who your true friends are: the ones who will forgive and be there to support you.
Personal notes: I have found great help from seeing a Therapist and from educating myself as much as I could on the subject of addiction and related topics. You could maybe organize a non AA group meeting at your school. I am pretty sure that you are not the only student who's got some drinking problems and who surely would welcome a support system such as the one you could offer.... Exercising is key, remember! Great for triggers or getting rid of them, stress reliever, and of course for the purely healthy part of it. Don't forget too that by taking the road you are taking now, you are avoiding serious health issues that long term abuse kindle.
Best,
Nikita

[sudie58]

i hope your doing ok, and managing to stay off the drink, was wondering if you thought anymore about AA, i know the depression is so awful, post and let us know, look after yourself , keep safe, sudie

[sudie58]

hi, i think you meant this for STE8049,   im sorry to hear of your pain and problems, good luck with your progress and your psychologist, best wishes sudie

[dggbf]

I am currently going through the same ordeal and I would say, stop drinking get a psychologist and find out where the rage came from. Also forget the boyfriend for now yes it hurts but it will be much better when you know yourself and know what your triggers are and how to handle them. Sounds like great advice I just wish I had taken it. I lost the love of my life, feel into depression, sat home on my birthday by myself and speak with none of my friends.
Right know I'm sort of ok with that, I've realized that I need to take care of me right now and make sure my life is in order before I beg, wine and grovel to get her back. I know your asking yourself who was that person that did that? For me I still can't answer that 3 months later. I do know that I had a million issues brewing inside of me and I used alcohol to suppress it, dumb move, it didn't work out very well.
My psychologist is helping me slowly but surely, i thought he could wave a magic wand and I could be fixed but I have years of untreated life problems to unravel before I can even think about moving forward with any relationship. Each time I meet with him he opens up a whole new can of worms for me to think about and work on.
Stay away from drinking, don't worry about anything but you getting better.

[rpooo]

Its very good to know your on the right track. It sure sounds like you have the potential of becoming an alcohoic so you will need to always monitor how much you drink. I am guessing that the bad night you experienced was probably brought on by drinking large amounts of liquor very quickly. That can certainitly lead to a bad night for just about anyone. If thats was not the case then you really should stop drinking. Although there is also the mystery of "did someone put anything in your drink"

Quitting drinking is surely the best idea but since your young I can only assume that at some point you'll be tempted with an option to drink perhaps at a wedding or some other type of social. When doing so remind yourself how liquor affects people and just stick to something light and maybe only have a couple then move on to soda/water.

The depression can easily be help by meeting with your doctor so that he/she can make a professional judgment on weather meds are needed. Medicine these days is amazing at helping with depression and anxiety. Always remember that these problems are better resovled with out the use of meds.

I truely wish you the best and do what you have to inorder to get you nursing carreer going again. Think of it this way, when you stopped drinking, you just fixed half the problem! :)

[Ste8049]

Sudie,

I have stopped drinking for 2 days now. My anxiety level about the recent events has gone down some, but I still do feel depressed. I have had urges to drink, but have not caved. I never in my life want to act like that again!!! I really do enjoy drinking, but sometimes I do take it overboard and end up hurting the people I love. I have decided to stop drinking all together, which I haven't experienced any withdrawal symptoms other than mild cravings. I need to learn that I can't solve my problems with drinking and I think that the way in which I acted was a major wake up call!!!! My appointment to see the psychologist is through my school and is a free service to me. I just have to wait until two Tuesday's from now. And this next week I am going home for spring break to my family, who also know about the situation.. I feel like I am taking the right steps for now.I am going to look into other programs, but I also feel like the fact that I have dealt with this in such a good manor for the past 2 days, without withdrawal, that I can mostly do it on my own. Thank you for your response. I will keep you updated on my progress. Also, I am keeping a tracker on this website for my drinking.

Thanks again!!!!

[sudie58]

i really think this has been a huge wake up call for you! alcohol can never help solve anything, as im sure you know.  it is a depressive ,so it only makes it worse,  if you have been drinking regulary, you have to be careful of just stopping dead, as you dont want to have fits.  can you not get a drs appointment?  aa is free, you can get all the help you need there, perhaps you could phone them for some immediate advice? you doneed help and you do need to stop drinking, its good you realise that. good luck, i am sure you will get more advice here too.  sudie