Sober and Good that we Inhale/Exhale!

[ibizan]

Well that thread got too long so here we go ladies......maintaining sobriety and sanity in this oftentimes insane life continues.....what an order.....but i must go thru with it......saw a cool saying 2 day by Winston Churchill"If ur going thru hell...keep going!and keep going we must!

[TJack]

Hey girl, thanks for your response on the other thread.  This deal of mine just gets worse.  Got a call from the pych. hospital in tulsa this morning saying the social worker at the rehab wants my mom to go there for  a few days.   I explained to her that if it is a uti causing this confusion and craziness, i did not want her to go there and be even more confused.  she agreed with me.  waiting for a call back from the social worker at the rehab place.  i talked to the nurse earlier and mom was calling out for this one nurse she really likes, but she doesn't come on for another hour.  i said, has she been given an ativan?  well,  no.  Just one last night.  she said the order says as needed.  i said well, i think it is needed.  gee whiz!   I am trying to be the dr. and nurse from oregon to okla.  have tickets bought to go back first of sept.  But, in the meantime trying to stay sane and sober.  so far, not interested in drinking.  Would just like to take a few ambien and sleep.  i know you understand as you have been through so much with your Mom.    thanks for your support.   Tonya

[ibizan]

to my knowledge uti's don't cause confusion...so much going on in the elderly with cerebral changes...nasty lil proteins attack the brain as it ages causing the confusion..have they done an MRI on her?my mom was in psych unit for 3 months on/off b4 they did the MRI and found the Lewy body Dementia...oh do i KNOW what ur goin thru!yesss!keep hanging girl..the alternatives to not r ugly!:)

[TJack]

2 drs. and lots of nurses told me uti's can cause this, i had never heard it before.
Yes, they did brain cat scan and mri in the hospital 3 weeks ago.  I have a call in
for the dr. to call me and the woman who wants to send her to the nuthouse, but no call backs yet.  I am hanging and talked to my  sponsor twice today.  She, like you make so much sense.  thanks girl.  I never heard of lewy body dementia?  But, i will be asking the doc about that too, if i ever get to talk to him. grrrrrrrrrrrrr   Enjoy your weekend.thanks again.  T

[ibizan]

elderly ppl are focused on their bodily parts breaking down.....i have never heard of a uti causing this but the persons upset at it could cause the hysteria!we watch my mom go thru that a lot even tho she's stabilized now!so u no got a report on results of mri and CAT scan?u got siblings out there 2 help her?keep with sponsor meeting some sober fun stuff and some shaken iced teas!mine pretty good....i'm shaking my own!

[TJack]

mri and cat scan were fine.  Been on the phone all day with nurses and others there.
My son is there and niece and they are helping her.   She just wants to go home.
So, that is what they want her to do.  I consented, but first want her back on anti biotics if needed and the home health care nurse arranged.  My niece runs the apartment building mom is in so she can also check on her easier there.  
Hon, i've been drinking arizona tea like it is going out of style.  going to a friends pool party tomorrow night.  no drinking for me though.  I know booze won't help this situation.
Alot of it is out of my control.   My sponsor is so smart, good advice from her and you.
Keep shaking that tea girl.  i am bushed and praying for some sound sleep tonight.
Hope your Mom is good when you see her.  thanks much.  TJ

[BANDIDA]

