need help/support

[rosemarysbaby]

Am 39 years old, mother of three, grandmother of two. I drink every other day mostly, in the evenings, stong lager, red wine or occasionly spirits not all at the same time. Just want some encouragement to stop not getting it at home. Know it has become a problem , feel like no one is taking me seriously anymore, feel like an outsider. been drinking for over ten years, heavier since 2007, lost my dad. Learned how to cope and control the panic attacks which are part and parcel of a major hangover, but seemed to be pushing my self to the limit to see how much my body can take. dont want to die ,but know that i'm am slowly killing myself.

[dominosarah]

There isnt enough alcohol in the world to numb our pain.  We have to walk thru the pain, not around it.  For many of us we lost who we were as being a wife and mother is a very demanding job.  I know how you are feeling but i am here to tell you there is a way out.  Putting the alcohol down needs to be your first step.  I know it is scary as that has become your lover so to speak.  Take a stand for you, fight for you, you are worth it.  You deserve to start living, not just existing.  You are stronger than you realize.  Keep talking to us, let us help you~~sara

[rosemarysbaby]

I read his post all the time, just being very selfish i suppose. i dont think its about me all the time, if i told u about the life i was living, sorry about the person i have lived with for the last 24  years you would not believe. My whole life has been about him and the kids,got three, he does eveything he wants spends money on all his hobbies, no money for the house or his kids, have left before ,for a year but could'nt cut the cord completly,so came back,stupid arse. Please keep given me your comments and support, really need it, nice to know that some one takes it seriously. x

[rosemarysbaby]

Yeh your probably right, just showed my partner what i had been talking about on this forum and it turned into a big argument, ended with him saying at least he is'nt a drunk,now crying and feeling very lost.Very sad.

[dominosarah]

You are at rock bottom as you are asking for help now.  You dont have to be living on the streets and sleeping in a shopping cart to find your bottom.  I lost my dad in 2006 and my drug addiction spiraled out of control.  I never dealt with the grief of losing him, i just numbed myself up so i didnt have to face the reality of the situation.  Keep talking to us as we are here to support you.

Now go back and read rpoo's post.  That is the reality of this addiction.

[rpooo]

By all means Don't wait for rock bottom! Thats just what I did and on 03-23-10 I recieved my diagnosis. End stage Cirrhosis. I was 38.

Doc thinks I'll need a transplant in less than five years, I hope he's wrong!
I hope there's one available.
I wish I would have stopped sooner.
I wish there would have been warnings.

Did you know that people with liver disease don't show symptoms until they have reached the end stage. Want to guess what "end stage" means. Still need more motivation?

I hope you find the strength you need. If you can find the right reason to quit, you might be surprised how easy it can be. I wish I did.

Randy

[ibizan]

Why would u need to hit rockbottom with this? Han't it caused enuf pain for u already?

[rosemarysbaby]

Thats the thing thats worrying me, dont think i have hit rock bottom, after a night of heavy drinking, a day of feeling like crap, i feel fine then back on the bottle again. I know its really stupid but i think i'm pushing myself towards a major health scare as if that will be the only thing that will make me stop, which makes me sad as the love of my kids is not enough. Thanks for your comments, although its making me anxious im glad that i finally put down in words a little of what i'm feeling. Need to get myself together have not been living for such a long time.

[lal757]

     Alcohol is a progress illness without help it is to much to handle.  I drank for years and felt the same way.  I did not want to die from alcoholism.  So I made my mind up that I was going to quit no matter what and I started going to aa meetings I did not like going at first but I had reached the bottom aa calls it hitting a bottom.  I kept going to meetings and talking to some members of the group who had been there for a while and I started to feel good about going to the meetings alcoholics are bad about wanting what we want and most want it now.  But it takes time to recovery from alcohol it can be done there is others on the forum who can relate and help hang on it will get better if you dont drink.  God bless.