aa and still drinking

[TJack]

I have attended 3 aa meetings and i have gotten alot out of them, but i still continue to binge to the point of no return about 2 or 3 nights a week.  I am so sick of me.  I know i have got to get a handle on this or it is going to kill me.
I know i need to pick one of the women who raises their hand, when asked if anyone would be willing to be a sponsor.  I am determined to do this soon, next meeting.   It just seems so easy to get a couple of bottles of wine and numb myself.  Within the last 6 mos. i have scared myself so many times.  Don't remember what i did or said the next day.  I just feel so worthless.  I have got to do this for me, my family and especially my little granddaughters.
Please Dear God help me to make it through this.   Ibizan, you always have such inspiring words.   Any thoughts for me.  Thanks everyone.  This site has been so great, at least i know i am not alone.   I have also confided to 6 of my closest friends.  I know they are praying for me and I don't want them to know that i keep screwing up.   Tjack

[phsycodog]

Ha, hadn't heard that one. Nice. I'll go enjoy my testosterone then...

[rpooo]

Phsycodog,
Oh dont worry you don't need to get in touch with your femine side here. We are men and we do what we want - unless Ibizzy says not to! he he

I have tried some of my bear hug tatics and roaring but all I get is a pat and a smile and a have a nice day! lol

(Ever heard this joke?)

Bear and a rabbit side by side, taking a sh** in the woods.

Bear looks over at the rabbit and asks "do you ever have a problem with sh** sticking to your furr?"

Rabbit says "No not at all, why?"

The bear picks him up and wipes his a** with him!

Rpoobear!

[rpooo]

I doubt going to AA meetings in violation with his probation. His PO officer can better advise him. Don't do anything that violates probation without first getting permission. They would probably like that he is seeking further help.

Randy

[ibizan]

yes this one is vague...many are...then we ask for clarification and they may..or may not...come back on and post... AND.ur doing very well dealing w/all the floating estrogen!:)

[phsycodog]

Maybe it's all the estrogen floating around, all I wanted to do was lend my support, but I can't make heads or tails as to whether you're doing good, bad, neither, or both? I'm just trying to be the caring, sensitive, in touch with my female side, type of male I'm not. Are we good? Or should I just shut up and slink away? ibizan can vouch for me, I'm not a bad guy.

[ibizan]

has he ever gone to detox and inpatient for his alcoholism?

[BB45319]

My spouse drinks, benge drinks every few months, then stops. He got a dwi 2 years ago, wants to go back to meetings, but if afraid his probation will be revoked. Help

[ibizan]

i think ur merging my shorthand.."dug em!then a u....looks like emlu!i hate wakin gup at that hour..happens 2 me 2....overactive brain....i am in Ohio..midwest!

[TJack]

Hey, right back at you.  I woke at 3:30 pacific time.  I hate it when that happens.
Makes for a long day.  That's when i usually mess up.  But, i am hanging tough today.
Thanks for your good thoughts.  Hope you have a good day, and you are right one hour at a time.  i may be kind of foggy this morning,  but what is emlu?   Are you on the west coast?

[ibizan]

Good morning LADY!:)wow way cool prayers for me...ur making this a good day..i need all i can get 2.....thought of u guys this morn during my meditation time with strong cup of coffee....i still like one hour atta time....i find breaking things down in2 manageable pieces is better.....womens meetings r a good thing!i sure dug em!u keep hanging in there..it does get better..it really does!

[TJack]

You girls and Jacker are great cheerleaders.  I just go to womens meetings Lily.  Maybe that would work best for you too.  I am also fighting with insurance company trying to get private therapy.  
Well today is a new day.  I am trying to take one day at a time.  Hopefully we all make it through this day with God's help and do nothing stupid.  I am including you 3 in my prayers.  

[ibizan]

wouldn't it be cool if all us met and had our own meeting?well we're having it here...cyber meeting.yes tjack 2 morrow another day...give the brain a rest....u 2 lily and no more driving in tornadoes....jeez girl!the best way 2 forgive urself for the past is not 2 repeat it tomorrow....sleep tight all....and 2 morrow nother day!prayers for u all!

