I just need some support...

[lostsoul22]

Hi, I've been a regular in the past on the addiction forum for vicodin.  I relapsed with that, now in the spaces between refills I've been drinking a lot.  Of course, now I mix the two when I have access to vicodin.  My dad, who died a few years ago, was an alcoholic and a counselor in AA, would be my biggest asset, but he's gone.  I realize this is a genetic predisposition, but I'm having a helluva time stopping.  I'm going through a divorce and child custody battle, which is likely a result of my addictions and a cause of my return to them, but what the hell do I do?  My chest hurts, my liver hurts.  I'm 36 and desperate.  I'm sorry to bother any of you, but if someone could talk off the ledge.... I don't know what else to do...

[rpooo]

Very well put Pumpkinhead. BTW, i'm really proud of you for making through..
(Squirrel headed.)

[Punkinhead75]

Our addictions (it doesn't really matter what we use)  tend to have a progressive way of removing our ability to cope.  That leaves us with a spiritual malady.  This spiritual malady has a way of getting us to keep using.  We keep using to change the way we feel.  We want to feel better.  When we address the spiritual malady and learn/relearn a good way to live then the obsession to use can be lifted.  Surrounding myself with others who have gone through it and learning from those who have been successful has been a major key in my recovery, happiness and serenity.  I feel better without having to use.  I strongly suggest looking into a support network.  AA, NA, Counseling.  I go to AA on a regular basis and it helps me quite a bit.  I went for my drinking and stayed for my thinking.  Good luck.

[lostsoul22]

I don't have a system, never had one.  Quite honestly alcohol has never been a problem unitl now.  I was a clean living work-out freak.  I was in great shape, everybody always told me how great I looked, and I was proud of it.  I grew up a skinny little kid and I worked my way to having gym credibility as someone who did it all the right way.  Then I threw my back out and had 2 lower disc problems, not bad enough for surgery at my age, but enough to sideline me for awhile.  That's where the vicodin kicked in.  Then I started faking injuries to get more, and more, and more, and that's obviously where the fall started.  Now I have a whole new, much more negative view on life.  I got off the pills for a long time, then I hurt my back again, thought I could handle the addiction this time, I was wrong.  The vic addiction isn't as all consuming as it once was, but of course now I've been supplementing with alcohol, so the addiction problem remains, only the names have changed.  I've  never really sought a support system. Too afraid maybe...

[ibizan]

oy vey sir!i can hear ur pain in the upsetting life event u r undergoing.....and i know the pain of losing a father....1-25 will b 5 yrs.4 me my pop gone...but u know...and we all know that drowning the pain in alcohol will only make it worse....not to mention how ineffective it renders u as a father....no doubt ur kids love u...ur the only dad they'll EVER have...and the drinking affects them!have u...did give up going... r u going back to 12 step meetings?who is ur sober/clean support system?