I think I have a problem

[usia55]

I am a 52 yo female, work almost full time and go to school full time. I have a great life, wonderful husband, beautiful home and will be graduating at the top of my class with honors in  5 weeks. I eat healthy foods, I exercise several times a week and  I also drink.  A lot. I drink 12 bottles  or more of beer just about every other day. Yes, I have a hangover and it affects my health and my life. Menopause has not been easy on me and I've been drinking more since it started 2 years ago. I have a problem, right? Would you say I'm an alcoholic?  I know I need to stop, but somehow I always tell myself that it's OK to have a drink just this time and it's not really a problem.  I think I need to hear an ugly truth about myself and how it affects my health and  need to stop!  Please comment?

[ibizan]

well here i am..not drinking and have fallen off the exercise wagon which i need to get back on!was taking yoga for several years and teacher switched class to a nite i had to work late......would do on own get lazy.....then found a cardio class i dug and the instructor who is a kickboxer stepped it up 2 a level of intensity that made my knees and ankles ache......but damn i kept up with the 25 yr.old hardbodies!gave that up.....and my beloved greyhound had a relapse with his autoimmune disorder in jan.we all moved downstairs and tended to his needs...sporadic progress but lost him 3-27.been in  a slump somewhat but coming out of it....finally went back upstairs and have been sleeping in own bed!new boy greyhound coming 4-20 to lift our spirits and energy level......but u ladies inspire me with the exercise!thank u!both of u girls go and go on not drinking!:))))))

[usia55]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.  I can totally see myself in your comments, but never really thought that my drinking may be due to my need to give up the tight grip I have on everything else in my life. So.. someone else out there exercises, watches their diet and......drinks. I guess I'm not so unique after all.  I never was tempted or needed any drugs, prescription or otherwise so I'm lucky there.   I love animals and share a house with 2 cats who are my best buddies.  Today was a good day, and I'm going to try for another one tomorrow.

[ibizan]

i like that...and its possible eh?my greyhounds and cats are the bastion of whats left of my sanity....LOL:))))) i do think GOD is dog spelled backwards!:))))))

[horse1]

thanks for your comments...i, too, remember joan osborne's song..it was funny...maybe god is all of us, not one of us lol.

[ibizan]

i can relate to ur sentiments bout AA....i had 12 years of Catholic school and God stuffed down my throat......but it was the first place i was given permission to b-lieve as i chose..or not...or to view the power of the group as good......there is that saying take what u can use and leave the rest......and i did...but met fine ppl who helped me...and i knew i could not stay sober alone sitting in my apt.staring at my siamese cat as she stared back!I'm not sure if there is a God....i hope so....i loved Joan Osbornes song in 1995 that raised a furor...What if God was One of us?but both NA and AA helped me.....i am an eclectic....and an avid reader...i embrace whatever can help me....I have a sister who is a Buddhist and have found their teachings to be great stress managment stuff plus trying to live a good life philosophy!

[horse1]

omg this sounds like me, too. i am 51 yo single working mom putting son thru college with no financial help. responsible to a fault, never late on mortgage; same job for 30 yrs. yet when i drink, i don't give a rat's *** about anything and it feels SO good to give up all that control for a while. except the next day i am hungover and feel like **** on toast and want to beat myself up. not to mention the blackouts...it is indeed a slippery slope.

i exercise vigorously, eat well and do not smoke. i drink at least a bottle of wine on weekend nites. in the past i have been on paxil, prozac, serzone, xanax for depression & anxiety and was hooked on sleep meds (ambien, lunesta, restoril) for 10 yrs and managed to wean myself off about 6 months ago. however, the booze seems to quell my anxiety temporarily so i keep doing it.

i tried aa for about a year in my mid-40s, didnt work the steps, and couldnt "surrender my will" bc i am atheist and do not believe any1 is in charge of my actions except for me. i just cant seem to get past that.

my doc wanted me to take trazadone (god forbid) to get off the booze, but i said no. i would love to be able to relax and have a good time w/o alcohol but yes, it seems like i have 2 personas - the responsible one and the one that is carefree, wild and crazazy...

just thought i would share...good luck.