Aa
Have I got a problem with alcohol? If yes, how to quit?
Hi. Firstly, I apologize about the grammar and wrong language expressions. English is not my maternal language.This post is really long, so if you don´t like reading, just don`t torture yourself. It`s not worth of it.
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Well, I think I have got a few problems with alcohol. I´m 17, and I`m not sure is this just some teenage gabing. I`d believed that it is. For a long time. I thought it takes more time for something serious like this. I want to know the main difference between alcohol abuse and psychological addiction.
To start with, I started to drink at the age of 13 after I´d abandoned all of my friends because of hypocrisy and become depressed. And from the beginning I drank every glass in one gulp until I started to throw up and passed out and I was a burden to all of my new friends who drank normally. First it was just at Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings.
How time passed by, the problems with my friends were getting worse because I started to drink four-five times a week, no matter when(in the morning, afternoon or evening)and every evening during the holiday. And I was waiting for them to stop being my friends. When that happened, I just kept drinking.
At the age of 15, I made new friends, who drank as much as I did, or even more, but they drank slowly, so I was the only one who was ending up throwing up. Again.
At that stage, my parents were starting to noticing, so I was grounded very often and I drank almost every day, even in school where I didn`t have any friends except two older ones who also drink really often.
Soon after, I`ve ruined my relationships with friends who I were going out with, and made knew one. (And I haven`t lost him. Yet, but something happened between us last weekend when we were drunk so...)
Soon after, when I was drunk, I stabbed some table in school with knife, had problems because of my self-destructive way of writing, and I had to talk to pedagogue, where I end up having nervous breakdown. And sometimes I was asked to leave from bars due to my excessive drinking and passing out. I don`t throw up anymore.
I`ve recovered from that incidents by drinking, but problems with my parents and my false promises about not drinking were getting more often, so I decided to stop drinking. And it lasted for about 4 months. And then, when I was 16, my dog died. He was the most important person in my life. I realize how stupid that must sound, but I`m not good with people so it`s true. And from then, during the last 11 months, I`ve been drinking about five times a week and almost every time i drink until I pass out or black out.
When I`ve got no alcohol at the evening and I’ve got a need to drink, I steal a little bit from my parent`s basement. Once, when I`ve already been drinking and have an urge for more, my father nearly caught me in the middle of the night with Jegermeister in my hand. So I had to hide myself and come for that alcohol later. These 10 minutes were so long and boring for me. I just wanted him to go back to sleep because I wanted to drink so badly.
Now the problems with my parents are really, really big, they are worried, they cannot sleep, but I am never grounded. They realized it does not work. And even when I really want to stop drinking during the weekend, because they think I drink just then, I end up drunk. I don`t even know how. At one moment I`m under control, and in the other one I pass out. My blackouts are now getting really often, they are like moon walking.
I drink two or three times a week since I almost overdosed myself a month ago and my parents had to pressure my stomach to make me throw up what I drank because I was really pale and wasn`t moving at all. I just couldn’t.
Now I have got some friends and, when I met them for the first time, I forced them to except me for who I am even though some of them drink really rarely.
And my grades in high school are between B and A. I haven`t ruined that, but I don`t really care about it. It is just something for my parents. I don`t even care about my future.
And the problem is I don`t know how to live or what to do in life without alcohol. I feel so bad because of my family, because of graffiti I`ve made when I was drunk, and especially about this weekend when I almost had sex with my very best friend and I feel so guilty about that because I can`t face it and I think I`ve messed up my relationship with him too. I can`t express my emotions. I just know how to run away from them. And I don`t know what to do. Every year is worse and worse.
And one part of me doesn`t even want to stop. One part of me just wants to ruin me, my every cell, and my every organ.
And even if I stop drinking, everyone, old as me, drinks during the weekends, so I`ll be bored even if I start going out with them or anybody else. Is there any way to control my drinking, to stop myself before I pass out? I tried to do it but it worked only when I had something to smoke and had no more money for alcohol. I even tried not to drink during the week, but I`m not completely successful. It`s not so easy.
And even if I stop drinking, I have got so bad reputation and I cannot just try to communicate with these judgmental people. I live in a small town (population is about 15 000) and almost everybody who are going out or in my school knows about my drinking and using some drugs, because I do not hide it. I have always wanted to be accepted or not accepted on the base who I really am.
I`ve recently realized that I drink differently of all of people I know. I started to think about this whole alcohol situation and about my behavior for the first time.
My question is: „Am I abusing alcohol or is it something bigger? “. I hope not.
Some facts (I don`t know are they all consequences of alcohol)
1.I`m not sure about the tolerance
- When I started: 4 SDs (standard drinks) in 1 hour made me drunk
- Now: 6,5 SDs in 15 minutes, pause of 1hour, 3,5 SDs, plus marijuana and I`m on the ground
2.I don`t feel drunk and in other moment I realize I am because I cannot walk
3.I drink in different situation (to decrease pain or guilt, to escape or celebrate, because I`m bored, when I`m in the bath)and company(with friends, and more often alone)
I`m trying not to drink, and when I`m successful I can`t sleep, and I noticed I can`t run more than a minute because my heart starts to beat really fast, I feel it in my head. Oh, yeah, and my blood pressure is sometimes too high.
