Aa
Do I have anxiety?
Hi, I have never had anxiety before until now. I lost my job 3 weeks ago for no reason. I am a full time college student, and without a job my bills are increasing and I'm already in collections. My medical billing agencies keep bothering me to pay and I cant because I barely have any money in my savings right now, and every dollar I have has to be used wisely. So I'm stressing out about money liek crazy.. second of all, I have two weddings to go totomorrow, I was gonna see my boyfriend tonight but decided not to cause I have a ton of hw to do and wanted to clean the house since I wont have time to tomorrow. I spent like 3 hours on one hw assignment and Im super pissed about it cause I thought one day would be enough time and it isn't i still have a ton of thigns to do. I've cried at least 10 times today when I feel too overwhelmed. I've been crying for the past few days when I feel overwhelmed. I tried yoga to calm the mind and it helped, until I got to the kitchen and my dad wanted me to do dishes when I was too tired to. I get very angry easily lately. I have had this awful cough also for like 2-3 weeks and its annoying. I tried exercising the other night and started crying cause I kept thinking of everything I am worrying about. Anytime I have to interact with my family, I become super irritated and just want to be alone. It's hard to study when my neice is talking or yelling or my dad is constantly talking to me. I feel like I have time but it's not enough and I need to get my hw done before tomorrow or I am going to be extremely pissed off. Is this anxiety? and wtf can i do to stop it? I'm also very tired lately. And right now i want to just give up on hw cause it's stupid and pissing me off the more I look at it. Oh and I'm hungry but there is no food in the house. Goodbye.
I agree to a certain point with the above poster. I, too, believe very strongly that what you are experiencing is situational anxiety due to how overwhelmed you are. I don't think, at THIS point, you need to seek therapy.
What I do think is that you need to get your priorites straight.
In the three weeks since you lost your job for "no reason," have you been looking for another one? Have you applied for unemployment insurance? Even if you were fired, you can appeal that decision and in most cases, the ruling will be in your favor. If you go that route, just make sure you tell the absolute truth. Otherwise you'd be looking at a charge of fraud which would definitely add more stress to your life.
I got the impression from a couple things you said that you are living at home. Is that correct? If so, then you have a roof over your head and food on your plate. That's two very major expenses you don't have to worry about right now.
You also said some things that I found a little disturbing. You stated............" I tried yoga to calm the mind and it helped, until I got to the kitchen and my dad wanted me to do dishes when I was too tired to." You also said........."Anytime I have to interact with my family, I become super irritated and just want to be alone. It's hard to study when my neice is talking or yelling or my dad is constantly talking to me. I feel like I have time but it's not enough and I need to get my hw done before tomorrow or I am going to be extremely pissed off."
Who, exactly, are you going to be "extremely" pissed off at? I'm sorry to say this, but I find your attitude rather selfish. How long would it have taken you to do the dishes? How difficult would it be to calmly and maturly request some alone time to do your homework? It doesn't sound like you're doing much to change the situation, except complain, and that's not working out so well. If it is difficult to study at home, why not, after doing the dishes, you head out to the college library for the peace and quiet you need? I know that most colleges have libraries that are open 24 hours to accomodate students who must work odd hours.
Medical bills can pile up and when you don't pay them, those collection agencies CAN be "bothersome." What I have learned over the years is that it's far better to face these thing head on rather than keep ignoring them. They aren't going to magically go away and you're only going to keep getting more and more stressed out about them. Plus, the longer you don't pay, the more late fees and penalties are going to be added and what may have started out as a reasonable amount is now over the moon.
You can solve this problem by calling them and letting them know that you WANT to meet your financial obligations, but you've just lost your job, you're a full time student, and would like to know what sort of payment arrangements can be made. Please keep in mind the nicer you are during this "negotiating," the more likely they are to work with you. Getting "pissed off" will immediately end any chance of payments you can actually afford. Tell them honestly what you CAN afford to pay until you get back on your feet. If that is only $10 a month, be firm, but nice. They will most likely say they can't accept that small of a payment, but if that really IS the only amount you can pay, they will most likely cut you some slack for a couple of months until you find another job and are able to pay more. That you are making a sincere effort to pay off the debt means more than the amount. Once you have talked with this agency and worked out a deal you can live with, a huge amount of stress will be gone from your life.
The weddings. How long have you known about these two weddings and that they were happening on the same day? This also sounds like something you've put off dealing with until it's turned into a major stress monster staring you in the face.
