Fear of being alone?

[shadowserpent]

So within the past year ive had a steady growing worse fear of being alone, added to my aggoraphobia, and now its grown to the point where i can NEVER be alone. i mean if my boyfriend has rto go somewhere for even 5 minutes i have to caLL SOMEOEN TO COME OVER! EVEN WHEN IM SLEEPING I SOMEOEN KNOW IF HE LEAVES AND WILL WAKE UP AND FREAK OUT!
has this ever happened to anyone? i cant drive alone, be in my house alone, nothing.

[shadowserpent]

yeah im on klonopin, but the lowest dose possible, because im 6 months pregnant, i was on a higher dose and rpozac so not being on the meds is probably not helping~!
i was forced to go without seeing a doc for 3 months now because my old doc said she wouldnt be my doctor while i was pregnant! i see my new/old doc on the 19th of this month(hes old because ive seen him before and new because i ahve to drive a crazy distance to get to him) and hopefully ill be able to up my meds a tiny bit, and he can help me get some cognitive therapy close by where i live.
and its not just fear of my boyfriend, its fear of anyone, if my boyfriends gone i call a friend to come and sit with me, im lucky i have a couple really patient friends who understand my panic attacks and aggoraphobia, and are trying to help me work my way through this new stage of problems.
i really do need therapy though, i used to ahve it and it seemed to really help, i just got better and thought i didnt need it anymore(yeah i know silly me i should have known better) but now im gonna try for it again.

[nursegirl6572]

MrGreen made some awesome points....I agree that there may be a deep seeded reason you're afraid of being alone.  His post is one that you should read several times...he poses some really good questions.

Another possibility is that it is part of your agoraphobia....that isn't uncommon at all.  It starts with you not being able to DRIVE alone....then it progresses to you not being able to drive, period...to you not leaving the house...and maybe a couple of rough days your BF stayed with you...and you felt more at ease....so now you're automatically anticipating that if he isn't there....something will go wrong?  You'll panic?  Get sick?  Someone will come in to your house and harm you?  Those kinds of what ifs?

Have you sought any type of professional help for your anxiety?  If not....now would SURELY be a great time.  If you have...you may need to either add on therapy...increase therapy.....change med doses, change meds....just basically discuss with the therapist/doc what is going on.

If you haven't had any sort of professional help yet....keep in mind that these things take a while...there is no miracle "cure"...no overnight "fix"....we get ourselves so trained to think and feel one way (fear)...that we usually need some intervention to re-learn how to be able to properly recognize situations that aren't actually threatening or fearful (ie a panic attack)...and learn how to work thru them.  For some, that means meds and therapy...for some, just therapy...but whatever the treatment plan is....something has to happen, b/c obviously you know you cannot happily live like this....and I'm sure you are concerned about the strain it is putting on your BF as well.  

It's so hard for our loved ones to watch us suffer and not be "heard".  I cannot imagine how frustrating it would be to tell someone over and over..."You're ok, you're safe, nothing is going to happen to you"...and yet have that person not be able to "believe" it.  Very maddening I'm sure.

If you haven't...take that all important first step and start addressing your anxiety officially....and of course...stick around here....you can really gain a lot of persepective of what others have gone thru and how they dealt with it.  

To an extent...I had days very similar to what you describe....once when I had my first REALLY scary "intrusive" thought...I called my hubby at work, and he rushed home.  He took a few days off to stay with me...I was so shaken up.  Well....the day he went back to work...I had the biggest pit in my stomach.  I literally wanted to grab onto his leg and be dragged away with him like a two-year old.  I didn't, but damn, I was close.

Now?  My hubby has been out of town since Mon..and while we all miss him (kids especially)...it's also enjoyable to an extent as well....some "free time" if you will.  You'll get there too.  Let us know what's what....we're all here for you.

[MrGreen]

I am sure there are many other people like you. A good lot of the time it is the reverse. I always loved to be alone. Hated company of any sort. But it can work both ways. More a case of finding out why you don't want to be left alone? Probably a fear that if you are left alone you will stay that way? Always be alone. And the thought of that is what you don't like. You like / need the comfort of someone there with you. Which is normal by all means considering what you have been through. Can I ask ' do you ever imagine if he does leave he won't come back '? Just trying to understand what it is about been alone that scares you most of all. Because that is the first thing you have to accept. That it is ok to be alone. If that means taken out a pen and paper and writing whilst you are alone, then well and good, do that. Try to find that something to focus on. Take your mind off the fact that you are alone. You never did mention doctors or medication? Are you been treated for your condition? Any sort of counsiling at all? Just so others reading the topic might be able to build a fuller picture of your situation. But never give up the battle. You can get over it. It may take time and a lot of hard work. But you can beat it.