8 year old's anxiety

[Debtjn]

I have an 8 year old who has been experiencing anxiousness.  He hasn't been wanting to go to school, complains of an upset stomach, feeling like he's going to throw up.....once he's there he's fine (I think).  Is this some type of separation anxiety.  I lay with him at night and he's having a probelm with me not doing that on certain nights....he wraps up in his blanket and says he's afraid of the dark...if I lay with him a few minutes then he's fine.  It seems to be maybe a ocd also?  when he tells me goodnight he says three things in the same order every night...
The school thing seems to be getting worse.  I had the principal walk him in yesterday and today he complained again of a stomach ache and we got to school and he said he had to go to the bathroom, so we came back home and he went a little and then cried when I said we were going back....he said his reading class is hard...he is a good reader and just took some reading assessments and passed all of them.  he watched the clock and it seems to be maybe his reading class...one day we went in late and it was after his reading class was over and he was fine.  I've spoken to the teach, who is a friend of mine, and I don't think it's her, it's maybe the work....I don't know what to do to help him get over this.  Any suggetions?

[Ariom63]

It is awful as parents and as grandparents to see any child suffer and not knowing what to do.  Good thing about reading the books, my daughter did it and it helps.  How long has this been going on?  Is he being bullied by any of the kids at school?  

With your love and being in a good enviroment I am sure he will be okay and this may just be a phase.  

if you ever need to talk...I am here!  I will be keeping you in my prayers.

[Debtjn]

Thank you so much.  Everything is fine at home.  He is very involved in playing baseball and is very good at pitching.  We have been very busy lately with the baseball and other activities with his sisters and he's been going to bed later than I'd like, so maybe it's the not going to bed early enough and that's interferring with his attention in school..I don't know. I tried the tough love this morning by telling him he just had to go to school and got him out the door....I've also been reading books on child anxiety and how to handle it with him...and we've been trying a lot of the things suggested in them, he is just so strong willed and it has been difficult to change his mindset. It does just break my heart to see him go through this and not know what to do and knowing he really doesn't know what's wrong. I too like your daughter don't want to bring him to a therapist, for I'm sure they'll want to medicate, so am trying to help him deal with it.
Thanks for the encouragement.

[Ariom63]

It is so awful when a child goes through this and they cannot help themselves.  However my granddaughter who is 8 yrs old..who visits with me every summer so her mommy can have a break did the same thing.  She would do this thing where she would start fidgeting, touching her neck and crying, not attending school and if she did my daughter would get vcalls from her school asking her to come in and see what they could do.  For the most part she took her out of school for a couple of days and took her to see her Ped., automatically he wanted to put her on meds..my daughter said..."No way in h&*(!!!!"  She is too young and I am going to help her get over this.  

My daughter is a very tough individual and did everything she could think of doing to help her get over this.  I took about 6 months but she did it.,  My daughter said it was alot of tough love and with the help of my granddaughters teacher...who was aware of what was going on after seeing it for herself and meeting with my daughter to come up with a plan.  My granddaughter would not socialize anymore, didn't want to sit with other children in her class for lunch...so she felt more comfortable sitting with her teacher.  At night she needed the TV on...so my daughter would let her watch it until she would fall asleep, but there would be many nights she would wake up crying and breathing really hard.  

After reading numerous books and talking to other parents they suggested that she put her in some activites...she started soccer and that helped, because it kept her mind occupied and when time time came...she would be so exhausted from school and practice that she would sleep all night long.  Finally the tummy aches stopped, the fidgeting stopped and she began to make lots of new friends.  Since then she has one episode ( that is what my daughter calls it) and she found that distracting her instead of comforting her made it go away.  She kept reassuring her though, nothing was wrong with her and with lots of love and patience she has overcome whatever fear it was.  

But I noticed this all started when my daughter was having difficulties in her relationship and my granddaughter picked up on it.  

Hope this helps.....but she is fine now!  has never missed another day of school again and is a beautiful angel always smiling.  

wishing you the best!