Aa
What made you quit drinking?
I know a lot of you have read my posts and know my struggle with alcohol. I'm just wondering what made you decide to quit? I haven't quit completely, but have cut down quit a bit. We had a great weekend with the kids, I didn't drink Fri night and only had two drinks on Sat. I'm not fooling myself and know that I'm an alcoholic. It's strange how it works with me, I can almost feel the demon inside of me being present some days before I even take that first drink. I know my husband has been affected by my drinking. My kids aren't aware yet that mom gets "different" in fact my oldest son who is 10yrs old asked me the other day if I have ever been drunk. Bless his little innocent heart!!
My point in this post is that I know my husband and kids deserve to have a wife and mom who can be her very best. I don't feel I'm my best when I'm obsessing about whether I will drink today or not. So why can't I quit? I don't drink every day and when I do drink these days I control it for the most part. My husband and I have a very strong relationship and while he has been hurt in the past it's not something that he dwells on these days. I came home from work the other day to a nice plate of cheese and a nice bottle of wine that he bought just for me. We sat and had a couple cocktails and dinner and had a nice evening. The kids went to bed, my hubby went to bed and I sat up and finished the bottle of wine while watching tv and then went to bed. I didn't get crazy or feel bad the next day. I haven't blacked out in a while so I feel ok right now. BUT, I know it is a matter of time before the demon gets out of control and I'm crying and asking myself why? Why did you get so drunk? Why did you make an *** out of yourself and let other people see you that way? You are an intelligent, fun, happy, pretty and kind hearted person who has so much going for her so WHY????
I'd appreciate some insight friends!
Thank you!!
My point in this post is that I know my husband and kids deserve to have a wife and mom who can be her very best. I don't feel I'm my best when I'm obsessing about whether I will drink today or not. So why can't I quit? I don't drink every day and when I do drink these days I control it for the most part. My husband and I have a very strong relationship and while he has been hurt in the past it's not something that he dwells on these days. I came home from work the other day to a nice plate of cheese and a nice bottle of wine that he bought just for me. We sat and had a couple cocktails and dinner and had a nice evening. The kids went to bed, my hubby went to bed and I sat up and finished the bottle of wine while watching tv and then went to bed. I didn't get crazy or feel bad the next day. I haven't blacked out in a while so I feel ok right now. BUT, I know it is a matter of time before the demon gets out of control and I'm crying and asking myself why? Why did you get so drunk? Why did you make an *** out of yourself and let other people see you that way? You are an intelligent, fun, happy, pretty and kind hearted person who has so much going for her so WHY????
I'd appreciate some insight friends!
Thank you!!
Three simple steps Runner, you have nothing to fear. Once you pick up on your own excuses not being enough, you'll follow suit. You'll lose the compulsion to drink. Are you sure that's what you want?
I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time taking the first step. I'm wondering if , when you're opening dialogue, that you are unwittingly comparing yourself to others that drink everyday, or those who have absolutely neglected or abused their children before they quit. In your own words, your child asked you if you have ever been drunk, and it seemed that you got from that, that your child is unaware of your alcoholism. In fact, he may have asked because he does sense that there is something coming in between him and your full attention.
The thing is, that you are a black out drunk. Nothing more needs to be said. You cannot un ring this bell. You will never be able to drink moderately again. In fact, at the end of your alcoholism, you will lose your tolerance and get in worse shape quicker, every time you drink. Where in the beginning you can drink more than anyone else, in the end , you will drink far less than anyone else. Once a black out drinker, always a black out drinker.
I have to bring myself back to the days I was drinking, when thinking about it. I remember thinking, I still have some room to play, until I have to quit. Well , unbeknownst to me, what I was prolonging was hell, and what I was missing, was heaven. Don't worry too much about missing your friends, because when you do get clean and sober, (and I think you will because of your kids.....), when you finally make the decision to do whatever it takes to get sober, you will be re - socializing yourself with others who are doing the same things as yourself, and for the same reasons. I think you need to truly give AA a chance. Please don't worry about what other people think. I don't think you are shallow by doing so, I think you're coming up with any excuse you can not to be "all in". Quitting requires you to be "ALL IN" . That's where you're at right now. You desperately need the program to make sense of how you're feeling. In the first year it is imperative that you "go to any lengths" for your sobriety. It is a huge gift that you would be giving to your family. You must take great risks for great rewards. If I've met anyone that needs the program more than you, it was a long long time ago. God Speed Runner You know you're an alcoholic. You need to be working on these three steps, and keep it simple. Use the power of the group of AA for these purposes, if God eludes you.
