I posted a little while ago, but I have another issue hanging out there. I am trying to do the best for myself, counseling, nutrition, exercise, etc. I had a bad week last week and both my counselors suggested I go to detox, even though I've been there three times before. The difference between now and then is that the first time I went, I couldn't write my name and I tried to be enthusiastic about their programs.
Although I have no trouble writing now, I am sleepwalking and falling in the middle of the night. I have also become an "angry drunk" who refuses help. I truly hated every moment of detox when I went before. This is solely because the place they want me to go to now has 12-step program meetings and group therapy during the week. I hate both of these concepts. I also couldln't eat the food because I am a vegetarian. I can barely talk about my problems to anyone in person. I know this therapy is helpful to many and I don't discourage detox for anyone who needs it. However, the last time I went, I literally didn't sleep at all, did not eat and could not bring myself to participate in anything. I feel, though, that by going, my family who is hurt by my long term problem, would feel so much better if I went. I was scheduled to go today and I cancelled. My parents and siblings are devestated. In fact, writing this is making me cry. I wonder if I should suck it up and go for four or five days.