Regrets

[narla]

Not a question,Just sharing part of my story

As I was sitting here thinking about my sobriety I remembered some of the feelings I had in the first couple of months.
I actually regretted telling people about my addiction,Why?because it made me accountable.
There were times that I really felt like drinking,and I really thought I'd be able to control it if I wanted to but because I had told family and close friends I knew I was being watched and I didn't want to disappoint them,or feel like a failure.

Now I am so glad I did tell people,Why?because more than being accountable to others it makes us accountable to ourselves,I had to get real and be honest with myself.And being honest with ourselves is the hardest thing in the world to do.

Just thought I'd share this.

Congratulations everyone on your sobriety~~~~We Rock

Denise

[ibizan]

yes at peace....and he nows we miss him!thank u girls for being here for me as well!u r cyber cherished!:)

[narla]

At peace-Those words are so comforting,and of course we know you are right,Thanks ibizan~~Denise

[dominosarah]

You are always so right ibizan.  Thanks for talking with us........sara

[ibizan]

we all know he's at peace now....there are those that are too fragile for this world....and this world is a challenging one but so many times unrelenting and is getting harder for so many....and for those we've cared about so hard to let go of......but they let go  of us long b4 we let go of them!

[narla]

I miss reading his words of wisdom too,he was the reality of addiction.RIP boogieman

[dominosarah]

This is WAY off the subject at hand but today i am really missing boogieman......Still having a hard time with this one.  ugghh

[ibizan]

this forum has been a great place for many to share their xperiences which have helped others as we know who read posts and then decide to comment....glad that this forum can be of help for so many!and then we never know who may be reading who is helped and doesn't post!

[Punkinhead75]

Hi narla,

I hope I didn't offend you earlier.  If I did I apologize,  it was not my intention.

I was in a mtg. once and a lady had shared about abuse.  What struck me most was her ability to be open and honest with the situation.  She too had to forgive so that she could move on and be sober.  I agree that discretion should be used when sharing.  When we open AA mtgs we told to share in a general way what it was like, what happened, and what we are like now.  If abuse is part of our experience and we can share it in a general way than I think it can be helpful.  I have worked with someone who was sexually abused.  When he shared some of it I kind of felt bad that I had no experience with it and felt as though I couldn't help him.  I never thought I would feel sorry for myself for not being abused.  That is honestly how I felt at the time.  I also felt hopeless because I didn't know of anyone that had experience with it and haven't found anybody that has.  Domestic violence is a part of my experience and it isn't something that often gets mentioned during mtgs.  When I tell my story I talk about it and it is something many people identify with.  It helps others feel like they aren't alone.  There may be somebody in a mtg. believing that they can't stay sober because of something tramatic that happened in their lives.  When hearing the same thing happened to another person and seeing that they are sober it inspires hope.  Where there is hope there is no hopelessness.  The journey begins.  I don't know where all this came from but thanks for letting me share it here.  Be well!!!

[narla]

When I first came here I was upfront and honest about everything,including childhood sexual abuse,but I learned you have to be careful what you say,I don't regret anything I have shared at medhelp because I was also able to help some younger people who were trying to deal with childhood abuse themselves and because I was open about my life they felt they could talk with me.

[dominosarah]

Yikes.......

[ibizan]

years ago this woman gave a AA lead and started talking about her history of sexual abuse and that she forgave the man who abused her and began to giggle.....this is what i mean by inappropriate disclosure........there is a time and a place and a person in whom to confide and a almost all male lead room is not the place!

[narla]

I only told my closest friends who had known me for many years,and were like family.

I'll remember to KISS all the time LOL

Hi punkinhead, I was hoping people could relate to what my thoughts were in the beginning,although sometimes those thoughts can still creep in,but I get rid of them pretty quickly now.

Denise

[ibizan]

and i know u r wise enough to decide what to share with others who are not family...discretion is key with others.....there are some who will hold it against you and gossip and we know who our real friends are and who they aren't.....i love that saying we will not regret the past.....nor entirely shut the door on it!

[Punkinhead75]

Hi narla,

I love hearing stuff like this.  It really shows off our diseased thinking.  I like how the part of us that wants to get better is honest with others and then the sick thinking (fear based) keeps us from using.  Then regret it to boot.  I can really identify with it.  I hope that makes sense.   Otherwise it sounds terrible.  LOL!!!  To me it's like being on a diet then having a bowl of ice cream(fear of others thought about me) and adding whipped cream(regret).  Thanks for sharing. I always enjoy reading your posts.  Have a great day!!!!