We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
xo Liz
The thing is, that you are a black out drunk. Nothing more needs to be said. You cannot un ring this bell. You will never be able to drink moderately again. In fact, at the end of your alcoholism, you will lose your tolerance and get in worse shape quicker, every time you drink. Where in the beginning you can drink more than anyone else, in the end , you will drink far less than anyone else. Once a black out drinker, always a black out drinker.
I have to bring myself back to the days I was drinking, when thinking about it. I remember thinking, I still have some room to play, until I have to quit. Well , unbeknownst to me, what I was prolonging was hell, and what I was missing, was heaven. Don't worry too much about missing your friends, because when you do get clean and sober, (and I think you will because of your kids.....), when you finally make the decision to do whatever it takes to get sober, you will be re - socializing yourself with others who are doing the same things as yourself, and for the same reasons. I think you need to truly give AA a chance. Please don't worry about what other people think. I don't think you are shallow by doing so, I think you're coming up with any excuse you can not to be "all in". Quitting requires you to be "ALL IN" . That's where you're at right now. You desperately need the program to make sense of how you're feeling. In the first year it is imperative that you "go to any lengths" for your sobriety. It is a huge gift that you would be giving to your family. You must take great risks for great rewards. If I've met anyone that needs the program more than you, it was a long long time ago. God Speed Runner You know you're an alcoholic. You need to be working on these three steps, and keep it simple. Use the power of the group of AA for these purposes, if God eludes you.
We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
xo Liz
COMMUNITY LEADER
Thx for the POWERFUL message!so sorry u had to endure what u did in ur childhood and i know not all foster homes are the Cleavers!opiates are the BIOTCH to kick.......hope ur free from their evil!
I am a child of TWO PARENTS who were alcoholics and that's why I rarely drink. I got caught up in the twisted web of pills but alas, that is a different story for a different day. I want to tell you a little bit about how it felt being me, the child of the alcoholic.. My birth mother (I will explain why I call her this in a moment) was a beautiful vibrant 17 year old who had already at that young age been drinking heavily for a few years. She got pregnant with me as a result from a drunken one night stand. Luckily she knew my dads full name or I may have never met him ( I did when I was 12 btw) anyways so my B.M had me and luckily I was a fat healthy baby (she went on to have more children who weren't so lucky) in fact one of my sisters weighed less than 2 pounds at birth because I. Guess the only thing my bm thought she could keep down during her pregnancy was beer or booze. Ok so when I was 2 she dropped my sister off in the middle of a very busy metro city street. She was drunk and couldn't afford toys so I guess she figured we should literally play in traffic. Somehow I got my sister and I into a bar and asked someone to feed my little sister. Of course you can guess what happened next... We ended up in a foster home (several before one of my bm relatives took us in) I wish that I could say the misery ended there BC how much could a two year old possibly remember right? Had it ended their I might have been ok. A QUICK NOTE: NOT ALL FOSTER HOMES ARE SAFE PLACES FILLED WITH JUNE CLEAVER TYPES... We were probably safer playing in traffic but I will leave it at that. Fast forward to 5th grade.. I had spoke to my bm by telephone but hadn't seen her in years. She was ALWAYS PROMISING me that she was going to quit drinking and come for me. My little heart held on to that promise until it shattered when she broke it..ok so 5th grade field trip comes around and who comes staggering into my class offering to go with us and chaperone? Yep y guessed it! Of course the teacher wasn't going to let her go but the damage had been done! SHE CUSSED OUT MY TEACHER in front of my entire class, tripped..fell..couldnt get up and was screaming my name to help her. I was SO VERY ASHAMED to be the child of this person. I FELT LIKE IT WAS MY PERSONAL FAILURE..,ok..Fast forward to when I was 14 and she had me convinced she was sober.i moved 1300 miles away from the only home (although very abusive mentally,physically, and sexually) I had ever known. I get to her house after being driven across country and the first few hours were ok. It took approximately 6 hours from the time I got there until the time she was DRUNK OUT OF HER MIND. She began calling me every name in the book, accused me of trying to steal her husband (mind u I was 14 and didn't know her husband from Adam) etc..etc.. I cried myself to sleep. The next day she was so sorry and nothing like that would ever happen again she said. She also said she didn't remember alot of what had happened. I