Alcohol aftercare

[Chriselena]

My beloved husband stopped drinking for 2 month now after i left him to make a decision to stop on his own, because i could not cope any longer. He has been drinking before but for the past year he was having morning sessions, became abusive and even infected me with NSU, which he did not contract sexually (it was due to lack of hygiene as doctors confirmed).  

Prsently, however, he keeps getting angry spells most of the time, blaming me for leaving him when he needed me most and is very proud of himself doing so well. I feel I am not part of his life any longer and it hurts, naturally. I am very happy for him and recognise the need to be very careful now and to learn what might happen next. He is working in another country in Asia and for me to make a decision to go there and live there with him is a serious one in deed. I have no friends nor family there and we got nearly drained of everything we had during this horrible year. I was first socked to discover him this bad and then went on into a long denial thinking he will snap out of it by himself. Also I had no experience of knowing nor dealing with such cases and was counting on his sense of reponsibility.

He is talking a lot about bipolar disorder at the moment. He hardly takes responsibility for anything. He also keeps telling me I need to get checked for bipolar etc. I did not know what bipolar was, just read on the subject and I think he might have it. I might of course show signs as well, its been very difficult to cope, I lost patience and snapped a lot at him during the time I was trying to 'control' his going the wrong way. It was not very smart of me as I realise now.

Would that be normal for recovering alcoholics to behave in such manner? How long does it normally take to get your life back to normal afetr a partner stops? I am new to this site, never liked to discuss anything private much with anyone outside the family. He is the same. Forgive me for being a complete novis.

[Tink70]

Go to Alanon.  PLEASE!  
Take Care
Tink

[ibizan]

whether he gets back to some degree of normal depends upon how he takes responsibility for his addiction and the things he's done a s result of it.Plus does he go to AA?counseling?from what u describe he is behaving in a style known as a dry drunk.....the acohol may be gone...but the same crapp y behavior and a great reluctance to take what we call a searching and fearless moral inventory!u would be most unwise and miserable if u moved 2 Asia right now.....sounds like he needs to do major repair work on himself!