Depressed periods -hiv fear

[Helplesswonder]

I was diagnosed as bi polar in middle school , I am 23 years of age now... & I take prescribed sertraline on and off (more off than on) but I've realized I've been experiencing different lengths of maniac depression.. I won't get dressed, socialize with the world.. I sleep into the day & have insomnia at night.. I don't really eat & what triggers it all.. is the fear I have HIV .  Every time I have sex (although protected) I fear I have contracted the virus & am approaching death... & then I get tested.. & everything is fine until I have sex again.. sometimes I even think the phlebotomist will infect me.. I can't win for losing . My local clinic has put it in the system that I test too much , & they even tried to refuse me service . I need prayer, new meds & a fresh start .

[Helplesswonder]

I've been thru numerous counselors, but once I feel that bit of relief.. I tend to stop going ! I'm going to make it my duty to get on the right medicine & find a counselor & stick with it. I've noticed that writing in these forums even makes me feel better !

[cj29]

I am sorry you are going through this right now.  Health anxiety is quite common in this forum and initially can be very hard to confront.  The smart thing is you are having protected sex, which is smart...you have taken the precautions necessary to make sure you are safe.  Throughout your exprience with your health anxiety, have you ever gone to see a therapist to talk this over with?  I know for me, the combination of talking through it and medication, helped me to overcome my fears with health...keep us posted!