I have one solution which may not be to your liking, but it would definitely make the stress totally disappear.
If both parties getting married are very close and dear friends, I can understand why my solution would not be well liked. On the other hand, if they are near and dear, then they should understand your decision if you choose to take this path.
I would sit down and write a note of apology and regret that you will not be able to attend the wedding(s). Total honesty is again of the utmost importance, because if these friends cannot accept your reason(s) for not attending, then you'd best reevaluate the friendships. Of course they may be very disappointed you can't attend, perhaps even hurt, but life is full of very difficult decisions and as adults, we must live with the consequences.
Word your note however is best for you, keep it very positive and not focused on all YOUR problems. I would simply say something like due to financial difficulties that have recently occured, you are unable to attend the wedding, but as soon as you're back on your feet, you look forward to getting together with them to look at the wedding pictures, hear all the details and give them your wedding gift. (Which should be within your budget)
You may feel badly about not attending if these weddings were something you'd really been looking forward to, but is seems you have a certain penchant for being disorganized and it's that which has brought this particular stress into your life.
You also wrote.............."I was gonna see my boyfriend tonight but decided not to cause I have a ton of hw to do and wanted to clean the house since I wont have time to tomorrow."
It sounds like you are taking your education seriously and sometimes at the level you're at in your studies, sacrifices must be made. I'm sure it would have been relaxing to see your boyfriend, but you had a ton of homework to do. I'm sure your boyfriend understands. There will be plenty of other nights. You are a 22 year old woman, you surely must know by now that we can't always get what we want.
As for "wanting" to clean the house since you won't have time the next day.........seriously, could the housework not be a priority just this once?
You then write.........."I spent like 3 hours on one hw assignment and Im super pissed about it cause I thought one day would be enough time and it isn't i still have a ton of thigns to do."
You spent three hours working on one homework assignment, which apparently was longer than you anticipated it would take and this made you "super pissed" because you thought you could get everything done in one day. But out of an entire day, so far you've only spent three hours on homework. Since you're not seeing your boyfriend and if you can put off the housecleaning, that should leave you plenty of time to finish your homework. And if you opted out of the weddings, you'll have a full day to get it done tomorrow. Or perhaps not seeing the boyfriend and forgoing the housework, you could get your homework done AND go to the weddings.
It was this last part of your post that made your "problem" really clear to me.
"I feel like I have time but it's not enough and I need to get my hw done before tomorrow or I am going to be extremely pissed off. Is this anxiety? and wtf can i do to stop it? I'm also very tired lately. And right now i want to just give up on hw cause it's stupid and pissing me off the more I look at it. Oh and I'm hungry but there is no food in the house. Goodbye."
To answer your question "is this anxiety?" I believe I can say with some small certainty that what you are dealing with is NOT anxiety.
I've also changed my thinking about the advice worriedworry gave you. I now believe he is spot on that you should seek professional help. Show your post to a therapist and he/she will know exactly how to help you.
I wish you the very best
Peace
Greenlydia
What I do think is that you need to get your priorites straight.
In the three weeks since you lost your job for "no reason," have you been looking for another one? Have you applied for unemployment insurance? Even if you were fired, you can appeal that decision and in most cases, the ruling will be in your favor. If you go that route, just make sure you tell the absolute truth. Otherwise you'd be looking at a charge of fraud which would definitely add more stress to your life.
I got the impression from a couple things you said that you are living at home. Is that correct? If so, then you have a roof over your head and food on your plate. That's two very major expenses you don't have to worry about right now.
You also said some things that I found a little disturbing. You stated............" I tried yoga to calm the mind and it helped, until I got to the kitchen and my dad wanted me to do dishes when I was too tired to." You also said........."Anytime I have to interact with my family, I become super irritated and just want to be alone. It's hard to study when my neice is talking or yelling or my dad is constantly talking to me. I feel like I have time but it's not enough and I need to get my hw done before tomorrow or I am going to be extremely pissed off."
Who, exactly, are you going to be "extremely" pissed off at? I'm sorry to say this, but I find your attitude rather selfish. How long would it have taken you to do the dishes? How difficult would it be to calmly and maturly request some alone time to do your homework? It doesn't sound like you're doing much to change the situation, except complain, and that's not working out so well. If it is difficult to study at home, why not, after doing the dishes, you head out to the college library for the peace and quiet you need? I know that most colleges have libraries that are open 24 hours to accomodate students who must work odd hours.