forgave... A couple weeks later (she drank EVERY single day) she decided to teach me a lesson by cutting herself all over her arms. She was drunk and bleeding EVERYWHERE... It was more than I could handle. I ran away ... I stayed with a girl I had met at school but eventually the cops found me. My bm sure managed to stay sober long enough to let the judge know that juvenile detention was the best thing for a girl like me. You know what? Jdc was much safer and calmer than "home" when I got out she decided I was free to come and go as I pleased. I won't bore you with the details but I was a 14 yr old kid so it was one bad choice after another. I started waiting tables and rented a room in an old ladies house until I saved enough money to get back to my original home. I've skipped alot of details I know but I'm trying to tell you and anyone who may care enough of my story that you will see some of the ways alcoholism affects kids. I know not everyone is mean, abusive, insulting, embarrassing or whatever word you want to insert while drunk...I KNOW THAT... I guess my point is that you. The parent are your childs hero and they are watching you... Children learn what they see and are exposed to. I think that when you are someone's hero that in and of itself should give you pause and make you evaluate things... I wish you the very best of luck... Your question was WHY DID I QUIT? BECAUSE I AM SOMEONE'S HERO and they are watching me..,
1000thanx for Your acknowledgements. I value Your opinion greatly!!
:):):):) back at You!!
Runner3
I kinda sorta keep throwing Your words back at You, but again I note in Your last post You said "I'm afraid to quit drinking because it has been such a big part of my life"
But rather, I think You are here because You are afraid to keep drinking.
You see the disappointment in Your Husband's eyes and You know You have hurt Him. You know You are not being the "best Mother You can be", You know You are not being "the best Wife You can be".
I believe in CHOICE and I believe in YOU!! I believe You can Choose to be sober and I believe You can Choose to be that "best Wife" and that "best Mother.
You mentioned Your kids are not aware yet. You deceive YourSelf. Your kids know. I "knew" at a very young age, I KNEW something was terribly wrong and it was!! Your Children are paying an emotional price NOW because of Your addiction. Alcoholism affects not only the abuser but every member of the Family is deeply hurt. Perhaps Your Children are not equipped to verbalize this to You as they are young - but I promise You, it will come. They are developing issues pertaining to Your drinking "problems" as I type this.
You've been reading here for some time Have You seen evidence of shame or embarassment from anyone here regarding Their sobriety? No, instead You see Happiness and Pride in Their achievement.
If You are "afraid" to be seen by people You know - perhaps You could attend an AA meeting in the next town?
There's a hole in my heart where my Mother is supposed to be. My Mother never recovered. She died an alcoholic. If only She had sobered at 43....... finally I could have known my Mother. Even when You are not actively drinking, alcohol remains in Your system for 72 hours. Do Your Children "really" know You??.... the You You REALLY are?? Do You know the real You??
Regards
Tink
:):):):) back at You!!
Runner3
I kinda sorta keep throwing Your words back at You, but again I note in Your last post You said "I'm afraid to quit drinking because it has been such a big part of my life"
But rather, I think You are here because You are afraid to keep drinking.
You see the disappointment in Your Husband's eyes and You know You have hurt Him. You know You are not being the "best Mother You can be", You know You are not being "the best Wife You can be".
I believe in CHOICE and I believe in YOU!! I believe You can Choose to be sober and I believe You can Choose to be that "best Wife" and that "best Mother.
You mentioned Your kids are not aware yet. You deceive YourSelf. Your kids know. I "knew" at a very young age, I KNEW something was terribly wrong and it was!! Your Children are paying an emotional price NOW because of Your addiction. Alcoholism affects not only the abuser but every member of the Family is deeply hurt. Perhaps Your Children are not equipped to verbalize this to You as they are young - but I promise You, it will come. They are developing issues pertaining to Your drinking "problems" as I type this.
You've been reading here for some time Have You seen evidence of shame or embarassment from anyone here regarding Their sobriety? No, instead You see Happiness and Pride in Their achievement.
If You are "afraid" to be seen by people You know - perhaps You could attend an AA meeting in the next town?
There's a hole in my heart where my Mother is supposed to be. My Mother never recovered. She died an alcoholic. If only She had sobered at 43....... finally I could have known my Mother. Even when You are not actively drinking, alcohol remains in Your system for 72 hours. Do Your Children "really" know You??.... the You You REALLY are?? Do You know the real You??
