Depression or Anxiety

[beffqwerty]

I don't really know where to start with this, I don't know if i have anxiety or depression or whether it's possible to have both. I always feel nervous and panicky, but also like i'm not worth anything and like everything i love, everything i hold dear, i'm going to lose and that it'll be my own fault. I always seem to mess up in relationships and everything i do, and its always my own fault. I've tried to get out of the habit of messing things up but it just seems to happen again and again. My doctor doesn't seem to think its too much of a problem but its starting to really affect my everyday life.
Any help would be good
Thanks

[kcdem]

I think you are projecting about what therapist you may end up with...imagine that us projecting the worst. if the therapist appeases you tell them, tell them you need challenged. the fear of abandonment and rejection can ruin your life, take care of it as best you can NOW. I also would strongly recommend to you john bradshaws (i think that is correct) books on INNER CHILD THERAPY. i know the inner child stuff sounds stupid but i found it profound. keep hope alive


kcdem

[beffqwerty]

Thank you,i know how it feels to be scared that people won't put up with my weaknesses and fears, i don't want them to be either scared away or pity me and leave, i'd rather just not have them there in the first place so i don't get hurt anymore.
Its a good motto and one i will think about :)
I will also look at the free workshops to see if they help and will post on here if they have any effect, i'm hoping to end up with a good therapist who won't just appease me which a lot of the posts on this site seem to tell me they do. I feel like i need to be a bit challenged so that i can find out what i can control and how far i can go with that, i live in hope

beffqwerty

[kcdem]

it is certainly possible to have both. i know i do. fear of abandonment is a very powerful thing. i smother the person or treat them bad because i am sure they will leave anyway. i am going thru that now with my wife of 8 yrs. i know that i always end up with dysfunctional people, i guess that competent women scare me and i feel like they wont put up with my fears and weakness.

it is healthy to be honest with yourself, but i doubt it is always your fault. i like the motto IF I AM NOT THE PROBLEM THERE IS NO SOLUTION, but we can take that too far. It really means that my portion of the problem is all i have control over. i would wait the 6 monhts and start therapy, you are young so enroll now and post here and wait. i think it would be worth it if you end up with a good therapist. i would also try eating healthy, exercise, reading books about your problem, downloading FREE anxiety and depression workshops, and so on. Good luck to you


kcdem

[beffqwerty]

I've tried changing to a different doctor within my surgery and they didn't help much either, I tried changing practice but they told me i couldn't unless i appealed to their manager which they said probably wouldn't work. I can't afford a private therapist and it'll take me at least 6 months to get into NHS counselling.
Thanks for the positive thinking though, it's good to feel like i'm not alone in this after so long feeling helpless :)

[Jerzeegal]

Often anxiety and depression go hand in hand. If it's affecting your everyday life and your doctor isn't paying much attention then it's time to switch doctors.  There is help out there whether it be medication, therapy or both.

Find a doctor who will listen to your concerns and get a therapist you can talk to. Keep posting here... lots of people give great support in this forum and you aren't alone.

Good Luck
Jerz