I think I might have a problem

[Flowergirl90]

Hello there, I am a 20 yr old female and I have chronic Lyme disease. I was diagnosed a year ago but I am pretty sure I have had it for a few years now. I am in chronic pain and am constantly tired I am also on antibiotics. I know I shouldnt be drinking on antibiotics but I find that alcohol is the only way I have energy and am not in pain. I don't drink every day but I do almost every weekend. I drink to the point I throw up.. I just never want it to stop because I don't want to feel the pain again. It's been getting worse. I broke my nose on sat and instead of going home I just drank more. When I got back to my friends house I couldn't find anymore alcohol and I'm sad to say... I drank mouthwash just trying to keep my buzz. I am scared and I feel very alone. All my friends drink heavily too but they are not sick. I just don't know what to do anymore and I think I have a problem. My mother, grandfather and uncle have all struggled with alcoholism. I just would like to know if you think I have a problem or of this was just a stupid mistake?

[rod44]

You may feel scared and very alone now but things will only get worse if you dont get honest with yourself about your problem. Who drinks mouth wash for a buzz, someone who is demented and desperate. It is time to stop......  

[surfin]

I found out I had a problem when I was 21, and now I'm 22 and sober for 8 months.   I know how horrible it is to be drinking til blacking out every time, its scary.  I never knew who I would hurt next. I wasn't sure if I was an alcoholic, and this forum was the only place I felt comfortable asking questions.  I also drank like you did to avoid social anxiety and other pain.  I found an AA meeting on campus, and somehow thought it was in my best interest to go to more meetings.  The pain I hid from with alcohol was real, but AA helped me learn to deal with it, and I've found a much more serene and comfortable life, where I feel normal and that I have some beneficial purpose.

You're obviously bright, otherwise you wouldn't even realize something was a matter.  Now it's up to you to seek help, and look for a longterm solution that doesn't involve the easy fix of prescription meds or alcoholism.

Good luck on your journey to health

[Punkinhead75]

It sounds like time to start looking in to getting some help.  It is never too early to get cleaned up and properly deal with what life hands us.  God Bless!!

[ibizan]

sounds like u have a problem  w/alcohol overall PLUS drinking mouthwash to keep ur buzz?????? and quite the RED FLASHING LIGHT of family history of alcoholism!have u tried counseling b4?considered checking out an AA meeting?