Anxious about my kids ALL THE TIME

[anxiousmom3]

I seriously have anxiety/OCD not really sure how to separate the two. I worry all the time that something will happen to my kids. It kind of sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud but that does not stop me from obsessing about things and my husband has had enough. Yesterday I took my kids to the movies and everything was good but now I cannot remember when I put my 2 year old in the car. I walked up to the car and he's in his stroller and my other 2 kids got in on their own...I think I must have put my 2 year old in right away but since I cannot remember I think that while I was putting stuff in the car from under the stroller IF he was still in his stroller that someone could have done something to him. I might mention that I have an irrational fear of them contracting HIV. I cannot get this out of my mind and because I cannot remember exactly every single step I have imagined that some attack or something could have occurred in those seconds I cannot recall even though I was there the whole time and probably put him in the car before I emptied the stroller.

[mammo]

I'm glad you're looking for help. I hear you on the therapist, sometimes they need us as much as we need them!  But don't give up, there are some very excellent therapists out there, and you need to find one you're comfortable with.  If after awhile you feel he/she isn't helping, find another.  Your fear is an obcession which can be dealt with, so know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  You need to work on your confidence level with caring for your children, you're very careful I can tell.  But until you are convinced that you are protecting them, it doesn't matter what I say.  You have to know this, and you will.  I hope you find an excellent therapist so you can deal with this and move on.  Everything's going to work out.  Take care.

[anxiousmom3]

Thank you for your response. I am looking for a doctor that would specialize in OCD/anxiety at this very moment. I actually saw a therapist a few years ago that made it worse (I felt) plus I left there thinking she was worse off than me. This fear of something terrible happening to my kids has really peaked recently. In fact I wasn't even worried about the getting in the car incident until almost bed time last night when my mind decided to replay the days events back to me and I couldn't remember exactly each step. I am so afraid that I will make a mistake at some point and even if I glance away something could happen. It's like walking a tightrope every day of my life. I keep saying to myself how could something happen without me knowing when I was right there but I guess to me it is still possible because I am still worried about it.

[mammo]

I think your mind is so preoccupied that you are just not aware of doing things.  Routines can do this to us as well.  You're dealing with a lot, with your anxiety/OCD and 3 children, routine events we can just do without even thinking about them. Your children are your priority, I'm sure he went in the car before anything else was done. You need to address this fear with therapy, you sound like a wonderful mother but you don't want your anxiety to become your children's.  Plus, you want to be able to relax more and enjoy your life without this constant worry.  Your children do pick up on this, so if not for yourself, do it for them.  Seek the needed help and get your life back to normal and harmony in your marriage.  Worry changes nothing, you want to be able to enjoy every moment with your children, don't worry your and their lives away.  I know it's easier said than done, I know this all too well.  But with help you can do this.  We all worry about our children, it's a natural thing for a parent, it's when it becomes obcessive that it creates problems.  Your mind is running like crazy with everything, you can learn to relax and rid yourself of excessive worry thru therapy. I do wish you all the best, and take care.