Anxiety and Paranoia, need to overcome

[Sonia_Arjan]

Dear All,

I have a miniscule or even zero risk pregnancy risk situation. My bf fingered me with his dried fingers (after touching his penis, i was worried about pre-***) and he dried hump me and got my outer shorts wet with his pre-*** however i was wearing panties and a pad also.His penis came out of his underwear.  No penile penetration. We also have a rule that if one person is naked, the other should keep his/her lower clothes on. Many on the pregnancy forum told me I have zero risk and totally nothing to worry about. My boyfriend is very knowledgeable about sex and stuff and constantly reassures me that I had zero risk and that he would never put me in a position to worry as he knows I have anxiety issues. But it still gets to me. I just want to know tips from fellow anxiety sufferers or paranoia sufferers, how do you cope with this? can we possibly move on? its like I know I have no risk but like something holds me back and ***** me into a bottomless pit of misery. Then on the other hand, I have friends who sleep around unprotected and still are not worried the slightest bit. (I mean I'm not gonna be like them anytime soon, that's their business, but I feel its unfair for me to suffer mentally even after taking precautions.) I just want to get over this and be happy, carefree again. I know I can but something is holding me back. I'm appealing to anyone, everyone to help me. Give me some tips I can use. Thank You Thank You very much.

[Sonia_Arjan]

I think I was more worried about pregnancy risk than HIV risk.

[Sonia_Arjan]

I understand from your assessment of my situation that I have hyperinflated views on pregnancy and stds. I already told my partner to hold off sexual activities that may trigger my anxiety paranoia thoughts. I have also schedule to see a school psychologist (cos its free) and work from there. I will update you guys again. lastly thank you for taking the time. I feel much better and energised today after reminding myself I had no risk to begin with. Thank you again :)

[nursegirl6572]

I think you answered your own question when you said you are "not ready".  If you're not ready, then you're not ready.  You DO have very overinflated views about risks for pregnancy and HIV.  You were worried you could have gotten HIV from this event, even though we all told you, over and over it's imposible.

Do you have a history of anxiety?  Do you get anxious about other things?  If your anxiety is affecting your life (which it is), then you need to seek professional help for it.  Also, you need to better educate yourself on the FACTS behind pregnancy risks, and HIV/STD risks.  And, if you're viewing sex as a "chore", you absolutely shouldn't be doing it...or anything close to it, until you address these irrational thoughts.

Make yourself a doctor's appt and ask for some help.  Therapy may be sufficient to help you learn how to cope with these thoughts and worries.  Just don't do nothing.  Anxiety tends to get worse, rather than better, if it is left untreated.

[Sonia_Arjan]

I already gave it up. Pop my cherry once then I said no more. I'm just not ready for it yet and still worry

[allmymarbles]

Try giving up sex altogether and see if that works.

[Sonia_Arjan]

i need tips to get this paranoia, anxiety out of my way.

[Sonia_Arjan]

its true what you said about not being happy about sex or things sexual. i'm not exactly critical of people sleeping around, just wonder why they don't feel tense at all despite doing the whole deed unprotected etc. im not sure if its guilt. i draw the line at not having sex but i do like kiss, hug, dry hump and mutual masturbate. i mean i used to like all this, now they are like chores..i just reciprocate so that the other party won't feel bad. I don't like being like that, its not fair to the people around me.i just want to know how to be normal.

[allmymarbles]

Tips about what? Everyone knows how you get pregnant and how you don't. As for the anxiety, could that really be guilt? You don't sound too happy about sex (given the complex rules that take the joy out of it) and are critical of those who "sleep around."