Is this for Real? Alcholic doesn't remember buying alcohol.

[mandyisme]

My friend who we have recently discovered is an alcoholic but kept it a secret for years claims she doesn't remember buying alcohol?  I know people have black outs where they may not remember what happened after they got intoxicated but what about before?  Or is she just messing with my head?  I mean she seems to remember everything else like paying her bills, etc but has no recolection of obtaining or buying alcohol.  What do you think?  And she and I have been close for years and I never knew she was an alcoholic.  How was that possible?   Granted, I didn't see her everyday but usually several times a week.  She did seem a little more outgoing than most parents our age.  I never smelled anything or nothing.  

[rod44]

In the past when drinking I forgot some things, this was an everyday thing at the end of my drinking. One time i went to a bar near my home, I woke up in a different City after driving 200 miles, that was over ten years ago but to this day I have no recollection of ever going to the bar or driving that morning.  
If your friend is willing to get help then she must be encouraged to go and the best place to start is with her family Doctor. I made many promises before getting sober but it was just to get people off my back so don't be to surprised if she backs out when it comes to getting help at this time. You need support as Boogieman suggested and alanon is a good program for family and friends.....

Ray

[boogieman]

Absolutely. Those closest to the alcoholic can have a powerful impact. The two major factors in any successful recovery are support and willingness. In order to be supportive, those closest to the alcoholic are best equipped through understanding the nature of the condition, and the single most effective resource is often alanon. More importantly, the alcoholic has to be willing to take action- they must want to recover.it often requires medical assistance to initially separate the alcoholic from the drink as withdrawal can be life threatening, but once this initial detoxification is achieved, real progress can begin.this is not an easy road to travel, but with the right combination of support, wilingness and perserverence,it can be attained. And as time goes by it gets easier, provided the alcoholic maintains a few simple principles in their daily life.best wishes GM-

[mandyisme]

She is seeking help, rehab, docs, counselors, etc, but still maintains she doesn't remember getting it or buying it or drinking it.  Maybe she will in time though as this is all new to us.  I personally had never heard of anyone not having knowledge that they had bought or drunk alcohol and I suspect it may be part of the denial process although I am still going to be supportive of her treatment.  That's what friends and family are for right?  To try to help them recover.

[boogieman]

Hello. Xanax will also cause blackouts not unlike those that are alcohol induced. And it will also cause the user to appear drunk. And yes, the combination can be lethal, as one will intensify the other's effects. Either way, your friend probably should seek an evaluation by professionals in the area of chemical dependency. It stands to reason that there is some denial at work here as well as it is usually part of any addiction. Take care, GM

[mandyisme]

Seems like I remember the script Xanex or something like that, but I could be totally wrong.  I mentioned that to someone else and they thought that combination would be deadly???  I don't know much about stuff like that.  It is possible that she is or has taken Ambien.  I could check and see.  I know she has had anxiety issues.  It's hard not to feel sorry for her and believe her.  She seems genuine and I just want help for her.  She is willing to accept help which is good.  We've also now tried to make it so she is never alone.  But we obviously can't do that for forever.  

[dominosarah]

Did she ever take ambien for sleep?  These pills have made people go out and buy cars, houses the whole nine yards and they had no clue.

I need to do some research on this a bit.  It has never happened to me or anyone in my family.  I know denial is a very powerful emotion but something just isnt adding up ya know??

She is lucky to have you as a friend........Support of family and friends is so helpful.

[mandyisme]

Her husband suspects she had a problem when she seemed to be a bit over the top the past year or so.  Waking up talking slow, hard to get awake, got a dui it became clear, extremely aggressvie at times (not ever violent, but personality wise)    She willingly takes at home tests, goes to doc for the test, etc if her husband or her family ask her to.Especially in light of the fact that she doesn't remember drinking.   She says she is surprised at the test results but wants help. So nobody else here as ever had a similar experience with themselves or their family?  Her husband and family searched thru her things so see if they can find any alcohol but they don't. She allows them to search or whatever they think they need to do.

[dominosarah]

Did the husband say what pills he thought she was doing?  Pills and alcohol make a deadly combination.  What was she given the tests for?

[mandyisme]

There are no receipts anywhere for the alcohol, but she would have cash.  Her husband thinks she is also combining it with certain meds.  She will accept help and advice but swears by her life that she doesn't remember buying or even drinking the alcohol.  Am I wrong in thinking that you would have to make a sober conscience decision to walk into a store and buy alcohol?  And make a conscience effort to hide the bottles, etc?  All we have are test results.  She does have alot of viruses and is red as if she has been working out alot.  She is also very outgoing and sometimes over the top.  She seems very genuine in her stating she doesn't remember buying or even drinking.  

[bbq33]

I am a recovering alcoholic. When I was in a "blackout" I didn't remember buying alcohol. When I was not drinking or just drank a little, I sure as heck can remember buying alcohol. Alcohol is a disease and denial is only one of the symptoms. You might want to go to an Alanon meeting and explain the situation. There are a lot of people in your situation at these meetings that can answer your questions and give you advice on how to handle this problem.
good luck

[dominosarah]

Has she been using cold medicines?  Are there checks or debits to the liquor store?  I am rather confused here so please just bear with me........Is she maybe claiming she doesnt know so she doesnt get in trouble since her tests showed positive?  I remember  drinking vodka and chewing a ton of gum to cover up the smell......

[mandyisme]

she admits that she must have a problem since the tests are proving so.  She says she must be doing it and not realizing it.  

[dominosarah]

Does she admit to being an alcoholic?

[mandyisme]

I forgot this too.  She also claims to have no memory or knowledge of actually drinking the alcohol.  She acts surprised when test results reveal otherwise.