Anxious abot getting HIV

[serbguy]

Hi. you can read my previous post questioning about my issue (frotting and possible penetration), and to see why I am concerned. Even if some people, Teak and others told me that I don't have to worry about, I still do.I read some post of people with similar (or even same)situations, and even doctors responded to them that they didn't have risk. But I am still feeling anxiety.In my head I already have HIV.Maybe it's because of quilt of what happenned, and in my paranoid version of the story that guy 'had' hiv and he wanted to transmit to me on purpose.He was pushing head of his penis against my anus, and I was squizeeing sphincter and didn't let him to come in.Even if he said that he isn't crazy to do it without a condom, I think he would get in if I let him.So, after 40 days after that issue I got cold (lot of people here did here in my city) For 6 days I have small temperature (37,2 - 37,5 which is a little above normal), or some days I didn't have it. Now I am connecting it to HIV symptoms.The more I am reading about HIV, the more anxious I become, and very scared.I had also headaches after my issue, 2 times after long walk in the city ( I read that headaches can also be symptoms).I don't have those swollen nodes, and no rash. I know I probably only got cold, or maybe a virus because lots of people are ill, but I am still very anxious.I  don't even have too high temperature.I know this sounds irrational, but every day I am feeling very anxious and scared.Please tell me some words that will calm me down. I don't have anyone to talk about this. I don't have courage to go test, I think I could die overthere. When I even read about all these stuff, my heart starts beating and I am feeling I am going to faint.I am a person who had anal sex with only 4 people in my life , and with condoms. I had unprotected oral sex more times (insertive and receptive). In last 5 years I had anal sex with only one person.And that is probably because I am hiv anxious, so I can't have sex with random people.So, I am not that promiscious to worry about much ,but still.....
Sorry for my long letter, please tell me some words to calm me down a bit.
Thanx

[serbguy]

Thank you Greenydia. Your words really meant to me. Peace:)

[RubyWitch]

You're welcome and we wish you a long, happy and very healthy life!
Peace
Greenlydia

[serbguy]

Thank you very much

[RubyWitch]

I stopped reading your post when I got to your second sentence which stated........." Even if some people, Teak and others told me that I don't have to worry about, I still do. But I am still feeling anxiety."

If your risk has been assesed by Teak and he told you that you had nothing to worry about, then you have the truth. Period.

If you are still unwilling or unable to accept this, then you need to get into therapy to deal with your health anxiety issues. I would also recommend that you get yourself educated about HIV/AIDS. Simple ignorance is feeding your anxiety. (Ignorant does NOT mean "stupid." Check dictionary)

Words to calm you down, which you've already received...............

You do NOT have HIV
Get tested to ease your own mind, even though you have no need to be
Educate yourself so you will understand what is and what isn't a risk

Please do not post again with any "but what if" questions or begging us to understand how scared you are.
Your questions have been answered. And we DO understand you're scared. So YOU need to do something about it.........there is nothing else we can do for you here.I wish you the best but you need to move on.
Peace
Greenlydia

[dezzicupcake1]

Firstly, you need to go to a doctor. I know how bad anxiety can get. I thought I had cancer. I am only a 15 yr old female both my parents have cancer. I looked online and thought I had symptoms. It scared me so much. I have had anxiety my whole life of having a bad childhood. So please, safe yourself the worry and go find out if you have it for sure or not. I wish you luck.

[dezzicupcake1]

I havent heard your first post. So before I give you advice, you think you have HIV because some guy tried to give it to you?