I think I may have OCD and HIV/AIDS - phobia, that don’t let me live my life normally. It started back in Jan 2015. I had sex (my first time) with a boy I didn’t know very well. We used condoms, not a single one broke, but I do regret that that act. It was stupid. Later in March 2015 I met an awesome guy, (we’ve been together for 2,5 years now.) Back in August 2015 I had HIV test. The result was negative.
We started to have sex (first protected then I started taking pills in Jan 2016) He got tested for HIV when he started his job in 2014 (negative), but he likes martial arts and sometimes there’s blood-blood contact. I know that fighting is considered low/no risk. He hadn’t have any sexual encounter before me. I still had another HIV test in June 2016. It was negative.
But then in December 2016 it all came back to me, the fear of HIV/AIDS. Even though I have had two tests, for some reason I do not feel 100% sure. I have also developed an OCD. I check 5 times if I turned off everything , or if everything is not plugged in. I can go back and check if the door is locked even as I know I locked it for sure.
Do I really have an HIV/AIDS phobia? Will testing for HIV again help? How can I deal with that OCD and phobia? It doesn’t let me sleep and think. Can my first time (I consider it a mistake) have such impact on my psychic? Can HIV phobia be connected with my OCD?
Thanks in advance.