Regards
Tink
Hurrah!!
I did the thing I feared the most
Excuse me while I cheer
Now here I stand
A stronger soul
and all I've 'lost' is fear
I did the thing I feared the most
Excuse me while I cheer
Now here I stand
A stronger soul
and all I've 'lost' is fear
Thank you to those who have shared their stories with me. Thank you too for the wonderful thoughts and advice.
I know I'm in control when I don't drink. I know if I'm going to truly beat it I will need support. AA probably being the best. It just *****, sooo many people we hang out with drink. I'm scared that if I go to AA there will be someone there who knows me. I'm afraid to quit drinking because it has been such a big part of my life. Not a very positive one, but still a big part. And I do know that I will probably feel much better about myself and life in general without this constant fight within myself.
Nighthawk-- So much of what you say makes sense. Thank you!
I know I'm in control when I don't drink. I know if I'm going to truly beat it I will need support. AA probably being the best. It just *****, sooo many people we hang out with drink. I'm scared that if I go to AA there will be someone there who knows me. I'm afraid to quit drinking because it has been such a big part of my life. Not a very positive one, but still a big part. And I do know that I will probably feel much better about myself and life in general without this constant fight within myself.
Nighthawk-- So much of what you say makes sense. Thank you!
Reading back over Your prior posts I see that You seem to think You should be more in control because You have seen YourSelf go days and even 2 weeks without drinking.
What I see is that You ARE in control when You are not drinking and that You are relinquishing Your control when You decide to take that drink. No one is taking Your control from You - You are consciously/willingly relinquishing it!!
You have choices - To be in control - or NOT to be in control, are choices.
To drink - or NOT to drink, are choices
for an alcoholic:
One drink is too many because one drink is not enough
What I see is that You ARE in control when You are not drinking and that You are relinquishing Your control when You decide to take that drink. No one is taking Your control from You - You are consciously/willingly relinquishing it!!
You have choices - To be in control - or NOT to be in control, are choices.
To drink - or NOT to drink, are choices
for an alcoholic:
One drink is too many because one drink is not enough
You're looking for strength of character, to get you to a point of asking for help with your quitting. You need strength to admit you're weak.
You have a wonderful family, and a great life, but you need to admit to yourself and another that things aren't so great.
You're worried that someone may see you in a meeting, when in fact, if they do, they will regard you with respect for not caring what people think.
Getting confused reading this? This is your situation.
Honey, you need to Keep It Simple , and after knowing you for awhile now, these three statement are just for you to think about.....
You Cannot Save Your A S S and Your Face At The Same Time,
You are not responsible for your disease, but you are responsible for your behavior.
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
Those of us that no longer have the compulsion to drink are praying for you Runner. We are praying for you to lose the compulsion to drink. With a little work, you'll be where we are. Living Happily with no further regrets.
You have a wonderful family, and a great life, but you need to admit to yourself and another that things aren't so great.
You're worried that someone may see you in a meeting, when in fact, if they do, they will regard you with respect for not caring what people think.
Getting confused reading this? This is your situation.
Honey, you need to Keep It Simple , and after knowing you for awhile now, these three statement are just for you to think about.....
You Cannot Save Your A S S and Your Face At The Same Time,
You are not responsible for your disease, but you are responsible for your behavior.
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
Those of us that no longer have the compulsion to drink are praying for you Runner. We are praying for you to lose the compulsion to drink. With a little work, you'll be where we are. Living Happily with no further regrets.
J&B Scotch by the half gallon made me quit drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous helped me to see that quitting and recovery are two entirely different paths to follow. I found that quitting made me miserable in the long run. I'd sit and crave...and soon I'd be back to the liquor store and bars. But when I decided to make a commitment and try AA and the path they laid out for all us alcoholics to follow... to a life of peace and serenity... that became recovery. Life still happens, what I deem good and what I deem bad, but I've learned to come to terms with life with the acceptance I've learned in recovery. But any recovery program only works if you work it.
I was moved by Your last statement "I wish I knew who the best of me was....."
You are the one (the Only one) who holds the key. The thing that is holding You back from knowing the "best of You" is the alcohol.
You say that You "know Your Husband and Kids deserve to have a Wife and Mom who can be Her very best". Well, You are the one (the Only one) who can give them that.