First off...welcome back Jack!!!! Sorry for alll the turmoil U have and R goimg thru...keep the faith girl thats what counts!!!! Ibi I have been watching posts but not butting in too much.. !! You  give everyone such good advice!!! Even when U UR'self are facing UR own challenges with UR own MOM's health. I have to think and it hurts to do so..but in a way I am glad that my Mommy is gone...I cry as I type this cuz not a day goes by that I don't miss her!!! But she is in a better place and thankfully she did not suffer physically or indignately (sp??) where I had to care 4 her. But believe me I would have!!!! Am also glad that I did not put her thru anymore of my own screw-ups! I still have my Daddy to remind me and a brother who...who knows has his own ex-alky problems. We have not been a family in any way since my Mom died..what a shame..she was the glue. I can not take on nor could I duplicate what she gave to our family..All of it..hers my Dads mine grandkids etc. NO ONE can fill her shoes! Right now I know she is proud of me and I am proud of myself 4 her. It is the least I can do!  I am tho PO'D right now bcuz I got from wk and Tom was not here..called him he is at the Moose lodge sounding very TOASTED!!! I begged him not 2 drive home!!! Spoke to the bartender and she is assuring me that she will call the Budweiser ppl and they will cab him home!! Otherwise she will give him a ride. I am so anxious and  upset! Just don't wan't him B'hind the wheel...especially after what I have been thru!!! What a MORON!!!! It's OK I LOVE him and I will get in his face tomorrow. I know he is feeling less worthy of himself b'cuz of his layoff from wk but SORRY we all know BUDSELECTS will not fix things!!!! Luv U guys xxoo standing by waiting 4 his a----! to get here! Sorry if I vented 2 much..Bless U girls!

[ibizan]

glad that MRI and CAT scan fine....u just keep hanging girl..its all u can do....and iced t it!oh bandida......ur guy a drinker?yuk Budselect!only thing beer ever did for me was 2 make me pee a lot and bloat like a beached whale!and yes ur ma looks down on u with a peace in her...that ur sober....and ur not worrying her in the afterlife up there...sure hope its up there!

[TJack]

Bandida you are at work by now.  Since it is 11 here.  But, I feel for you on the loss of your mom.  You know this circle of life is the way it is, but sometimes and usually hurts so bad.  I do believe in Heaven and plan on meeting up with my loved ones there.  Something to hold on to.
Tell Tom no no no, remind him what it got you.  Not what he wants i am sure.
Ibi, you are a rock and it is always so good to read your advice.  
My son and niece took my Mom to her apartment this morning, supposedly for the day.
I am afraid they have bitten off more than they can chew.   She is stubborn and i would be willing to bet she will NOT go back to the rehab.  It is out of my control so i am trying to breathe deep and let it go.  Hang in there gang!  Hugs, Tonya

[Phtartist]

Hey all,  Thanks Bandida for letting me know you guys all moved over here.  I thought the thread just shreaked to a halt.  I wrote on it and ...................
thanks Bandida for the note, you are very thoughtful.

When you all say a UTI can cause mental problems, what are you saying?  I have ad one for over a month that thanks to the Dr.s throwing away my pee and then my going away and calling for results, then coming home and not having any.  Then sending it out for a test after I was off antibiotics for a week, that I was put on randomly  (macrobid) to give me some relief.  I am now waiting for those results which could be bogus because of the AB I was on.  But I am so symptomatic.  This on top of other crappola I am juggeling, and just trying to keep my head above water and stay in life.  Oh, add the yeast inf----tion I got from the AB, haha this is a bad tv series.  Beverly Hills 90210H my!  Hahaha,  Really girls,  I'm minute by minute and only girls in sobriety could know what I mean by that.  You survive, one minute, maybe an hour.  Then put the next foot in front of the other and hang on.

If any of your read my post on the former thread you'll appreciate my telling you......my husband, who is sober as long as I am and a friend of Bill's  asked me if I wanted to go to the track today.....Hmmmm.   Thank goodness he got me when I told him I don't feel mentally strong enough to go where I spent a lot of heavy partying time.
He was real cool with it.  He really rocks some times.  

So there is a major plus on my gratitude list today.  Another is my son stopped by.  He is such a light in my day.  He has a ***** fiance' that disregards me.  I gave him her birthday present that I made for her a long time before I learned of her long distain for me. Its a photo collage of my son and of she as children.  Eighteen photos in black and white in a frame of 4x6 blocks. Verticle and horizontal.  Hey he liked it.  I put a photo of their Lhasa Apso as a puppy in it too. Cute huh!  Jeffs sister and he as children in their PJ's and She and her brother and Sister as kids.  Her Mom gave me pix to scan for the collage.  She ignored all my calls that I had a birthday gift for her.  

