The following is from the Alcoholics Anonymous book written in l939, and still so true today. I hope you'll take a minute to read these few paragraphs that deal with the age old question "Am I an alcoholic?" If you want to read more, Google Big Book of AA and you can find it on line. Please read this; I think you'll be glad you did, not matter what your personal "answer" to the question might be. Take care,
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Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so.
As many have said to me, it's difficult to define alcoholism. Do you feel like you have a problem? I'm in a similar boat as you. Do you feel like it's interfering with your life. I do not want to rule out alcohol for the rest of my life...I just want to get it under control (I black out every weekend). I used to get horrible hangovers, but now I take my klonopin for them. Not sure if that's a blessing or a curse. Anyway, I hope we both figure things out soon. Good luck :)
No, I wasn't. But, I would drink fairly frequently.
I can have two to four beers and be cool during the week. Go to bed fine. That doesn't effect work at all. But, I do go out on weekends hard, typically... if in a social scene. The truth is I love to party on weekends. But, I also get a little social anxiety so I sometime have a few too many on the weekends. Anyway, that happened this past weekend. And the next day I felt like ****. Very Very anxious (I have some problems with panic attacks). So, I decided to stop. I have no problem stopping. And I have no problem having a few.
I just want to know if I am by definition fitting the description, or if I "may" be going overboard on cutting out alcohol for the rest of my life. Maybe cutting down consumption on the weekends is a good first step? I don't know. I'm just confused.
I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I didn't drink for two weeks, and then last night I had one, and it turned into two bottles of wine...i had to beg one of my friends to come over so that I wasn't technically "drinking alone"...Were you drinking every day prior to deciding to quit?