Aa
The Holidays
The Holidays will soon be here. It can be a challenging time for those of us who are recovering or who have recovered. For me, I think of all of the reasons why I quit in the first place and how much better my life is now without alcohol. I won't lie. It can be a challenge for me, even after five years of sobriety. Where I am, alcohol is a huge part of the socializing during the holidays. Even people who do not normally drink, will raise a glass during this time. So I continue to socialize with my glass of pop or juice. When going to parties or social gatherings, I will make sure to take along my fave non-alcoholic beverage just in case alcohol is only available. I have my supports in place just in case. When I first became sober, I made a promise to myself to always call a helpline or a close friend or family member before I grabbed a drink. Nothing is worth sacrificing my sobriety. I will admit, there are times, especially during the holidays, when I wish I could drink like everyone else. However, I remember the hard work and what I went through to get this far. That puts me back in my "happy place" and I can continue to socialize like everyone else. I also find that people will ask "why aren't you drinking?" or say "ahh come on, it's the holidays, have a drink?" They usually don't know that I'm a recovered alcoholic so I say to myself that it's ok.They don;t know and just mean well. I also don't feel the need to explain myself and just kindly say "No thanks, I just don't drink" or "I'm driving tonight" or "I'm ok with this glass of cola" etc. I just wanted to vent about this and put it out there. These are some things I use and do to get me through the holiday season with my sobriety intact. The holidays can be enjoyed without alcohol and as long as you have your support and a game plan in place, all can be well:) I never take my sobriety for granted. I'm five years and counting:) Be proud and be sober:)
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm not @ alcohol at all!But i've discovered trouble in a jar......Nutella hazlenut/cocoa spread....OMG!is awesome w/pretzels......of buy big jar and just use spoon!I went to see my mom who has the Lewy Body Dementia today:(not a bad visit but a somewhat sad one.I remind myself of ALL the past good memories I had of how special she made the holidays for us......and i'm lucky to have experienced that!A nice visit w/my brother and his wife!The dogs got a few of their presents early...squeaky toy symphony here!
How is everyone coping with the holidays? Even though I have five years of sobriety in, this is a challenging time of year. Last Friday, I could have chewed my arm off for a drink. The start of the holidays and I was feeling it!!!! So I made myself a nice cup of hot cocoa. I heated up some milk with cocoa and some dark chocolate mixed in. Hit the spot! Today, I was around wine drinkers. So I took a glass and put cranberry juice, mixed with a bit of cinnamon in it. Again, hit the spot! When I'm feeling anxious, I have some chamomile tea on hand to calm me.
As much as I miss booze this time of year, nothing, not even the holidays, is worth giving up my sobriety! How's everyone else?
As much as I miss booze this time of year, nothing, not even the holidays, is worth giving up my sobriety! How's everyone else?
Hi ibizan,
So sorry to her about the loss of your friend. I'm thankful for you helping her through two years of recovery. So nice of you to stay in touch with her Brother. Thank-you for sharing this story. You re right about the holidays. It's a tough time for many and not always easy for us who are recovered or recovering or just not there yet.Like you said, let's all stay connected and support each other over the holidays. Even after my five years of recovery, I still need the support. I'm so thankful for you all here on the forum. Let's all keep posting. Here for your support!
So sorry to her about the loss of your friend. I'm thankful for you helping her through two years of recovery. So nice of you to stay in touch with her Brother. Thank-you for sharing this story. You re right about the holidays. It's a tough time for many and not always easy for us who are recovered or recovering or just not there yet.Like you said, let's all stay connected and support each other over the holidays. Even after my five years of recovery, I still need the support. I'm so thankful for you all here on the forum. Let's all keep posting. Here for your support!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes lets all stay connected here..over the holidays and daily.I got word yesterday that a gorgeous young woman I sponsored years back had died from liver failure due to her relapse after 2 years of recovery.She resumed drinking and ADDED the devils curse opiates to the mix!Added to that her son went thru treatment,relapsed again and is now suicidal.....had previous hx but the death of his mom is an added topper:(I have remained friends w/her brother for 30 years who vows he will be a crusader for treatment and educator to others on addiction after the loss of his beautiful vibrant sister!Holidays aren't always cheery times indeed!
Thank-you CRSeaside! Let me wish you and everyone here a very safe and Happy Holiday Season! Let's continue to support each other over the holidays. I'm here for support and hey, may need it myself. As I look back on the year past, I'm so happy to have discovered these wonderful forums. Thank-you all for your wonderful support! We are all in different areas of recovery. Some of us are on the road to recovery or are just trying to find the road. Keep posting! As ibizan said, "many of us have been where ur at.......and we've never 4gotten what it feels like!" I hear ya! Always here for support:)
Fabulous Topic Expat!