Honesty is the best policy....I've done two things that rubbed her the wrong way.  One thing five years ago and the other recently when I had to retract a dinner invite because she was sick with a cold and I have an immune deficiency condition with Fibromyalgia.  She has a resentment against me for that.  I explained it to her face that when I catch a cold, it never manifests but haunts my body with flu symptoms for approx. 1- 3 months.  I was going on a trip two week from that dinner, so, I thought , just like the rest of my family understands this illness she would.  NOpe, she now hates me.  Such is life.

I have told my son not to get involved and that it is her thing, not mine and his.  He still wishes she wasn't like that.

Thank God for sobriety.  Thanks for listening.

[TJack]

Great post, the collage sounds so neat.   Ignore the girl, you are right it is her problem.
fibromyalgia on top of everything else, whew!  what a bad deal.
the UTI affects the elderly mentally.   2 drs. told me this and then several nurses and a PA also.  It is like it causes dementia to come on gung ho!  
Glad you are with us on this thread.  Yes, thank the Lord for sobriety.  i just pray i can stay that way.  i drank twice while i was in okla. with my Mom.  Once just 2 beers, but my sponsor says 1 is too many.  My sobriety date is changed again now.   You are wise to stay away from places where it would be easy to join in.   Tonya

[Phtartist]

Tonya, from all the feedback you have given me, I can feel you are a beautiful person.  My heart goes out to you.  I may have years but we all only have today.  

It's funny how its not the big stuff that will make you go out, its the broken pencil point or the untied shoe lace.  

I have been fortunate to have been given an amazing sponsor from the get go.  She is with me 17 years, She has 30 years sobriety and I have 13.  Her words from the BB and 12 and 12 and from her heart got me through my relapses, my sick thinking, my poor me's......pour me a drink.   I've watched her go through blindness and the strength to move to another state in the U.S. because her faith led her there.  She consequently happened upon a Dr. who restored not only the sight in her one eye but the sight in her eye she was blind in from birth.  MIRACLES PEOPLE, they are right around each corner, if we stay sober long enough to let them happen.

My future daughter in law called me to thank me for the photo collage.  Long story short........I listened, she talked, (God held my shoulder)  we shared about her crazy life right now and my daughters shower coming up.  Life goes on.  I remain cautious, I choose not to be hard but to protect myself from hurt.

[ibizan]

ph-love reading ur posts......oh i died laffing at the getting ready for the wedding one...oh yes we gotta make lemonade when life gives us lemons.....tjack-we don't take our mom out anymore....cept for docs appts.....early in her stay when we did it was hell to get her back and she just wanted to go home where she couldn't be.now after 2 years she is adjusted to where she's at.....she said she doesn't like being out in society today...with all the confusion and fastness.....but she won a contest at home tickets to the zoo and wants to go..like me she loves animals...so we will see bout getting a wheelchair and taking her!

[Phtartist]

I called my sponsor this morning.  I needed her to help me stay home and be.  You see, last night my son, his fiance' and my daughter went to my neices for a party.  My son and the she ***** were not happy with each other at the party after she took a private call from a man that she said "I can't wait to hug you" to.  He heard her and so did my daughter.  Knots Landing epidsde # 66.  

It hurts to see your children hurt.  My daughter calls me first thing this morning off the wall about my son's girl.  Wow, nails on a chalkboard!!!  I'm trying to work my program minute to minute.  Give the girl the benefit of the doubt.  I know too much, my heart is aching...........I'm trying not to fuel the fire..........especially my daughters fire!!!   I called my sponsor who, as God would have it, went through a very similiar thing with her daughter and her "Former" fiance'.   It really helped to speak with her, hear program advice, 3 / 11,  sanity, meditation, suggestions, serenity. Glad I called, it got me out of my head and wanting to grab her by the throat and slam her against the wall and read her her rights.
  "You have the right to pack your bags"  " You have the right to call your mother"  "You do not have the right to lie anymore"  blah blah

ttyl, Thunderstorms here in NJ  gotta shut down bye

[ibizan]

ah it hurts to see ur loved ones allowing themselves 2 b duped.......chant the Serenity prayer over and over and over......ur son needs to smell the coffee and wake up!i watch ppl daily.....mainly women but some men too allowing themselves to be abused and used....nothing i can do but suggest guide and hope like hell they get the balls to say enuf!

