Potty008,
You are not nuts, a lot of medical professionals suffer from this type of anxiety. You can either use medications like SSRI's but at the end of the day, you will need talk therapy, I suggest a good MSW or PhD who deal with this type of anxiety so they can give you coping strategies.
Thank you for listening,smg78
Let me describe myself for a bit more,I study master degree and almost finish.I am doing independent study but now I'm not in the mood because of anxiety.Now I don't do anything.I just play internet and trade mutual fund from a bank .I could say that my life is internet.Many times I go to read and reread about hiv. I try to gather strength to go to gym but recently it's hard.
I have never seen therapy because I think that if I take hiv test my fear will disapear but it won't when I always see strange situation that put me in fear again and again.
I'm really interested in seeing mental help but never be able to do so