Wishing Everyone the strength to stay sober for the Holidays & into new year.
Wishing Everyone the strength to stay sober for the Holidays & into new year.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome here!we're here to help......cuz many of us have been where ur at......and we've never 4gotten what that feels like! I sure haven't!
Hi Wanttobepositive,
Congrats on wanting to quit! You had 15 days in. Then, ok, you can quit so start again:) You may want to ask yourself what made you go on the bender in the first place? I know one of the challenges for me in my early days of sobriety was to get coping skills to stress, daily situations, etc. The fact that you want to quit, have a loving family and was able to go 15 days without are very positive steps to living a sober life. Please don't think about the 5 days you weren't sober. Move on from it:) So happy and proud of you to join in on the posts. We're here for you and have been there. It helps to talk about it.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, having supports in place so you won;t grab that drink helps. Perhaps discussing this with your Wife and talking to her for support when you feel like a drink can help? Also, AA meetings, 12 step programs and a number to call can help. Set a plan in place for yourself so you know what to do the next time you want to grab that drink. Whatever it is: Talking to your Wife, phoning a friend or helpline, watching TV or an activity you enjoy, taking a walk, etc.
Just throwing out some random suggestions that helped me. Different things work for different people. Would love to hear more from others on this post about what worked for them?
Also, would love to hear more about you, Wanttobepositve. Keep posting. It helps to talk and we're here for you:) You can do this! Recovery is possible!
Congrats on wanting to quit! You had 15 days in. Then, ok, you can quit so start again:) You may want to ask yourself what made you go on the bender in the first place? I know one of the challenges for me in my early days of sobriety was to get coping skills to stress, daily situations, etc. The fact that you want to quit, have a loving family and was able to go 15 days without are very positive steps to living a sober life. Please don't think about the 5 days you weren't sober. Move on from it:) So happy and proud of you to join in on the posts. We're here for you and have been there. It helps to talk about it.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, having supports in place so you won;t grab that drink helps. Perhaps discussing this with your Wife and talking to her for support when you feel like a drink can help? Also, AA meetings, 12 step programs and a number to call can help. Set a plan in place for yourself so you know what to do the next time you want to grab that drink. Whatever it is: Talking to your Wife, phoning a friend or helpline, watching TV or an activity you enjoy, taking a walk, etc.
Just throwing out some random suggestions that helped me. Different things work for different people. Would love to hear more from others on this post about what worked for them?
Also, would love to hear more about you, Wanttobepositve. Keep posting. It helps to talk and we're here for you:) You can do this! Recovery is possible!
My first post. Had 15 days then just went on 5 day bender I am an alcoholic. Want to quit for myself wife and daughter
Well said, rpoo! You are exactly right! Thank-you for the compliment on the post. KKc, it's so easy to get caught up in our relapsing and use. As rpoo said, if you are sober one day, claim it! That is sober time. Two years before I sobered up, I tried to quit, but just couldn't. At that time, I never, ever thought it would be possible to give up the drink. I also became a drug addict so a double whammy! Never quit, quitting. The fact that you recognize your problem is a huge step! As rpoo said, we are here to help. Reach out to us and never apologize for a post. That's what this forum is here for.
As ibizan asked, 12 step program or friends or loved ones you can reach out to? These help a lot. As I mentioned before, I made a promise to myself when I sobered up, grab the phone or friend before I grab a drink. I've had to do that many times in the beginning and trust me, after that you won;t grab that drink.
I completed a month of inpatient and outpatient treatment. To this day, I have a 24 hour line that I can call at any time to talk to a counselor or nurse. I haven't had to use it in the last few years. However, that tattered card with the 800 number is still on me, just in case.
The Holidays are tough for many people and for many reasons. Even though I got five years under my belt, I still have some challenging moments during the holidays. I've become realistic and honest with myself on what I can and cannot handle. If I'm socializing and the drinking around me gets too much, it gets too much and I politely excuse myself. I always put my sobriety and well being first!
There are AA and NA meetings everywhere and numbers to call. You also have this forum. We're here and we're listening. We've been there. There are also many people on here who are where you are at right now. One thing I learned from AA is to pay it forward. Help others to help themselves. Let's help each other.
Keep posting!
As ibizan asked, 12 step program or friends or loved ones you can reach out to? These help a lot. As I mentioned before, I made a promise to myself when I sobered up, grab the phone or friend before I grab a drink. I've had to do that many times in the beginning and trust me, after that you won;t grab that drink.
I completed a month of inpatient and outpatient treatment. To this day, I have a 24 hour line that I can call at any time to talk to a counselor or nurse. I haven't had to use it in the last few years. However, that tattered card with the 800 number is still on me, just in case.