[TJack]

Gee you girls give the best advice.  Ph, your sponsor sounds like mine.  I am trying to learn to listen to her and work these steps.  She is a Godsend, for sure.  Yep those miracles are out there.  Your sharp wit and IB, yours too are like a breath of fresh air.
You have the right to pack your bags!    I love it!!  
I feel a real calm today.  Not good sleep last night so used that as an excuse to miss church.  And i love church, we have it in the park during the summer months, along the river in town.  God given beauty for sure.  Ibi, you are giving me good advice for my future with my Mom.  The trip to the zoo>and she wants to go!  That is a real positive.
Thanks girls.  Bandida, where are you?   We need some more lines for Julio and Willie.
later> Tonya  

[ibizan]

i was told years ago that sobriety is never a destination that we reach and we stop...we're cured....hallelujah..no more probelms.....right!NOT!it is always a journey and this odyssey of ur ageing mom is one u will travel.....i have been where ur at.....and have further to go quote Robert Frost and miles 2 go b4 i sleep.....i was leaving the home yestday and two women were in the parking lot and we were talking about this journey one 85 yr.old lady who feels so bad cuz she had to place her husband there and he hates it of course.....never know what 2 xpect!but deal we must my dear!mega sigh!!!!

[FriaryGrad]

It was great to catch up with everyone -- I'd write more but my air conditioning is broken (here in Florida) and the computer gives off heat. Having read all the posts, I think I am going to sit in a tub of cool water. (I don't have a pool, like Bandida does.)  

[TJack]

I am sighing big time.   Had such a calm all day until 2 p.m.  Got a call from the nurse at the rehab place in Tulsa.   My Mom had been outside for hours and would not take her meds or come back in.  I told her to tell her i was going to call her and to go to her room.  So, she did and then when i called she tried to sound like everything was fine.
Did not remember my son being with her all day yesterday and the day before.
The nuse said the dr. highly recommends a psych evaluation and i said okay.  First step though was to go to the hospital ER to get checked out, as a dr. has to say she needs to go to the mental hospital there.  My brother and sis in law were following the ambulance to the hospital.  Yes, it is all a journey my Dear >you are so right.  I know if i was there i would go buy a bottle of wine or a six pack.  That would cure nothing.  My nerves are settling down some now.  No telling what tomorrow will bring.  But, i can do it, as i must. Tonya

[TJack]

I don't know if i said this but the UTI is clean, no infection.  I was hoping that was the problem, if only it could be that easy.  thanks.  T

[ibizan]

if u were there and u went to buy booze imagine me wench slapping u girl!when we took my mom to where she is the first day she tried to climb a 7 foot fence then tried to go under it then sat outside til dark and refused to come in.Said she hated all of us.if she cannot remember her son being with her for that length of time then it don't take a rocket scientist to figure dementia or beginning alzheimers.....maybe MRI's missing something in early stage.Drinking solves nada honey, a crutch and a wobbly false one that doesn't last long......the greatest weapon u have is tween ur 2 ears.....use ur sponsor and whatever u must to strengthen it.....ur in my prayers!

[BANDIDA]

Just wanted to ck in and say HI!!!!! Gotta go inhale and exhale for my PO this a.m..in other words BLOW! Can I say that?? I go Mon., Tues., and Frid., It sure beats the torture device tho. I'm off after today for 3 days so I'll be hanging out on here, by the pool vacumming cleaning...whatever, I'll be talking w/Ya's. Take care all and I will be thinking up a new verse 4 our song! Seems like it's about time for a funny!!! Catch ya later!

[Phtartist]

You showed amazing prescence of mind getting your Mom back inside.  That was smooth.

[BANDIDA]

OK here is my new verse Ready? "to all the girls I've loved B4  saw momme's angel and wanted more.....YA'll take it from there Otay?  Phtartist...I think it is YOUR turn!!!!

[BANDIDA]

Check out mommeluvs profile + yull see what I mean