You say it's only a "matter of time before the "demon" gets out of control". Well, I think You might control the "demon" by realizing it's not a "demon" but rather it's Your own inner voice and that You DO have control.
You might try telling YourSelf: " I am an alcoholic...... but I have decided to control IT, not let IT control me. I am the one in charge here and I am the one who makes the decision to drink or not"
Good Luck, Runner3 from the bottom of my heart.
You are the one (the Only one) who holds the key. The thing that is holding You back from knowing the "best of You" is the alcohol.
You say that You "know Your Husband and Kids deserve to have a Wife and Mom who can be Her very best". Well, You are the one (the Only one) who can give them that.
You say it's only a "matter of time before the "demon" gets out of control". Well, I think You might control the "demon" by realizing it's not a "demon" but rather it's Your own inner voice and that You DO have control.
You might try telling YourSelf: " I am an alcoholic...... but I have decided to control IT, not let IT control me. I am the one in charge here and I am the one who makes the decision to drink or not"
Good Luck, Runner3 from the bottom of my heart.
Are you dealing with a good therapist that can deal with your issues of past that you are self medicating for? Because that's a game changer and an absolute must for any addict? The best of you is just you, minus the compulsion to drink......
I know what I need to do. I just need to find the strength to do it. I have been self medicating with alcohol since I was a teenager. I don't know any different. To me not drinking is such a big deal, but in hind sight I know that once I live without it for a while it will get easier. I look at my kids everyday and think they deserve the best of me. I wish I knew who the best of me was....
As per your question, when? My son was 12 when I finally flew right. He was damaged and still is. I can never take away once ounce of pain I caused. I wish I had of done it before he knew about it, He would have been so proud ~
Gee ;) Hey Runner, I know that you know , you should quit. But because your actually being able to fool your husband into thinking that it might be okay if you try to drink normally, by you seem to know better than that. All i can say is this, as a mother, if I could only go back to the time when my son didn't know I was an alcoholic, I would do almost anything. The biggest sadness that a kid can feel in this hectic fast moving, dangerous world is that one or more of their parent's has a problem with substance abuse. It colors their world in ways you can't imagine (even if you were that kid who had parent's who were ever out of control). Why take a chance with your kids, to where they have issues because one of their parent's is doing something that they would not want them to do? That's too confusing for kids. If you go to parties and act out with the booze, it changes YOU for them. They can sense that something's not right, and then one day they'll recognize that there seems to be some sort of elephant in the room.
You seem to know that not quitting is going to bite you in the ***, right? So, when you're kids are older, you're going to have to quit something, and they will be aware of the effort. Do you want your kids to know that you quit drinking when they were young? Or , do you want your kids to know that their Mom took, 10 or 15 years to quit something that she knew she was going to have to quit anyways? You have to ask yourself, Pay Me Now or Pay Me Later, When's the best time to quit? Before my kids know I have a problem, or after? You're in a really good position right now to get that elephant out of the room. Your husband sounds like a sweetie, but he knows and you know he's enabling you. Do him a favor and LET HIM KNOW IT'S OKAY, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO ENABLE YOU ANYMORE. You can do this, You know how, and your getting to it. (AA meetings, online whatever way you want to go). Get it done~ Don't take advantage of your husband because he's a softy. Be more responsible than that. At the meetings you'll quickly learn that it's up to you to cut your sources, and that includes your husband. Do it for your kids , now, while you're still a hero in their eyes. You can be an alcoholic and still be the hero. All you have to do , is say it to yourself, I WILL DO THIS FOR MY KIDS BEFORE THEY KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. Then, when they are old enough to learn about drug and alcohol addiction, YOU , THEIR HERO can say. I did have a problem, but I quit when you were 3 years old, or 5 years old or whatever. YOU CAN BE THEIR HERO FOR REAL. But an addict's mind will always try to justify to themselves that just one more drink won't matter, until it does...... Please do the 12 step program while you're doing your meetings, You'll stop your husband from enabling you. It's not really up to him. right? It's up to you . Peace to you . xo