[lilyput]

girl, go get yourself a sponsor! and go to the meetings every day. maybe even twice a day if you have to. oh, and make sure your sponsor is a woman. heh...i've gotten myself into an emotional pickle today having a male sponsor.

i too stopped drinking because i was sick and tired of being sick and tired. that, and i was sabotaging just about every part of my life. alcohol is amazingly potent with me. i lost all sense of logic, reason, and impulse control. no other drug does that to me....it's EVIL!

sending you good vibes! :)

lily

[TJack]

I will give it another shot in the morning when my brain if fresh, well sort of ha ha.
Your group of friends sounds like ours.  Some of them don't even drink and i am about the only one that usually was or i should say always was having too much.   Keep posting.  thanks.

[Jacker]

yeah, I turned around recently, and noticed that most of my friends drink in moderation- I was the only one getting plastered.  I have neighbors and aquaintances that get drunk a lot, but my friends are generally in control - they may have a few too many on a special occasion, but I was the only one getting drunk all the time.  I didn't notice this till I stopped drinking though.  Okay, I didn't notice A LOT of stuff until I stopped drinking though.
So what's with these handles any way??,  - most of them aren't male or female, so it can be hard to tell some times.  Keep trying on the profile TJack, we're pulling for you (just kidding).  I'll look forward to you picture.  

[TJack]

okie dokie.  Yes, you two said it best.  sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Down and depressed for me too.   I just typed out a profile 2 times and lost it both times.  Don't know what i am doing wrong, but i will try again tomorrow.  I was trying to add a pic. also and lost it too. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr    I will stick with TJack  thanks Ibizan

[ibizan]

I stopped drinking/drugs for same reason jacker did....damn sick and tired of feeling sick n'tired!i felt like a backed up sewer....no u keep ur name......Aerosmith song in reverse......lady does not look like a dude!:)))

[TJack]

I like you am tired of feeling like ****.  Both mentally and physically.  Mostly mentally though.  I feel so worthless the day after and sometimes 2 days.  Just depressed and sick of myself.  I don't want that anymore.   I remember not that long ago having good days and being happy.  I want that back.  I want a fun summer with my granddaughters.
My friends are not drinkers, or i should say they might have a glass of two of wine and maybe none.  They say they will not drink around me now.  That makes me feel bad that they are changing their lives for me, when they have no problem.  I really appreciate your post.  You make alot of sense.  I use to be an abusive over eater, had gastric by pass and couldn't over eat anymore.  Had a couple more sugery's and the next thing i knew i was hooked on hydrocodone.  Went through a suboxone program and the wd's from that stuff was awful.  2 weeks of Hell.  Well, i switched to drinking then.  So that started about 7 mos. ago.  i never even wanted a drink while i was on hydros and subs.
Can we say additive prsonality?  yes indeed.  Anyway, i do appreciate your post and encouraging words.  thanks a bunch. Tjackie

[Jacker]

I wish I could give you an easy statement that would keep you from drinking, but I think everyone's reason for stopping is a little different.  I guess you have to figure out why you want to stop, and then you have to "cling" very hard to that reason.  In my case, I began to feel like **** all the time - not just hungover - physically aweful.  For years, I could drink all evening, pass out, have a morning cup of coffee, and go off to work.  I could even go for a morning run after all of this.  It seemed like things changed very quickly one day, and all of a sudden I felt like **** all the time.  Wanting to feel normal and healthy again was my reason to stop - I figured I could either go on a downward spiral or climb out of my hole and reclaim my life.  I always knew I was drinking too much, but as long as I could physically handle it, I was willing to keep doing it.  
I'm rambling here, but you need to find YOUR really important reason to stop and cling very hard to that reason.  Then, you can focus on more common sense items, like staying busy when you used to drink, and hanging around with sober people, etc. The common sense stuff is great, but you have to have a reason of your own - what is your major reason??  

[TJack]

No problem.   Probably a stupid handle for a woman.  Maybe i should go with tjackie?
ya think?

[ibizan]

damn i'm so sorry..thats the second time i've done that!duh.....!!!!!i'll blame it on my Youngzheimers!!!yes the womens meetings r good....so much u feel comfy discussing and yes a good female sponsor who walks what she talks would be way cool......again apologies.....Tjack IS a lady!:))))))

[TJack]

i'm not a dude.  i'm a gal.

[TJack]

i just go to the womens meetings.   i think i can relate to a woman better than a man.
i am, i pray sick and tired of it enough.  I hate myself.  Thank you for your prayers.
I need all of those i can get.  A miracle would be GREAT!  Thanks Hon

[ibizan]

No women sponsors dude...get a guy!too much trouble can happen as u c with lilyput here.guess ur not sick and tired of being sick and tired?hope it comes soon 4 u b4 something really bad happens!ur on my prayer list!:)