anxiety and excessive worrying

[rainforestt]

Since I was young (I'm going to college soon), I have always worried about things. I get really nervous and feel nauseous when I'm put into a new situation and I get really scared. I especially get nervous when it comes to eating outside of my home. I feel fine at home, but when I have to eat outside, I start worrying about feeling nauseous like I have in the past and usually end up feeling nauseous. I even used to throw up all the time in elementary school because I always worried. I never go to sleepovers or overnight activities for  fear of having to eat outside my home. My anxiety has ruined so much of my life already because I tend to avoid situations that make me nervous. All throughout high school, I worried so much about stuff like my piano recitals, dance performances, and conferences or competitions for clubs I was in and usually threw up the morning before and often didn't go. For that reason, I later tended to avoid these situations, limiting myself even more. And even when on vacation with my family, I have trouble eating outside and it ruins the vacation. I wish I could just be normal, but when I talk to my parents they just don't understand. They have never pressured me to do anything and they've been wonderful parents, but I've just been stuck by myself all this time. And now I'm so scared about college. I want to go to one of the better schools I got into, but I don't know if I'll be able to eat there without worrying. I don't want to be stuck at home all my life. I've done so well in school and I feel like my anxiety is limiting my possibilities. It's already ruined most of my life, and I just need some advice before it's too late. I want the rest of my life to be better than this. Thank you.

[nursegirl6572]

Just an FYI...I noticed that this thread is over a year old, which is fine...others will gain insight from the posts..but as for the OP...he/she may be long gone (hopefully chowing down on pizza and enjoying the heck out of college life!)

:0)

[JSGeare]

Now see what you've gone and done?

Started a fight! I'm kidding you, of course; because what has happened here is that folks have gone off topic, inspired, as they were, by your story, to tell you their own and suggest amazing cures, etc.

But let's get back down to cases, here. For now, your symptoms are all about putting food in your mouth when you are out of your home. Regardless of what meds may help calm you down  a bit, you already know that this is a royal nuisance, to say the least, because eating is not just a nutritional thing, but a social thing as well; you usually eat with freinds, talk, etc.

I hope you will consult with a shrink about this, to figure out what's behind it all, but meanwhile, here are some ideas. First of all, while your "issue" may appear at the surface as "eatoutaphobia" or whatever, there is some chances that what's driving the aversion may actually be somewhat remote from the appearance we observe. Read my journal entitled "The Stain on the Floor" which is my lame attempt to explain this.

Now, some questions for you. Is "home" portable? By this I mean, if, for example, you and your family take a trip to Disney World, would you THEN be able to eat in your room at the resort -but not at a restauant? That is, what defines "home" or safety? And suppose you took a little sack of nuts or M&M's or some snack you really like along with you when you went out. Could you munch some of them while walking in the park, or driving by yourself? It is all about solid food? What about orange juice or a cola or water or a social drink like beer (if you are of age) -when in the company of others? Same problem?

I had a co-worker of mine, years ago, who had what seemed to me to be a very peculiar set of aversions and interests. She and her mother could ONLY eat take-out food. Seriously. They patronized every drive-in and carry out place in town. And they HAD to eat in the car -the food never went home. And as they ate and drove, they would visit funeral parlors for viewings of people they didn't even know. They carried a newspaper with them to make sure they hit all the homes with viewings or receptions -every day! And IN their home, everything -and I mean EVEYTHING- was covered in clear vinyl protective covers: the furniture, the lamp shades, the tables! The floors were of a rich carpet -covered with plastic drop cloths! So was the kitechen floor; palstci over vinyl. And they thought EVERYONE ELSE was a bit "off."

You, obviously, are not at that point and you know you are missing out because of your "problem." So get with the shrink, and get some help with this. You'll get it licked (so to speak). Bon appetite!

[zaferanx]

Try to understand worry, do not hate worry or fear. The basic purpose of these two emotions is to help us out and keep us away from any harm. The best way i have found to help my self is to talk to my fear and worry. Just become good friends of your fears and tell them "You are hurting me rather than helping me out", you will wonder how fast they will go. Do not hate yourself, solution is within you it is just the matter of time when you get it.
Zafer
zafer.***@****

[azqtpies]

Would  you GIVE IT UP Please!!!!! not everyone can go to clinics..... Please stay off the cap letters, it really does send a wrong message. People come on here to ask for genuine help!  So please give som egood advice.. and not your solicitation =

[suzi-q]

It is a real bummer when anxiety ruins good things in your life and things that should be enjoyable and fun. My suggestion?  Get to a psychiatrist who can help you with these issues.  There IS help out there and there is no reason why you should have to live like this.  I suffer from chronic anxiety also and it has made me avoid some good times in my life and it bothers me.  I now take medication and have improved tremendously.  I am able to live a fairly normal life.  I still get some anxiety and it does hinder some things in my life, but not like the past.  You are young and have so much ahead of you.  Don't let the anxiety compromise your life.  You can beat it with hard work and professional help!

[sparkeler]

Are you on any medication for your anxiety?  I would also discuss this with a doctor.  Alot of people have irrational fears/phobias manifested by something much deeper. It's not pleasant when it gets in the way of their everyday life .  You can do this, but it takes a little bit of work to get to the root of the problem...  

[debaser23]

I wish you'd stop with this.  Medication has its place.  Just because this Midwest Center has helped you doesn't mean it's the answer for everyone.

Medications don't "mask" problems.  They alleviate symptoms.  Often, they're ESSENTIAL.  When a person (with help from a pharmaceutical) can achieve even the slightest degree of clarity, sometimes they can "break through".  When things are going really bad for an anxiety sufferer, they need medications to slow their nervous system.  Only then can they concentrate on helping themselves.

Again, I'm not saying pills are "the cure".  They're not.  For a lot of people they are keys that help unlock the cure, though.  Those who take medications and do nothing to improve their lifestyle or mental outlook are more than likely doomed to failure.

I'm just saying that you shouldn't encourage people to reject anything.  Anxiety sufferers already have the tendency to reject pharmacology even though it CAN help them.  Don't add to their problems.

[RockRose]

You're living a great life - you have dance,  piano, and other club competitions.  You've gotten into a great school.

Stop worrying about eating in public - eat at home,  and just get on with it!  Enjoy the successes you have made for yourself,  and if you can't bring yourself to eat in public,  take your meal home and claim to not be hungry,  and get on with your great life!

[magen7984]

try juse eating a little out like a piece of toast or some fruit. Not a whole meal take one bite if you have too and be done and say to your sself i did it and then maybe the next time take 2 or 3 bites and work your way up