I would really appreciate an objective opinion because no one I know is able to do that.
Btw: My aunt was an alcoholic. She had delirium tremens, and all of that, and a lot of people in my family were, like my father, or are having some periods of drinking. Some of them(younger ones) drink a 3-4 times a month until they get really drunk.
............................................................................................................................................
Well, I think I have got a few problems with alcohol. I´m 17, and I`m not sure is this just some teenage gabing. I`d believed that it is. For a long time. I thought it takes more time for something serious like this. I want to know the main difference between alcohol abuse and psychological addiction.
To start with, I started to drink at the age of 13 after I´d abandoned all of my friends because of hypocrisy and become depressed. And from the beginning I drank every glass in one gulp until I started to throw up and passed out and I was a burden to all of my new friends who drank normally. First it was just at Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings.
How time passed by, the problems with my friends were getting worse because I started to drink four-five times a week, no matter when(in the morning, afternoon or evening)and every evening during the holiday. And I was waiting for them to stop being my friends. When that happened, I just kept drinking.
At the age of 15, I made new friends, who drank as much as I did, or even more, but they drank slowly, so I was the only one who was ending up throwing up. Again.
At that stage, my parents were starting to noticing, so I was grounded very often and I drank almost every day, even in school where I didn`t have any friends except two older ones who also drink really often.
Soon after, I`ve ruined my relationships with friends who I were going out with, and made knew one. (And I haven`t lost him. Yet, but something happened between us last weekend when we were drunk so...)
Soon after, when I was drunk, I stabbed some table in school with knife, had problems because of my self-destructive way of writing, and I had to talk to pedagogue, where I end up having nervous breakdown. And sometimes I was asked to leave from bars due to my excessive drinking and passing out. I don`t throw up anymore.
I`ve recovered from that incidents by drinking, but problems with my parents and my false promises about not drinking were getting more often, so I decided to stop drinking. And it lasted for about 4 months. And then, when I was 16, my dog died. He was the most important person in my life. I realize how stupid that must sound, but I`m not good with people so it`s true. And from then, during the last 11 months, I`ve been drinking about five times a week and almost every time i drink until I pass out or black out.
When I`ve got no alcohol at the evening and I’ve got a need to drink, I steal a little bit from my parent`s basement. Once, when I`ve already been drinking and have an urge for more, my father nearly caught me in the middle of the night with Jegermeister in my hand. So I had to hide myself and come for that alcohol later. These 10 minutes were so long and boring for me. I just wanted him to go back to sleep because I wanted to drink so badly.
Now the problems with my parents are really, really big, they are worried, they cannot sleep, but I am never grounded. They realized it does not work. And even when I really want to stop drinking during the weekend, because they think I drink just then, I end up drunk. I don`t even know how. At one moment I`m under control, and in the other one I pass out. My blackouts are now getting really often, they are like moon walking.
I drink two or three times a week since I almost overdosed myself a month ago and my parents had to pressure my stomach to make me throw up what I drank because I was really pale and wasn`t moving at all. I just couldn’t.
Now I have got some friends and, when I met them for the first time, I forced them to except me for who I am even though some of them drink really rarely.
And my grades in high school are between B and A. I haven`t ruined that, but I don`t really care about it. It is just something for my parents. I don`t even care about my future.
And the problem is I don`t know how to live or what to do in life without alcohol. I feel so bad because of my family, because of graffiti I`ve made when I was drunk, and especially about this weekend when I almost had sex with my very best friend and I feel so guilty about that because I can`t face it and I think I`ve messed up my relationship with him too. I can`t express my emotions. I just know how to run away from them. And I don`t know what to do. Every year is worse and worse.
And one part of me doesn`t even want to stop. One part of me just wants to ruin me, my every cell, and my every organ.
And even if I stop drinking, everyone, old as me, drinks during the weekends, so I`ll be bored even if I start going out with them or anybody else. Is there any way to control my drinking, to stop myself before I pass out? I tried to do it but it worked only when I had something to smoke and had no more money for alcohol. I even tried not to drink during the week, but I`m not completely successful. It`s not so easy.
And even if I stop drinking, I have got so bad reputation and I cannot just try to communicate with these judgmental people. I live in a small town (population is about 15 000) and almost everybody who are going out or in my school knows about my drinking and using some drugs, because I do not hide it. I have always wanted to be accepted or not accepted on the base who I really am.
I`ve recently realized that I drink differently of all of people I know. I started to think about this whole alcohol situation and about my behavior for the first time.
My question is: „Am I abusing alcohol or is it something bigger? “. I hope not.
Some facts (I don`t know are they all consequences of alcohol)
1.I`m not sure about the tolerance
- When I started: 4 SDs (standard drinks) in 1 hour made me drunk
- Now: 6,5 SDs in 15 minutes, pause of 1hour, 3,5 SDs, plus marijuana and I`m on the ground
2.I don`t feel drunk and in other moment I realize I am because I cannot walk
3.I drink in different situation (to decrease pain or guilt, to escape or celebrate, because I`m bored, when I`m in the bath)and company(with friends, and more often alone)
I`m trying not to drink, and when I`m successful I can`t sleep, and I noticed I can`t run more than a minute because my heart starts to beat really fast, I feel it in my head. Oh, yeah, and my blood pressure is sometimes too high.