The Holidays are tough for many people and for many reasons. Even though I got five years under my belt, I still have some challenging moments during the holidays. I've become realistic and honest with myself on what I can and cannot handle. If I'm socializing and the drinking around me gets too much, it gets too much and I politely excuse myself. I always put my sobriety and well being first!
There are AA and NA meetings everywhere and numbers to call. You also have this forum. We're here and we're listening. We've been there. There are also many people on here who are where you are at right now. One thing I learned from AA is to pay it forward. Help others to help themselves. Let's help each other.
Keep posting!
Great topic and post ExPat!
KKc, you’re seeing it wrong. If you are sober today then day one starts! Claim it! If you’re going to claim any part of sobriety claim the beginning and be proud of it, it is the hardest part. Once you have learned to live your life without it life begins a new routine and things become easier. Withdrawals are not the only challenge when someone choses sobriety, redesigning your lifestyle is equally important to maintaining sobriety. It is important to avoid the things/persons in your life that tempt you to drink. Finding new ways to manage your time is crucial for you to succeed. Never give up trying, before taking that next drink think about how you are going to feel about failure tomorrow. Call a friend, loved one or come here and post! Someone here will be glad to remind you why you shouldn't and why you try so hard. Think about the people you cannot fail including yourself.
This community is filled with compassionate understanding people many of which have a lot of experience with what you are going through and love an opportunity to help whenever possible. Happy Holidays to Everyone!
Randy
KKc, you’re seeing it wrong. If you are sober today then day one starts! Claim it! If you’re going to claim any part of sobriety claim the beginning and be proud of it, it is the hardest part. Once you have learned to live your life without it life begins a new routine and things become easier. Withdrawals are not the only challenge when someone choses sobriety, redesigning your lifestyle is equally important to maintaining sobriety. It is important to avoid the things/persons in your life that tempt you to drink. Finding new ways to manage your time is crucial for you to succeed. Never give up trying, before taking that next drink think about how you are going to feel about failure tomorrow. Call a friend, loved one or come here and post! Someone here will be glad to remind you why you shouldn't and why you try so hard. Think about the people you cannot fail including yourself.
This community is filled with compassionate understanding people many of which have a lot of experience with what you are going through and love an opportunity to help whenever possible. Happy Holidays to Everyone!
Randy
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sure it does dude!Do u have family?significant other 2 legged or 4?friends who don't use?go to 12 step or support group?holidays can be downers w/all the merry cheery cheesy music and mass advertised commercialism poop!And for folks w/chronic medical issues on a pain mgmt.program-what a dilemma!major clusterMUCK:) there!booze plus opiates for pain is a sure RX for a disaster......what is ur daily life like?talk to me...i'm listening!
Not to be adowner ,but ( well, most of yoaii heve considerably more sobriety than i do......nexto nothing actually,Was sober for awhile, then life intervened and here i sit. On this pain mngt program,so i never claim clean or sober time. Turned out, booze is killer for wdraws......so im on this seemingly endless merry go round.....only im getting real tired....i guess that has nothing to do with the holidays,,,sorry....time for me to go on my merry way....yall be good,feel good and i wish you nothing but the best........kk
Yes, we are! We are proof that there is joy and a much better life after recovery:)
COMMUNITY LEADER
Cool!we're both on the same page w/all of this!my peace,serenity and sanity is foremost as well!
So sorry to hear about your Dad's passing and your Mom's dementia. I am so fortunate to have both of my Parents in their health right now. I agree about the boredom at parties part. Being a professional and having to network, it's unavoidable sometimes. I do usually leave a little early. I can only tolerate the drinking for so long. Once I start to get uncomfortable and bored, I politely excuse myself. I totally hear your on that one! I, too, love cranberry gingerale! I also like to watch movies, listen to music and avoid the commercialism of the holidays. I like to savour the quiet moments and be grateful for another sober year that has past. My recovery is always number one! So I tend to put that first and foremost when making my holiday plans:)
COMMUNITY LEADER
IHolidays are very different for me since the passing of my dad in 2006 and my mom's dementia with not knowing who any of us are anymore.Sibling relationships are fractured w/a few of them fighting over an estate-noted my mom is still alive!I used to go to very few parties past-i'd stay for the delicious food then leave when the drinking started-it bored me and still does to this day.So I've found myself since 2006 savoring the peace and quiet that i take amidst all the mass commercialism and frenzy.I find my quiet space in my home w/my wonderful 4 legged family members,good movies, my music collection, good food and my cranberry ginger ale and i toast a new year....and have another thanksgiving...always reflecting on what I have to be grateful for......and my recovery is number one!:)
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