Fear of HIV

[potty008]

Hi guys.I have HIV anxiety from fear that I might touch blood from environmental surfaces and touch eyes or rub nose.
I always check on objects if they have blood or redness.Someone might notices my strange behavior.
Moreover I took hiv tests like 20 times! All the  tests didn't come from real risk like unprotected sex but often come from  various anxieties and one of those is touching objects with blood. I read about transmission well but can't help fear that cause anxiety that drive me to take  tests which are useless!  

I know but can't stop! what should I do?

[potty008]

Thank you for listening,smg78

Let me describe myself for a bit more,I study master degree and almost finish.I am doing independent study but now I'm not in the mood because of anxiety.Now I don't do anything.I just play internet and trade mutual fund from a bank .I could say that my life is internet.Many times I go to read and reread about hiv.  I try to gather strength to go to gym but recently it's hard.

I have never seen therapy because I think that if I take hiv test my fear will disapear but it won't when I always see strange situation that put me in fear again and again.

I'm really interested in seeing mental help but never be able to do so

[smg78]

Potty008,
You are not nuts, a lot of medical professionals suffer from this type of anxiety. You can either use medications like SSRI's but at the end of the day, you will need talk therapy, I suggest a good MSW or PhD who deal with this type of anxiety so they can give you coping strategies.