Still on the fence

[melbatoast64]

I was recently told by my therapist that I'm alcoholic, but I'm really not sure. I can go weeks without having a drink, but when I take that drink, it turns into a whole bottle. What is the definition exactly?

[MJIthewriter]

I've lurked several posts and yet to find an alcoholic who's mananged to successfully control how much they drink for long term... I guess this isn't anything new, but it adds onto those who replied.

Good luck with AA. I hope that goes well. If you need any inspirational links, I saved a few when I was researching.

[melbatoast64]

I am going to my first AA meeting next week. I just want to see what it's all about. Thanks to everyone on their responses!

[ibizan]

when i got sober and clean none of my so called friends who were in actuality just using/partying buddies came to visit me in treatment or when i got out.. they were there when the drugs and alcohol were but gone when they were gone... ...and i would get invited to their parties with the saying u can just drink a pepsi! like i was really gonna sit there in a room fulla pot smoke and do just that!i had no problem going in2 a bar by myself, or going to buy drugs by myself.....so i took myself to AA/NA at the age of 28..and i MADE myself do what i needed to do for a happier life....sure don't miss those nasty blackouts and hangovers!

[Bob_D]

Dear Toast,

Allow me to weigh in as someone with 50+ months sobriety.

"Alcoholism" is not a term used in the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual of the American Psychological Association which instead uses the terms "alcohol dependence" and "alcohol abuse", it is not a strictly scientific or medical term.

As such it is a relatively subjective term which each individual must decide to either embrace as part of his/her identity or not. There are "tests" on the internet to help you "decide" whether you might be an alcoholic. It's a pretty slippery definition.

At any rate, one hallmark of the disease is loss of control after the first drink.
The best treatment is widely acknowledged to be Alcoholics Anonymous, the only requirement for which is a desire to stop drinking, combined with total abstinence.

I wish you luck.
Bob D

[melbatoast64]

good for you! has your life changed drastically? I know it's only been 13 days, but it must be such a difference. i need a hobby, i think lol

[xand]

i'm 24 and gave up drinking thirteen days ago so hardly an old timer at this yet but am so hopeful for the future at last, no hangovers, no dts/sweats and i'm happy.
I know exactly what you mean my circle of friends usually go wild but i have removed myself from it i'm my own person and they have to accept that.
Wishing you all the best for this and take it one day at a time

[melbatoast64]

Thank you for inspirational words. I am seriously considering it...sometimes I feel like I don't have any fun at all, and if I do, I don't remember it anyway.

[cocobeanlisa]

I know alot of 20 somethings that are completely sober and love
their new life..For me the best part of my soberity was all of the new
friends I made in AA..I have more fun now than I did when I was
drinking..I have lived more in the past 12 years than I did the whole time I was
Drinking (20 + years)..

I had to change playgrounds and playmates (best thing I ever did)

Try life without booze.
coco

[melbatoast64]

Thanks for the information. It's very difficult to completely be sober in my circle of friends. We're in our early 20's, and every weekend is a shower or a wedding. I would like to be able to just have a few drinks and be content. I guess I will try to for a while, and if I relapse, I'll have to quit completely

[ibizan]

i'm a sober alcoholic/addict...for 24 years now.I tied controlled drinking/drug using and was repeatedly a miserable failure at it.....so I made the decision for complete abstinence.I don't meet many alcoholics/addicts that can go back to controlled use......not any at all come to think of it!

[cocobeanlisa]

Hi melbatoast,

I have been sober for a while and all I can say is that only you know if
you are an alcoholic, yes Izban's describtion was correct, blackouts, loss of
control asnd other things are a good intacator.  But I have never heard of
an alcoholic that can control their drinking or a reformed drinker.  I know
that when I first joined AA I did it so I could controll my drinking and it
worked for a little while and than I lost all control.  For me 1 drink is too
many and a 1000 not enough.

cocobean

[melbatoast64]

Thank you for the answer. Is it possible to change my ways? Or do I have to cut out alcohol altogether. Have you ever known a recovered alcoholic that still drinks but does so differently? In other words, is there such a thing as a reformed alcoholic?

[ibizan]

its not how often u drink its what happens when u do...loss of control over the amount u drink and ur behavior,continued drinking despite the problems it causes-money,family,relationships,legal,medical....having black outs not every one does tho...these r a few of the symptoms!