You seem to know that not quitting is going to bite you in the ***, right? So, when you're kids are older, you're going to have to quit something, and they will be aware of the effort. Do you want your kids to know that you quit drinking when they were young? Or , do you want your kids to know that their Mom took, 10 or 15 years to quit something that she knew she was going to have to quit anyways? You have to ask yourself, Pay Me Now or Pay Me Later, When's the best time to quit? Before my kids know I have a problem, or after? You're in a really good position right now to get that elephant out of the room. Your husband sounds like a sweetie, but he knows and you know he's enabling you. Do him a favor and LET HIM KNOW IT'S OKAY, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO ENABLE YOU ANYMORE. You can do this, You know how, and your getting to it. (AA meetings, online whatever way you want to go). Get it done~ Don't take advantage of your husband because he's a softy. Be more responsible than that. At the meetings you'll quickly learn that it's up to you to cut your sources, and that includes your husband. Do it for your kids , now, while you're still a hero in their eyes. You can be an alcoholic and still be the hero. All you have to do , is say it to yourself, I WILL DO THIS FOR MY KIDS BEFORE THEY KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. Then, when they are old enough to learn about drug and alcohol addiction, YOU , THEIR HERO can say. I did have a problem, but I quit when you were 3 years old, or 5 years old or whatever. YOU CAN BE THEIR HERO FOR REAL. But an addict's mind will always try to justify to themselves that just one more drink won't matter, until it does...... Please do the 12 step program while you're doing your meetings, You'll stop your husband from enabling you. It's not really up to him. right? It's up to you . Peace to you . xo
I came home from work the other day to a nice plate of cheese and a nice bottle of wine that he bought just for me. We sat and had a couple cocktails and dinner and had a nice evening. The kids went to bed, my hubby went to bed and I sat up and finished the bottle of wine while watching tv and then went to bed.
Honey, a non alcoholic probably would've gone to bed , hand in hand, at the same time as their husband after a lovely romantic evening. An alcoholic would stay up and finish off the bottle. I know you're trying so hard, you have to be since you're not getting drunk. Since you are trying to drink sensibly, why not try to leave the rest of the bottle in the fridge and go to bed. If you're trying to control your drinking, judge yourself on whether you can leave an open bottle of wine?
.
Honey, a non alcoholic probably would've gone to bed , hand in hand, at the same time as their husband after a lovely romantic evening. An alcoholic would stay up and finish off the bottle. I know you're trying so hard, you have to be since you're not getting drunk. Since you are trying to drink sensibly, why not try to leave the rest of the bottle in the fridge and go to bed. If you're trying to control your drinking, judge yourself on whether you can leave an open bottle of wine?
.
COMMUNITY LEADER
WHOA!ur hub brings u wine knowing ur an alcoholic?OMG!lack of acceptance @ ur disease plus enabling!why did i quit?i always say i'm grateful to my dual addiction to drugs....particulary the benzos for the withdrawal from these PLUS the alcohol when i'd quit for brief periods was agonizing.I got sick n'tired of being sick n'tired of my constant inability to control my drinking,blackouts,drunk driving,not being able to make it thru the day minus pot,or benzos or at the end cocaine.....AA has a great pamphlet-the Merry-Go-Round called Denial!and also the group of so called friends i surrounded myself with were drunks and dope fiends such as myself.i don't miss being a slave to all this but recovery is hard work...takes a lot of mental discipline on a hourly,daily basis.And many of us like the easier softer way!When i play the tape all the way to the end of what could happen should i pick up the first of anything.....this is well worth it!I had to accept...w/difficulty that i was a failure at so-called social drinking and controlled drug use...i have NO OFF switch!never have and never will!
I haven't blacked out in a while so I feel ok right now. BUT, I know it is a matter of time before the demon gets out of control and I'm crying and asking myself why? Why did you get so drunk? Why did you make an *** out of yourself and let other people see you that way?
It sounds like your husband is enabling you honey. Has there been no education between the two of you?
It sounds like your husband is enabling you honey. Has there been no education between the two of you?
Many drinkers do so because they are actually self-medicating for something that hurts emotionally or even physically.. I used to drink A LOT, because, honestly, I was an undiagnosed mental case looking for something to make me feel better. It took TWENTY YEARS to figure this out, commit myself to mental wellness (6 days in a mental ward) to receive the specialized treatments I required, counseling, life-skills, coping, etc. I came away with medication appropriate for my diagnoses (4 of them), and have not had a drink since. I feel like a 'normal' person, finally. I am liberated. This may not be what your case is, but it is my story, anyway. Blessings - Blu
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Alcoholism Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
