I feel like I'm losing it....what is wrong with me?

[Angela316]

:Sigh: I have had such a rough day today. For the first time in 2 years I had an anxiety attack. And it was the worst I've EVER had.  It lasted at least 2 or 3 hours.  I tried to calm myself down at first but that didn't work so I ended up taking an Ativan. After about an hour I was still freaking out so I took another half of pill.  Even after taking 1.5 Ativans I was stilled freaking out. I just had to lay down in my room quietly and pray that this would pass. About an hour later I finally built of enough strength to drag myself out of bed. By that point, I was sluggish, yet still nervous and had a job interview ,that I could not reschedule, that I had to go to that next hour.  I prayed so hard for God to just get me there, get me through it, and get me back home safely.  I was alone when it happened. I so wanted to call 911 and say "HELP ME I'M DYING" but I knew from past experience that it was just an attack. I still can't believe how bad it was and how long it lasted. I have been under a huge amount of stress lately, so I guess that was the trigger.  I still feel shaken, my muscles are unbelievable tight and my head feels like it's about to explode. One side of my head feels like I have a muscle cramp while the back of my head feels like someone is pulling my hair really tight. It's really kind of scary but I guess it's just tight muscles. I am going to the doctor tomorrow to get a physical and get a second opinion on these headaches I've been having.  I know he'll probably say it's tension headaches/migraines, but good ol' anxiety has me convinced that it's a tumor, a clot, or worse.  I'm so frustrated because I had been doing so well, and now I'm back to square one.  I'm 23, I just graduated from college. I'm supposed to be starting my life now, but I feel like I can't because all I do is worry, stress, and obsess over things that don't need worrying about.  I'm such a mess right now...I don't know what to do.

[tigereyedjames]

Are you in therapy...have you talked to your PCP about your anxiety issues?
That's the first step...

[astou]

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH BUT PLEASE HANG IN THERE AND KICK ANXIETY IN THE BUTT. I AM SURE IT IS SAID THAN DONE BUT I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. THERAPY REALLY WORKED FOR ME , THANK GOD THAT I DID NOT HAVE TO BE ON MEDS.
AND PLEASE KEEP PRAYING< THAT HELPED ME A LOT TOO.

[Angela316]

Thanks for the encouragement.  I currently am not in therapy and am searching for one that I can afford (I'm currently unemployed with bare minimum insurance).  I know this stress is coming from worrying about certain members of my family that have had very serious health scares within the past couple of months. I know that is what triggered my anxiety, which has triggered these symptoms.  I just wish I could relax! I am so TIGHT! I feel like someone is choking me, and my head, neck, and shoulders are just unbelievable tight. My doctor's appt today was just a waste of my time and money, as he just blew me off and said "oh it's just tension". Very frustrating.  I just don't know what to do. I've tried exercise and trying to distract myself with other things, but that is not helping. Myabe I should try taking my lexapro again. It did seem to help. I'm getting a deep tissue massage tomorrow because this tension is unbearable. Just pray for me.