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Anxiety with my Massage experience

Hello forum,

I was on a different forum section and was answered but I guess with guilt and anxiety of thoughts of what ifs.

My experience is 3 months ago (Aug 16). My buddies took me to me a massage place as my bachelor party. I, in the pass did have sex with a ex no condom but tested accordingly and negative. Ive never had sex then until meeting my now wife.
I was told to go to the room while my friend discuss pricing. She told them no sex and only handjob to them while I was inside. While inside I never been to these places she told me to strip down and lay on my back. As she was massing my back I felt like what to be pokes——I guess this is where my what ifs are popping up. These pokes Idk why i keeping thinking did she inject me? I dont do drugs with a needle so if she did poke me did it need to be deep in like a flu shot? Or pain that would hurt not small pokes (i guess her fingernails). She did give me a. Handjob and stated that only so no sex. I guess whats keeping me at bay is that if she did pierce me or something i wouldve seen blood on white sheet when i got it.

I didnt think much but I married 6 weeks later—-I visited a friends house whose kid was maybe sick. I got sick during our trip to Hawaii and whats bothered me is I got this huge rash i got. Im not sure if symptoms if disease but I know it was itchy as heke so Im assuming sunrash?

I know Im pretty much scared of catching any STDs so I never slept around with girls.

I hope to get some senses to me or do I need to get tested?
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Avatar universal
Tested for what?  First of all, you did have sex.  A handjob is sex.  I'm guessing you meant to say no penetrative sex.  But the real question here is, why on Earth would you think anyone would poke you with needles, and you're also apparently thinking not only would someone poke you randomly with needles for no reason but with needles that were hollow syringe needles that contained a disease.  Again, why on Earth would you think that?  I think that's the question you need to ask yourself, because I'm also guessing that if somebody else asked you about such an experience you'd go, uh, seriously, you think someone just injected something into you for no reason?  When people inject drugs to get high, I'm assuming you mean drugs like heroin, and you must know they inject them into a vein.  Vaccines go into muscle.  You wouldn't just randomly poke a needle anywhere because the substance wouldn't get where it need to get to for an impact.  So bottom line, deep inside you know nothing happened, and so you need to look inside and figure out, is this a chronic anxiety problem where you find life generally scary and challenging and if so therapy is what you need.  If you just have a phobia about getting HIV, lots of people have that phobia.  One of the ways to fight this is to get a good book on sexual health and learn what actually is a risk for stds.  The second is to relax.  The third is figure out why you are so phobic about this, and if this one phobia if that's what it is bothers you so much life is hard then again, therapy.  
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