I would really appreciate an objective opinion because no one I know is able to do that.
Btw: My aunt was an alcoholic. She had delirium tremens, and all of that, and a lot of people in my family were, like my father, or are having some periods of drinking. Some of them(younger ones) drink a 3-4 times a month until they get really drunk.
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
i'm 55...started drinking at 14....pot 17....valium acid cocaine up til 28...too much blacking out and an assortment of other problems......i used to feel like u when i was a teen.....i decided to go to inpatient treatment at 28.....i was a most pain in the butt patient but i wanted to change my life and not keep frying my brain w/alcohol drugs did 12 step 2......its been hard work but well worth it.....so what kind of dog did u have that passed away?what did he pass from/what kind of dog do u have now?how old?how old is ur cat?
I get stronger every day,but it really is hard and it is something you have to work at,I just look at my grandchildren and tell myself that's the reason I want to stay sober.
I also have a brother-in-law who is very sick at the moment in hospital,dying as a result of alcohol and drug abuse,He has emphasyma and cirrhosis,and it is slowly killing him,
He is only 41.
I also have a brother-in-law who is very sick at the moment in hospital,dying as a result of alcohol and drug abuse,He has emphasyma and cirrhosis,and it is slowly killing him,
He is only 41.
Yeah... It`s not easy.
I`m not even addicted for real, and this Saturday was the hardest night ever... Almost all the time, I couldn`t concentrate at the talking part, I was nervous, frustrated and angry and all the time I was thinking about the bottle of wine that was standing on the floor and nervously walking in the circle. I couldn`t take it anymore, so, while my friends were drinking, I had to walk alone few times during the evening... It was so hard. Like some unbearably strong, and at the same time forbidden need.
I can only imagine how hard abstinence must be for you... Opiates and all these years of using them and alcohol... The important thing is you didn`t give up when you lost control for three days. And that must have been really hard… I suppose you must be really strong emotionally and physically…
I`m not even addicted for real, and this Saturday was the hardest night ever... Almost all the time, I couldn`t concentrate at the talking part, I was nervous, frustrated and angry and all the time I was thinking about the bottle of wine that was standing on the floor and nervously walking in the circle. I couldn`t take it anymore, so, while my friends were drinking, I had to walk alone few times during the evening... It was so hard. Like some unbearably strong, and at the same time forbidden need.
I can only imagine how hard abstinence must be for you... Opiates and all these years of using them and alcohol... The important thing is you didn`t give up when you lost control for three days. And that must have been really hard… I suppose you must be really strong emotionally and physically…
It's been 4 years now since our beloved family member crossed the rainbow bridge,we got her when she was 6 weeks old and she lived 17 years,so she was definitely a member of our family,the day we had to end her suffering was the most horrendous day,me my daughter and my husband all went to the vet and we all cradled her as she went to sleep,
We had her cremated and her ashes are in a pewter urn,we also had a beautiful photo of her and I even had casts of her paw prints done in plaster of Paris,they even cut a small piece of her fur for us to keep.
She was a Tibetan Spaniel,her name was Ming,We chose not to put her in shows even though she was bred from showdogs,We decided she should have a mind and will of her own.
We couldn't bear to get another dog after she went,but we do love animals,so we ended up with 2 cats,and they are just as much part of our family as Ming was
We had her cremated and her ashes are in a pewter urn,we also had a beautiful photo of her and I even had casts of her paw prints done in plaster of Paris,they even cut a small piece of her fur for us to keep.
She was a Tibetan Spaniel,her name was Ming,We chose not to put her in shows even though she was bred from showdogs,We decided she should have a mind and will of her own.
We couldn't bear to get another dog after she went,but we do love animals,so we ended up with 2 cats,and they are just as much part of our family as Ming was
I have to get my husband to take control of the opiates,otherwise I know I would abuse them again,I had a 3 day relapse with them about a month ago,I didn't even want to come here and admit what I'd done,but saying nothing can say so much,because I hadn't been on(which is unusual for me)Sara and ibizan seemed to work out something was wrong.
I was here reading but not posting,so when they asked me if everything was ok,I had to be honest,and I told them what I'd done,they helped get me back on track again.
This is why this forum is so important.
I was here reading but not posting,so when they asked me if everything was ok,I had to be honest,and I told them what I'd done,they helped get me back on track again.
This is why this forum is so important.
Yeah... Sometimes I can`t stand being with people, but animals are always welcome... And where and what do you work? In private company? Have you got a flexible working time? Good payment? Is it fun or boring?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sarah- i can't wait for the day when another weagle aka beagle hits the jackpot and winds up in ur home! morethan0-i say that my animals are my reward when i come from work....i work w/humans so i can come home 2 the animals!So much peace and serenity in their company!
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