Medical bills can pile up and when you don't pay them, those collection agencies CAN be "bothersome." What I have learned over the years is that it's far better to face these thing head on rather than keep ignoring them. They aren't going to magically go away and you're only going to keep getting more and more stressed out about them. Plus, the longer you don't pay, the more late fees and penalties are going to be added and what may have started out as a reasonable amount is now over the moon.
You can solve this problem by calling them and letting them know that you WANT to meet your financial obligations, but you've just lost your job, you're a full time student, and would like to know what sort of payment arrangements can be made. Please keep in mind the nicer you are during this "negotiating," the more likely they are to work with you. Getting "pissed off" will immediately end any chance of payments you can actually afford. Tell them honestly what you CAN afford to pay until you get back on your feet. If that is only $10 a month, be firm, but nice. They will most likely say they can't accept that small of a payment, but if that really IS the only amount you can pay, they will most likely cut you some slack for a couple of months until you find another job and are able to pay more. That you are making a sincere effort to pay off the debt means more than the amount. Once you have talked with this agency and worked out a deal you can live with, a huge amount of stress will be gone from your life.
The weddings. How long have you known about these two weddings and that they were happening on the same day? This also sounds like something you've put off dealing with until it's turned into a major stress monster staring you in the face.
I have one solution which may not be to your liking, but it would definitely make the stress totally disappear.
If both parties getting married are very close and dear friends, I can understand why my solution would not be well liked. On the other hand, if they are near and dear, then they should understand your decision if you choose to take this path.
I would sit down and write a note of apology and regret that you will not be able to attend the wedding(s). Total honesty is again of the utmost importance, because if these friends cannot accept your reason(s) for not attending, then you'd best reevaluate the friendships. Of course they may be very disappointed you can't attend, perhaps even hurt, but life is full of very difficult decisions and as adults, we must live with the consequences.
Word your note however is best for you, keep it very positive and not focused on all YOUR problems. I would simply say something like due to financial difficulties that have recently occured, you are unable to attend the wedding, but as soon as you're back on your feet, you look forward to getting together with them to look at the wedding pictures, hear all the details and give them your wedding gift. (Which should be within your budget)
You may feel badly about not attending if these weddings were something you'd really been looking forward to, but is seems you have a certain penchant for being disorganized and it's that which has brought this particular stress into your life.
You also wrote.............."I was gonna see my boyfriend tonight but decided not to cause I have a ton of hw to do and wanted to clean the house since I wont have time to tomorrow."
It sounds like you are taking your education seriously and sometimes at the level you're at in your studies, sacrifices must be made. I'm sure it would have been relaxing to see your boyfriend, but you had a ton of homework to do. I'm sure your boyfriend understands. There will be plenty of other nights. You are a 22 year old woman, you surely must know by now that we can't always get what we want.
As for "wanting" to clean the house since you won't have time the next day.........seriously, could the housework not be a priority just this once?
You then write.........."I spent like 3 hours on one hw assignment and Im super pissed about it cause I thought one day would be enough time and it isn't i still have a ton of thigns to do."
You spent three hours working on one homework assignment, which apparently was longer than you anticipated it would take and this made you "super pissed" because you thought you could get everything done in one day. But out of an entire day, so far you've only spent three hours on homework. Since you're not seeing your boyfriend and if you can put off the housecleaning, that should leave you plenty of time to finish your homework. And if you opted out of the weddings, you'll have a full day to get it done tomorrow. Or perhaps not seeing the boyfriend and forgoing the housework, you could get your homework done AND go to the weddings.
It was this last part of your post that made your "problem" really clear to me.
"I feel like I have time but it's not enough and I need to get my hw done before tomorrow or I am going to be extremely pissed off. Is this anxiety? and wtf can i do to stop it? I'm also very tired lately. And right now i want to just give up on hw cause it's stupid and pissing me off the more I look at it. Oh and I'm hungry but there is no food in the house. Goodbye."
To answer your question "is this anxiety?" I believe I can say with some small certainty that what you are dealing with is NOT anxiety.
I've also changed my thinking about the advice worriedworry gave you. I now believe he is spot on that you should seek professional help. Show your post to a therapist and he/she will know exactly how to help you.
I wish you the very best
Peace
Greenlydia
I think you are just having some situational anxiety do to stressfull conditions in your life right now. You probably do not have an anxiety disorder. However, it never hurts to talk to a mental health professional.
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