are we weak minded bc of anxiety?

[blessednloved09]

I have a question for all the rest of you anxiety ridden people out here.... My bf really makes me feel bad bc he keeps telling me that I am very weak minded and that I let this control me like I want it to.... I feel really bad and he doesn't understand that it hurts my feelings to tell me I'm weak... Has anyone else ever gone through this with their partner or a family member? How do you find someone to confide I. When the one person your supposed to do that with can't even comfort u in it?

[XxBrokenInsidexX]

I too suffer from anxiety and find that no one really understands what its like unless they too suffer from it as well. It is important to understand that you cannot help the way you feel, and you should never feel like its not ok to experience what you are. Anxiety is not something we choose to have and nor is it something that we can outright control. I think it would be beneficial to discuss your feelings with your significant other and try to help them understand what its like to have anxiety. It also helps to have someone to talk to that knows what you are going through. I am always available with an open ear and an open mind if you ever need someone to talk with. Best of luck!

[scorpiogirl9]

ive had this happen to me before! Honestly i know that only others with our problems can really understand, he as your bf should really take the time to read about anxiety or learn about it so he can learn how to treat you better! If a friend or bf told me that i was weak mided because of this i would really think twice about wanting him around, because when we have anxiety the last thing we need is someone rambling about who they think we are'' well in my opinion! anxiety people are extremely hard people, not weak at all, because we go through so much more than the average person, we are stronger than a lot of pple i feel. We think differently and we know right away when were being too trustful of someone when we shouldnt.. just talk to him and explain you need him to be more patient with you and give him a book or tell him to go online os he can read about us before judging.

[edgyboy]

Someone that has never experienced anxiety will never understand what it is like to deal with. I dont care who it is. Anxiety can be very humbling!

[blessednloved09]

No I'm currently not in therapy (no insurance). Its just hard because when I have an attack he is the one to calm me down, but when we are having a normal conversation about it he says I am weak minded and his mind is stronger than mine bc he would NEVER let anxiety get to him. I have explained to him that I'm NOT letting it but I don't know how to control it. I tell him that he can not say that until he goes through anxiety. I can't afford therapy at the moment so I am trying to deal with the anxiety the best I can

[nursegirl6572]

Short answer: heavens no!

MANY loved ones seem unsupportive because they just don't understand.  They get frustrated as to why we cannot just control our own emotions.  They don't get that we are wired differently than others without anxiety!

People from ALL walks of like deal with anxiety, from doctors to lawyers, politicians, the clerk at the bank, the HS student, you name it.  It is in no way a sign of any kind of weakness or flaw.  

Are you in therapy?  If so, I would discuss this with your therapist, and ask to bring your BF along for a session or two, so that maybe your therapist can explain a little more about anxiety to him, and guide him a bit on things he can do to help you in your battle.

Hang in there, it's tough when we feel we don't have the support we need, but in the defense of our loved ones, it isn't the easiest thing to understand OR cope with!

[kka264]

Only who feels it knows it....Only persons who experience anxiety will be able to in fact understand.  I found comfort in few persons at first---some people do not understand and even distance themselves from you when you are going through this disorder.  Many people tell you "oh just stop it and calm down" this is the worst thing you could in fact tell someone who is suffering from panic/anxiety.  Sometimes the persons you think are closest to you are the head ones who do not understand and are very unsympathetic.  I confide in 2 friends my very dark secrets and feelings relating to this disorder.  Don't expect everyone to understand.  Every person has their limitations and sometimes the ones that care the most about you just want you to be "normal" like you were before.

FYI
just because we experience these feelings-it does not qualify us as being weak.  Everyone has their vulnerabilities and weaknesses and this just happens to be yours. You never know what his might be.  Everyone has their hard moment-some have diabetes, high blood pressure, depression some of us have disorders.  Now that you know he does not understand--express to him that this hurts you-but also note to yourself you may just need to find another friend to be there for you.  There must be at least one person who may not suffer from the disorder but are good listeners.